What are the chances of me getting a second chance?

[JackJackxD]

Hey I'm Jack, and I'm currently in University.

 

Me and my Ex-girlfriend dated for over 2.5 years, and last month she broke up with me. One of the reasons was that I was acting too close to my female friends during summer holiday in Hong Kong and I made some pretty insensitive jokes about one of my female friends that she is jealous about. The similar sort of thing happened last summer holiday too and we had a massive argument on it.

 

When I came back to England, we met up, and on the day she broke up with me. She raised up a lot of the issues that I had, some examples would be bringing my phone out on our dates, being too clingy, sometimes she needs to "babysit" me. And said that maybe we are just incompatible. At the time the only thing I could do was beg/plead or say that I will change. Of course, she has already made up her mind on the breakup, an nothing I said changed. She stated that she wants to end the relationship in good terms and that we are better to be just friends. We took a fairly awkward bus ride to the underground station and parted.

 

A few days later, I messaged her on Facebook. I typed her a massive essay on how I would change, posted her the pictures we took together and recorded me singing a song. Again, I tried to get her back. However, she replied "I've lost that feeling for you now.. Just imagine something's damaged beyond repair.. That's how I feel atm.. Everything you're doing right now isn't touching me at all.. I've completely detached myself from you in the past few months.. I don't want to open heart to you again.. I've done everything that would help me forget and move on from this.. I don't wanna be making a u turn now.. It's not possible anymore.." After that I didn't pursue the conversation anymore and kept my distance.

 

After the talk, I asked my friends for advice, and decided the best thing I should do right now is take "revenge" on her. It isn't revenge as in the sense of making her life hell, but revenge as in making myself into a better person so she would regret giving up on me. When Uni started, we both kept our distance from each other despite sharing mutual friends. We haven't said anything apart from "Hi" and "Bye". I was constantly checking on whether she has paid any attention to me during my lectures, however, she seemed like she was ignoring me completely. On the 2nd day of Uni, I was so upset by the fact that she acted like I didn't exist, and got totally wasted. I drunk texted her, asking whether it is awkward to be friends. She said that it just feels awkward to approach me because I seemed depressed. She added that she wasn't sure how close she should be with me because she had a feeling that I wasn't over her and didn't want to be too close in case I got the wrong signal. She also said that how I looked depressed sometimes and how my facial expressions makes her feel awkward. After that we didn't talk again.

 

Now It's been nearly a month since we've broken up (2 weeks since we've last talked). I've focused a lot more on my studies, set my own goals, and picked up on how to be a better boyfriend from a female friend of mine. I'm really surprised at how much I've changed, considering that I was the laziest person who would do the bare minimum of things. I don't know if I've matured to the standard that she would find attractive, but to myself, taking these big steps makes me feel like I've finally grown up. I would like to say I've moved on, but I can't, since I still have deep feelings for her. When is the best time to talk to her again? Is it too early for me to approach her? Also, do you think she would accept me back?

 

P.S I've talked to one of our mutual friends recently, and she said that my girlfriend seems to be over me already, and said that my girlfriend said that she probably wouldn't date until she graduates.

[No Limit]

In my opinion, it's something like 0%. At worst she already has a new guy waiting.

See, there are girls that will put up with the drama and letting themselves be emotionally abused - oh, sorry, "made jealous" - but normal girls don't have the energy to spare a few extra nerves for you. You are supposed to be her best friend, her partner, not her child.

 

And I also doubt a month is enough time to truly change. Nonetheless, it's good that you got up and brushed the dust off.

Be a better boyfriend in your next relationship.

[JackJackxD]

In my opinion, it's something like 0%. At worst she already has a new guy waiting.

See, there are girls that will put up with the drama and letting themselves be emotionally abused - oh, sorry, "made jealous" - but normal girls don't have the energy to spare a few extra nerves for you. You are supposed to be her best friend, her partner, not her child.

 

And I also doubt a month is enough time to truly change. Nonetheless, it's good that you got up and brushed the dust off.

Be a better boyfriend in your next relationship.

 

I understand, but as time passes by, would she be able to see me as a new person, or would things be irreversible and that she will never accept me as a potential partner again? I mean the qualities of me that she fell in love with is still there.

[DKT3]

The thing is, she likely gave you a second, third, fourth and fifth chance before she broke up with you.

 

At this point words mean nothing, only your actions will carry any weight. Now here is the tricky part, she isn't going to give you the time a day with the I want you back approach. So you will have to take the I'm mature enough to be your friend approach. Hang out with her as much as you can and never, ever talk about a relationship past or future. If you have changed she will see it. If its changes that she desired you will know it. At the same time don't put your life on hold waiting for her to notice.

[JackJackxD]

The thing is, she likely gave you a second, third, fourth and fifth chance before she broke up with you.

 

At this point words mean nothing, only your actions will carry any weight. Now here is the tricky part, she isn't going to give you the time a day with the I want you back approach. So you will have to take the I'm mature enough to be your friend approach. Hang out with her as much as you can and never, ever talk about a relationship past or future. If you have changed she will see it. If its changes that she desired you will know it. At the same time don't put your life on hold waiting for her to notice.

 

Well she gave me two chances previously, but its not like the number of times matters now. I understand that it is a mature thing to be friends with her, but I am scared that my affection for her would surface and only push her away further since I'm not the best at hiding my feelings. I also feel that the damage has already been done, and we can't be "friends". Despite her telling me that she find it awkward to approach me, I feel like she is acting cold/completely ignoring me. Like the way she says "HI" and "Bye" don't have any sort of emotions comparing to the ways she greets her friends, its just a flat/monotone-ed.