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Using NC to try and win the ex back


Darren2013

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There seems to be alot of emphasis about how no contact is for healing and not meant to be used as a tool to win back an ex. However in the early days and weeks of a breakup of a long term relationship that lasted a few years it is going to be very hard for most dumpees to get the right motives in place for doing NC. The emotions are still raw and fresh and that's normal because people go through a grief process over the end of a relationship.

 

Denial is one of the normal stages of grief. Unless you were just emotionally indifferent about the relationship I don't see how any normal human being won't go through some denial at least in the early days and weeks after a breakup.

 

Therefore I would say regardless of one's motives for using NC it is probably best to implement it as soon as possible because it will still have the same effect as far as healing. I don't see anything wrong if dumpees need some kind of false hope of reconciliation as a temporary incentive for starting no contact. Whatever the incentive is for doing NC we know that doing NC is better than having regular contact with the ex.

 

And I think if most dumpees are honest with themselves in the early days of a breakup there is a part of you that is doing NC because you still have some hope your ex will miss you and want you back. Obviously you still desire to reconcile otherwise you would have done the dumping and not your ex.

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strong-hearted

I am using the NC to try to move on and get with my life now if he decides to come back then that's another thing...honestly I don't really know how anything works any more, all I know is that for my own good sanity and sake the best thing I can do I just to not contact him and stay as far away as possible

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There seems to be alot of emphasis about how no contact is for healing and not meant to be used as a tool to win back an ex. However in the early days and weeks of a breakup of a long term relationship that lasted a few years it is going to be very hard for most dumpees to get the right motives in place for doing NC. The emotions are still raw and fresh and that's normal because people go through a grief process over the end of a relationship.

 

Denial is one of the normal stages of grief. Unless you were just emotionally indifferent about the relationship I don't see how any normal human being won't go through some denial at least in the early days and weeks after a breakup.

 

Therefore I would say regardless of one's motives for using NC it is probably best to implement it as soon as possible because it will still have the same effect as far as healing. I don't see anything wrong if dumpees need some kind of false hope of reconciliation as a temporary incentive for starting no contact. Whatever the incentive is for doing NC we know that doing NC is better than having regular contact with the ex.

 

And I think if most dumpees are honest with themselves in the early days of a breakup there is a part of you that is doing NC because you still have some hope your ex will miss you and want you back. Obviously you still desire to reconcile otherwise you would have done the dumping and not your ex.

 

 

Same the NC is to move on and be healthy, no point into hanging on to something that is not....time to make goals in my life and live life to the fullest...if I do not make my life happen then no one will... :)))

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