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worth it?


teamrocket

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I'm wondering if I should get back with my ex. He was a lot of fun and he's very intelligent with lots of hobbies. Problem is he transitioned from using just pot which I was ok with to using acid, dmt, molly, MDMA and adderall. He also drinks a lot more frequently but I haven't noticed any violent tendencies. He also started doing drag and I'm ok with it but a lot of people have told me he's bad news. I love him to death and we have so much in common idk what to do, I'm afraid I'll never find someone like him ever again.

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Depends if you find the drug usage a problem.

 

Personally I don't mind using recreational drugs every now and again, you've got to have a bit of fun with your life.

 

But if he's using it every day or more than once a month that would be a problem for me, that's gone beyond having a bit of fun and transcending into being an addict.

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evanescentworld
.... I'm afraid I'll never find someone like him ever again.

I'm praying you don't!

 

The guy is a walking liability and a disaster waiting to happen. He's transitioned from pot to stronger stuff, and seems to have no inclination to change, slow down or alter his habit.

 

It will only get worse and no matter how much you love him now - brace yourself - the worse his addictions become (and they will increase, with habitual use) the less important you will be.

You WILL take second place to drugs and anything else he may choose to indulge in.

You will always be the optional extra, if he ever needs to choose between you and his habits, because habits are chemical inducements, and harder to fight.

To say he is a bad choice of BF is understating the matter.

 

Why is he an ex, anyway?

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I also forgot to add mushrooms to the list. He is an ex bc he broke it off afyer a fight. I also needed time away to get over my dad's death.

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evanescentworld

Hun, you need to get away, period. This guy's a pharmaceutical nightmare!!

I really fail to see the attraction.

Sadly, the guy you see, is not the real him.

The guy you see is a doped-up drug-using false individual who masks whatever ails him with several addictive substances.

 

Really, I think if you were ever to even venture considering seeing him again, you'd need your head examining.

Truly, stay right away from him.

 

From what you say, he has absolutely no redeeming features at all.

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evanescentworld
Do you guys really think it's a big deal if he drinks and smokes pot min 5 nights out of the week?

Yes.

Really?

You don't see this?

 

I'm sorry, are you trolling? because either you are, or you are so blinded by some kind of infatuation fuelled by severely low self-esteem, that nothing anyone says will get through to you, and you'll do the dumbest thing [possible and ignore all good advice anyway.

 

The man is a danger-zone - and he doesn't just do pot, "min 5 nights out of the week" - he seems to do a whole load of other mind-crappying stuff as well.

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I am not trolling and I appreciate any advice yougive me I'm just lost and confused now it sucks when you wish more than anything that you could have the old person back before they started using. I love him with all my heart and it hurts me to see him like that sometimes I think he'll be able to function despite all the alcohol and pot and I have fantasies we could make it work

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evanescentworld
I am not trolling and I appreciate any advice yougive me I'm just lost and confused now it sucks when you wish more than anything that you could have the old person back before they started using. I love him with all my heart and it hurts me to see him like that sometimes I think he'll be able to function despite all the alcohol and pot and I have fantasies we could make it work

 

You will never have that person back, ever. Because no matter when and if he stops, the drugs he is now taking, and is increasing his dependency on, will inevitably alter his mental pattern, and change who he is.

 

What you want, is to get back with him and convince him to change.

You want to "fix" him.

 

No go, impossible, can't be done.

 

The only person who can make him realise the error of his ways, and how badly this is affecting his entire life - is him.

And he has to decide that on his own.

 

The old guy you knew, is gone, for good.

He is not who he was, and never will be again.

 

Move on, leave him be, and make a new and better life for yourself, by yourself.

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When you're right you're right I always have these dumb fantasies where we reconcile and everything's perfect where he quits his job at the pizza place and magically grows up and works a real adult job and he's supportive that I'm going back to school to finish my degree. We have kids and just have a totally happy family I have my dream job and we live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood. Despite his drinking he manages to hold down a 9-5 and pot gets legalized so his employee doesn't drug test. These are the stupid fantasies my mind pumps out

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I just wish i knew how to build my self esteem up so I don't find this acceptable anymore . I want to get overt the sadness of losing someone and I want to be able to clear my head so I don't focus on what could have been

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evanescentworld

You look in the mirror every day and you say to yourself, out loud - "You're a lovely person - and you deserve better."

 

And no matter how awkward you may feel, or how much it may stick in your throat, you keep persisting, and saying that, until one day, you realise you believe it, and you believe it because it's true.

 

It's time to shift your focus from "I wish that he...." to "I know that I....."

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