It's been a month...

[EvanC]

It has been a month since she broke up with me...At first it wasn't a break up. She told me she needs a break...that she feels like she is drowning and that she doesn't want me to wait for her. She feels pressured and she had moved out of her parents house living at her grandmother's house to get away. Her grandmother had passed away just over a month and she couldn't go into the house before then. Of course I did what almost anyone would do...

 

I panicked and wrote to her how much I want her...How much I love her and want to be with her how I will wait for her. That she is special to me... She told me that she needs to be alone now that she has been in relationships too long and has never spent much time by her self. That she doesn't ignore my feelings and that she tried but she is at her limit. I pushed further... She told me that I should move on and that I will find someone else to love and that she doesn't feel anything about me, that she feels empty. That I was simply excitement and the excitement passed... The very same girl who told me that she was in love with me and wanted to move to a whole different continent to be with me only 6 months ago...

 

We were toghether back and forth roughly 8 months. At first when we started dating I was in a dark place in my head my whole life was falling apart...and I put distance between us, hurting her as she was falling in love with me...She put distance as well, because her life started becoming a mess. Her uncle attempted suicide, her grandfather went in the hospital, and was decalred that he didn't have long to live, at most 3 months. Her grandmother suffered a stroke but everything was looking fine after that. We reconcilled after I worked all that out of my system. To top everything of it's sort of a long distance relationship for we are from. We live two hours apart. But it's not that far. Anyway to the point at hand...

 

The 1st two months of us back together Everything was amazing although I could sense she was holding back a bit, she was slowly allowing herself to feel again, I understood why she was holding back. I had hurt her, and I did a lot of things to make it up to her. Then her grandmother dies and work hours change and she starts distancing herself from me. Part of me panicked and reached out... another run to her cause I didn't want to be away at her time that she might need. It was a bumpy ride after that with all of the things in her life pilling up, the impending changes, the death of her grandmother. Her own pressure that she wants to start living on her own 2 feet, but also wanting to stick around and help with her parents economic situation... But even then when we were together, just the 2 of us she was happy, I could see it in her eyes... and then suddenly out of nowhere she tells me that she needs the break. Sure, I could have pressured her, but all I wanted all i gave it came naturally to do so...

 

It has been about a month since she last contacted me... once a week I send a text that I hope she is happy and alright. Two nights ago I heard that she might be doing something with some other guy and I don't know what to think... I tried to not send anything but tonight I relapsed... I sent her again how I feel, how I want her, that I wish she is happy and is well... I feel like I'm losing my mind for the better part of the month...I wake up each morning hoping I might long for her a bit less only to find that it grows with each passing day... Will she come back to me...Or is it truly and completely over.... Some people might tell me that it's too short to indulge her that much...but she made feel alive...like the world was just that little bit brighter...every time we were together time seemed to just stop...

Edited September 3, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs and move to BBU

[donalex]

You really need to go NC man, especially if she is seeing someone else. Just dissapear, as difficult as it is.

It will help you, set it as a goal to go 1 month without contacting her, this means no weekly messages, no checking her facebook, no calling etc.

 

By the end of that month you will feel so much better about yourself that you may find you don't need to contact her at all.

 

Constantly telling her you love her and want her is only stroking her ego and making it easier for her to break up with you. That's why you need to stop all contact and work on yourself. She seems to have issues of her own that need fixing and she has made it clear she doesn't want you there whilst she is fixing them.

 

I wish you all the best buddy, stay strong and soon enough things will start looking better.