Want to reach out...

[robbysurfs]

It been 5 weeks since we broke up it was a intense summer love 2 months to be exact. We spent a lot of time together It was great she asked e to be her boyfriend introduced me to her parents took me to the house she grew up in. I felt really loved by her and for the most part it was awesome. towards the end of the summer she got cold and distant and was worried about going back to school and was panicked over it. I too was in transition between school work ect. She is in the masters program and got a heavy load and I felt like I was losing her.I probably came of as needy and unattractive or anxious. I did show her a lot of affection which probably hurt more than help. Ultimately she got scared and and I didn't help it much.

 

When we broke up she did say when she first met me she fell in love with me. We had a very strong connection immediately and we are both adults in our 30's. The reasons for the breakup was she felt I put her on a pedestal,I liked her more than she liked me, the spark was gone, she felt she was gonna end up taking care of me(wtf) but pleaded to be friend i declined i needed to protect myself. I told her dont txt me anymore unless it had to do with the relationship and i was pretty stern about it. I did not beg or plead I just simply left without a fight and went off the radar.

 

That being said time has passed and I feel okay about the breakup. We both have mutual friends and I am sad because we did have a lot of fun together. I do know that relationship is dead and could never go back to what it was. I know through friends they have said she said "I haven't talked to him he doesn't txt me". I have also heard she is seeing maybe rebounded with a guy and its not going so well. She is not a overly emotionally person to people, very stubborn, and she is insecure and scared too. She is more traditional in the sense that the guy should pursue, I know because she told me this. Meaning she puts up a good front so its hard to say how she feels exactly. I do know she really cared and liked me at a time and through my experience that doesn't just go away, and i have been the dumper and it has been suuuper painful for me on that side too and missed my exs dearly some i even got back with. This is funny and kinda wrong lol, I used her Netflix acct like once or twice to watch a documentary and she watches all sad love movies. She even rated the movies I watched with 5 stars means nothing but I think its funny.

 

I do want to re-establish lc along the lines of being friendly not mentioning the relationship not to rekindle but maybe to start over in a different way.We didn't break up in a horrible way and I don't think she resents me for being a nice guy. My goal is to just open the door and see what happens. I just don't want to walk around the rest of my life wondering what if I would of just reached out or what if I would of fought a bit for someone I really cared about.

Edited October 19, 2014 by robbysurfs

[Ronni_W]

I do want to re-establish lc along the lines of being friendly ... My goal is to just open the door and see what happens. I just don't want to walk around the rest of my life wondering what if I would of just reached out or what if I would of fought a bit for someone I really cared about.

I think if you want to re-establish a (new) friendship, then don't you start putting (new) limits on it like "only LC". Let it develop naturally and organically, and it will end up wherever it is going to end up. Don't try to control it in the slightest at all, is what I'm saying.

 

To receive the best (her most honest) response, IMO, you would have to acknowledge that your behaviour at the end was due to your being quite broken-up about it at the time, but you have recovered and, if she still has any desire to remain friends, then you are now open and available.

You may or may not wish to add that you realize you came off as a little harsh/stern at the time, but it was the best you could do because you had a need for a bit of self-protection.

 

It sounds like you have nothing to lose by contacting her; that you will NOT become all shattered and fall to pieces and feel rejected all over again if she is no longer interested in you/your friendship. But, if there is any chance at all of any of that to get going within yourself then, for your own sake and sanity, DO NOT DO IT.

 

Best of luck.