lanimi Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I sent some sweet messages the other day telling my ex boyfriend who dumped me about 2 weeks ago. After not taking for a week, I couldn't take it and I sent a short email telling him I loved him and still cared so much and missed him. Then I got a reply like below. "Thanks for being honest. I've thought of you too. I'm glad you still love me and that I'm very big in your heart. Hopefully you are still attracted to me, and think of me when you're lonely and you need someone's touch " It kind of scared me as he stopped replying to me all together after this email. And how he seems calm as if nothing is wrong and yet doesn't tell me what he thinks of me at all. We only dated for a few months so that's another thing that makes me think we are over for good. But I really don't want this to an end. I could wait, but he told me not to wait cause he can't guarantee. But then when I tell him I will wait till you won't give a crap, he said something like "oh is that how much you loved me? If you broke up with me, I would wait forever even if I knew you wouldn't come back to me like a stupid puppy." or something like that. I don't really see the intention of the breakup. He really doesn't like me anymore or if he mad and hurt that I couldn't give him enough affection he wanted? I really want him back and spend more time together, because it's like unfinished thing...so frustrating. Now since he doesn't reply to my last email, I'm just leaving him alone, but I'm so scared he will just forget about me and the feelings for me. He won't be back another 2 months and it's so hard I can't even show him how much I care. Please give me some opinion how you think? Do I still have a chance or everything is dead here? I would appreciate any comment. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 By the time people break up there isn't anything left to fix. If it's so bad that somebody pulled the trigger, it was unhealthy before that happened. His message does on it's face indicate a desire for you to keep liking him but it struck me as being outright mean because I thought it indicated that he's happy you are miserable & not over him. At no point does it say he still loves you or that he wants to get back together. It did say he thinks about you but it doesn't say that he wasn't thinking about you in a sadistic way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I don't think you dated long enough or even knew each other long enough for him to be completely into you. Let him go. His response to you is selfish. "Hopefully you are still attracted to me, and think of me when you're lonely and you need someone's touch"???? Are you kidding me? He has an ego the size of Mt. Rushmore. He doesn't want you back but relishes in the thought of you pining over him. UGH. Disgusting. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
tikay00 Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 This is an open and shut case in, "NC for the rest of your life". Open, and shut. No need to get advice on this one. He's pretty evil. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lanimi Posted October 16, 2014 Author Share Posted October 16, 2014 You guys may be right....but how could he so into me like head over heels for me and go cold like this? He said I didn't love him as much as he did and he didnt feel loved or feel skeptical when we were together. But the only reason he might have felt like that is we physically didn't have much time together, and I was still investing myself to him. It doesn't instantly happen right? I should just think that seeing as he gave up so easily on this relationship is how much of feelings he had for me regardless of "I want to marry you." "You should just move in with me" "I want to have a child of you" blah blah blah If I felt that way with someone, I wouldn't leave unless they abuse me or chat on me. I should move on then even if it's hard for me still. I think how he was the sweetest guy ever in my life and miss him so much but I keep telling myself it's not really genuine if he can't keep on doing it for so long... Link to post Share on other sites
Ducky71 Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I sent some sweet messages the other day telling my ex boyfriend who dumped me about 2 weeks ago. After not taking for a week, I couldn't take it and I sent a short email telling him I loved him and still cared so much and missed him. Then I got a reply like below. "Thanks for being honest. I've thought of you too. I'm glad you still love me and that I'm very big in your heart. Hopefully you are still attracted to me, and think of me when you're lonely and you need someone's touch " It kind of scared me as he stopped replying to me all together after this email. And how he seems calm as if nothing is wrong and yet doesn't tell me what he thinks of me at all. We only dated for a few months so that's another thing that makes me think we are over for good. But I really don't want this to an end. I could wait, but he told me not to wait cause he can't guarantee. But then when I tell him I will wait till you won't give a crap, he said something like "oh is that how much you loved me? If you broke up with me, I would wait forever even if I knew you wouldn't come back to me like a stupid puppy." or something like that. I don't really see the intention of the breakup. He really doesn't like me anymore or if he mad and hurt that I couldn't give him enough affection he wanted? I really want him back and spend more time together, because it's like unfinished thing...so frustrating. Now since he doesn't reply to my last email, I'm just leaving him alone, but I'm so scared he will just forget about me and the feelings for me. He won't be back another 2 months and it's so hard I can't even show him how much I care. Please give me some opinion how you think? Do I still have a chance or everything is dead here? I would appreciate any comment. Thank you. The part in bold is what stands out for me. He's leaving things with you open ended because he's exploring other options. He knows you'll hang around so prove him wrong. Agree with what others have said, don't feed his ego, you deserve better. Letting go is always tough but you'll be better for it in the end. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 He may be one of those guys who falls in love at the drop of a hat & has no idea what real love & commitment through the tough times mean. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lanimi Posted October 17, 2014 Author Share Posted October 17, 2014 Yea that's what I thought too. But one time he tells me to stop only because he can't guarantee but the other time he tells me we will never get back together. I don't understand what he really thinks. But as everyone says here I think moving on is the best thing I can. When I think back I have things to complain anyway. I deleted some random guys I only met one day and never talked after because he asked me. Why could he complain like I was taking advantage of his feelings?! Well I'm kinda getting pissed here haha Link to post Share on other sites
Author lanimi Posted October 17, 2014 Author Share Posted October 17, 2014 He may be one of those guys who falls in love at the drop of a hat & has no idea what real love & commitment through the tough times mean. You're so right. I didn't even understand why he could love me so quick and wanted to take it slow so I told him from time to time then when he broke up with me he brought that up and says what I say here is all bull****. I think HE is bull****! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lanimi Posted October 17, 2014 Author Share Posted October 17, 2014 So he sent a message on fb earlier. First: Hey... you wanna chat? I didn't reply. And then about 30 minutes later. Second: Sorry, you must be busy. If you get a spare moment and want to chat, I'll be here. I haven't replied. What does he think "I" want to chat about? I mean if he said he wanted to talk, and so desparate I would have replied but it sounds like he thinks I would chase after and chat? I don't get it...what does he think I am! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Block him from all social media. Problem solved. Link to post Share on other sites
emi Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 As a girl, please have some self-respect. I know you are hurting and you want him back and bla bla bla. I have been there, trust me, this isnt worth. You should give yourself sometime alone, go NC until you got your sanity back then you will realize this boy is such a looser Link to post Share on other sites
leoc1973 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 He asked if you wanted to chat and you ignored him? I am just throwing this out there so don't get offended but is it possible that you always played games with him and he got sick of it. The reason I am asking this is because one minute he is saying I love you, I wanna move in with you, I wanna have babies with you. Then the next he is complaining that he doesn't think you are into him. then the next he dumps you Then he is mean when you message him. but then he asks twice to chat and you ignore? I just don't get why there always has to be games and hard to get and hot and cold. Just talk to him. Ask him what his F'ing problem is and if he is still a douche then tell him to leave you alone and never contact you again. You said you have unfinished things still. Just clear the air and get it over with. Who knows maybe one of his friends grabbed his phone and sent that message or maybe he was drunk and not making sense. Link to post Share on other sites
AieshaR Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 You need to let go of him! You're showing him waaaay to much "care". If he's being cold like that and not replying then yes it's over. And say he does contact you in the near future..don't reply!! Be strong! At least you guys weren't dating for years, you know? You can do better..a guy who will give you his all Good luck x Link to post Share on other sites
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