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An ex from 8 years ago


Dork Vader

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It's a long story but I'll keep it short. Some time this summer I decided to forgive an ex for the way she treated me. When we dated I was 22 and she was 19. I 'm now 30 and she's um 27 or so.

 

Anyways I finally accepted her friend request on facebook after all these years. We spoke briefly about what we had been up too all these years. She suggested we take a spur of the moment trip to Las Vegas but I declined due to the fact I was busy.

 

She asked if I had been dating I said yeah and that I had just go out of a relationship. She said she had not been. At some point I suggest we text and gave her my number but never heard from her.

 

Last night we got to talking again. The conversation started because I posted Giants need to lose some games. She said excuse me? I then explained to her that I had put a wager on the Giants or my ex. If the giants continue to win my ex will win $2k. I said my ex doesn't deserve it. One thing lead to another and she apologized for how she treated me. She said I was a great guy and all this stuff. I said it's alright all is forgiven you were young. I said sorry for going crazy when things ended.

 

I then told her after we dated I took a nearly 5 year break from dating no sex nothing. She was surprised.

 

She asked if I was happy. This is the second time she has asked. i said hmm yeah but I'm a very different person now, and asked her if she was..

 

At some point I told her there is a lot I'm not telling you. She never answered the "are you happy" and just went MIA on me.

 

I've debated telling her that since we dated I've been unable connect with someone the way I did with her. I've often wondered if she's felt the same way.. But after 8 years one would imagine those thoughts are long gone.

 

There was just something different about her. I've basically compared every woman I have dated to her.

 

Opinions should I tell her that I've been unable to connect with anyone the way. I did with her? She knows I've just got out of a relationship.

 

Should I just avoid it and see if I can get her to hang out some time? If it starts to go some place tell her how I've felt all these years?

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WOuld you like to date her again?

 

Duh! But he's afraid of where it might lead. He's thinking it could be a slow ride back to Splitsville.

 

The MIA part reinforces this fear.

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I'd spend some more time with her in person to gauge where her head is before you start with the declarations.

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I would be open to seeing if the connection is still there and what she is like now.

 

Blah who am I kidding this will go no place. If it was going to go any place she'd have called/texted.

 

I just get this feeling she was trying to prod how I felt and she did not get the responses she wanted.

 

I sort of agree I need to hang out with her first and see what that is like. Just trying to figure out how to make that happen.. Hmm

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Let me give you a little unsolicited advice about that. You may see her. You two may indeed feel an old spark. But unless whatever she saw in you that made her leave has changed, she will eventually see it again and will likely leave you again as a result. You don't know if you really know what that is. She may not have mentioned it to you for a variety of reasons. You've been forewarned, so be careful out there.

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She suggested a trip to Vegas? That's just odd.

 

If I haven't seen someone in years I don't expect that I will go to a party place and share a room with him.

 

I might expect to have coffee and chat it out - but to hit the road for a weekend = NO WAY!

 

It didn't work then and she's given you no new info that she's grown and changed.

 

Until she shows evidence that she's a better person - there's good reason to believe she's still the same as when it didn't work out.

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