Missing her..

[Comstock]

It's been a couple weeks since I broke up with my (ex) girlfriend. It was such an emotional ordeal at the time when we broke up that afterwards I just felt relief more than sadness. But now that the weeks are going on I just feel empty, sad and missing her.

 

We had been dating for nearly 3 years. She wanted to move in together I just wasn't ready and was doubting if she was the one I wanted "settle down with.".. When I said I couldn't move in, she wanted to separate.

 

We haven't spoken since, but we also didn't really specify whether or not we'd be contacting each-other. When we broke up we were on good terms, and just talked, no yelling or hard feelings.

 

I have this urge to just email her and check in, tell her how I'm feeling etc.. I don't know what I gain from it, but it's just so weird how close we were for years to suddenly not be able to contact her. I don't know if she's upset that I'm not reaching out or she would prefer it that way? Especially with the Holiday's rolling around.

 

I don't think I'm ready to go back with her.. But at the same time I don't want to burn the bridge completely. Is there some way to keep some loose contact without someone getting hurt?

 

I'm really unhappy with my job/career and have been so stressed & overworked that when I was with her I didn't have much time to change my situation. I wasn't taking care of myself and I don't think it was good for her or me. Now that I have a little space I want get my life back in order. If I can do that, I think in the future maybe we could have another shot..

 

I guess the question is basically if NC is the ONLY way to go? Or is there some way to stay in touch? Has keeping in touch with an ex worked for anyone? Even if just in the future they remain friends? I just feel really sad completely losing her in my life.

 

Thanks

[EgoJoe]

Yes, there is, it is called LC for limited contact. Ask yourself this, "Has the relationship run it's course?"

 

If you don't think it has then I think you need to contact her and just be friendly, ask how she is and see if she is interested in getting a cup of coffee or getting a drink to catch up and talk about things you may or may have not learned about yourselves.

 

If she sounds hurt and you will need to read between the lines too but if she does back off until you know what you want.

[lolablue17]

Yes, of course you can contact her.

 

But because you're the one who wasn't sure about her, she might be hurt. So if you care about her, when you contact her be ware if that contact isn't hurting her.

 

Remember - She also might not wanting to talk to you, for her interests, to heal herself, ect... She also might be having a rebound guy.