gotye Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 (edited) my ex and I only dated for 6 monthes... and the last month was terrible we disagree a lot on politics and they are super important to him so he discussed them a lot... I tried to hold my tongue but I am not one to eventually it killed us...I broke up with him and it was mutual we broke up and then hung out and talked for a while then seperated ways we jokingly flirted a few times monthes later but seemed happy for each other pursuing new relationships... then recently we talked about how we both still really like each other and how we both want to make it work and what we did wrong issue I have is trust that he'll actually make time for me... also he's casually seeing a girl he says he is going to break it off with... ok... that is a warning sign and I told him he either needs to break it off and pursue me or don't, and we can remain chatting as friends once in a while (i've had quite a few short term flings since then) I guess what worries me... is not so much the disagreements because I before was miserable in my work life so I felt more aggressively negative and now I can just blow off the disagreements easily and chalk it up to difference in opinion, because we generally like the same thing... My issue is... I just dunno if he will make more time for me... Should I just not try is the question? pros: -we discussed how our arguments were the issue, and we came up with a code to back out if it gets to heated and the code is "we talk about game of thrones or attack on titan" -he will have more time for me now as he isn't involved in this thing he was involved with at the time that ate up his time, an i have less time as I work more so less time to sit around bored without him (that and I feel less of a need to be around people 24/7 and learned the value of "me time" when before I was constantly needy) -i did make an ultimatum... if we were gonna try again he has to commit to two events that are massively important to me and to save his money and commit asap (and it's not a boring event... it's a comic convention where we'll get drunk in funny costumes that I'll make and he said multiple times how he really wanted to go... and I will go to his thing... which is a rennaissance festival cuz... I get to party in fun costumes) cons: -we still are very different in our beliefs politically which is a huge thing with him and his friends -he has this girl who he needs to break it off with, which is kind of a big deal for me even if they aren't commited to each other... I kind of think personally... I should wait till he officially ends it... or else we will just be casual talking fb chat friends and move on, I do really like him, but I am mature enough to not think this is the last man I'll ever be into just because the past 6 months I didn't like anyone I've found... I have grown a lot, got a new great job, learned that I don't need to go out and party every weekend, learned I can depend on myself, etc, etc Edited October 21, 2014 by gotye Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 To me, until he is able to accept and deal with your openness with your thoughts and possibly a hot temper to boot. He will always be in conflict. My SM is a bit of an opposite in her ways of dealing with issues, and openness to be with friends. She is a fiery one with the constant need to know how things are in understanding. She may get on her soap box, or lay some choice words in a good telling, if not clear or misunderstandings steer her wrong. My laid back and calm personality helps with calming her down, plus I allow things to be discussed without confrontation. So we have wee talks on understanding things more often than waiting for the next blow out. If you both can work at that level, it sounds like you can work your issues out between each other. As your cons that you listed are not that big in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
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