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Reconnecting with ex after 3 years


OddFuture

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My ex boyfriend has recently reconnected with me after previously blocking me via facebook for the last 15 months. We had a good relationship back in 2011 but circumstances changed and we were both at different stages in our lives and broke up early 2012.

 

We spoke for 5 hours after him contacting me and it felt as though we hadn't spent anytime apart at all. I was surprised at how easy going the conversation was considering the reason why he blocked me was due to his girlfriend (now ex) not approving of him remaining in contact with me. He suggested a meet up sometime soon to which i agreed to but no plans have been made.

 

Although he has dated after me and i have tried seeing other men, i have always continued to have feelings for him. I seem to connect with him more than i have any other person before/after him.

 

Since he contacted me (a week ago) he hasn't messaged me since. Were not friends on facebook, so i feel as though i cant start a normal conversation without knowing if hes online or not.

 

What could i do to carry on conversation without sounding too interested? I dont want to add him on facebook as i feel thats his decision. I also don't want to reveal i have any romantic feelings towards him as i'm worried this will result in him blocking me again.

 

Any advice on how i can get the ball rolling would greatly be appreciated!

 

(just for some background info: Him and said ex girlfriend split 12 months ago and i was remained blocked as he was dealing with some severe personal issues. He says hes overcome some of these things now and thats why hes got in contact again)

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I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear, but I really don't think you should contact him. You sound more invested in him than he does you. So, as a result you are more likely to relapse into heartbreak.

 

I almost want to suggest NC, but putting myself in your shoes, I know just how hard that may be, so maybe you can let him do all the work, and see what it is that he really wants. From the sounds of it, I don't think you'll be happy with just his friendship (I apologize if I'm wrong about this), as you aren't over him. You should allow him to express (out of his own accord) what it is that he really wants. Good luck!

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I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear, but I really don't think you should contact him. You sound more invested in him than he does you. So, as a result you are more likely to relapse into heartbreak.

 

I almost want to suggest NC, but putting myself in your shoes, I know just how hard that may be, so maybe you can let him do all the work, and see what it is that he really wants. From the sounds of it, I don't think you'll be happy with just his friendship (I apologize if I'm wrong about this), as you aren't over him. You should allow him to express (out of his own accord) what it is that he really wants. Good luck!

 

Thanks for the advice, i'll take this on board!

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Unless the things & issues which broke you up have been resolved, there is no sense in going backwards.

 

If they have been fixed, ask to meet him. See how it goes in person

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Unless the things & issues which broke you up have been resolved, there is no sense in going backwards.

 

If they have been fixed, ask to meet him. See how it goes in person

 

i would say alot have been resolved but possibly not all. Perhaps i should just sit back and see what he does for now?

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If I were you, I would have him come to me. Let him make the initiation.

 

Agreed, but within reason of course. You don't want to come off as immature by playing games/being too avoident. If he asks you for coffee or something it might be worth just going and feeling it out.

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