Poida Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Hi everyone' I'm a bit confused at the moment. My ex and I broke up 6 weeks ago after 5 years together. I did the no contact rule for 3 or so weeks but I cracked. She just moved into her new place and I made contact to see how she was. She said that she wanted to talk. So I went over and I gave her a love poem that I wrote her. She read it and didn't really show much emotion. She said that she loved it and that's what she missed about me. So one thing lead to another and we started kissing then into a full on passionate sex/love 3 times....probably the best we have ever had together. And I even slept over. We just caught up for a mutual friends birthday at lunch 2 days after all of this happened. I went to give her a kiss after the lunch finished and she said we are not together anymore. I agreed but I do want her back but I'm trying not to push her I'm just trying to go with the flow. I know she still has feelings for me I can see it. All I can see is doing is trying to fight her feelings. Can anyone help me with this. Why did she want to have sex and be so passionate even the next day when I woke up. She is still giving me mixed emotions. And what should I do to get her back. Before we broke up we were engaged for 3 months. Please help. What the fu*k is she thinking. I can't work it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Polak Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 This is why NC requires a strict regime.... Your willpower has to be pretty solid or else you crack, and one thing can lead to another, and then you're back in the same boat. It might help a bit to know why you guys broke up after 5 years (or better yet, why you broke off the engagement). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThorntonMelon Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 I know she still has feelings for me I can see it. All I can see is doing is trying to fight her feelings. That's what you want to see. It's not what she's doing. What shes doing is: didn't really show much emotion she said we are not together anymore What she's thinking is when she needs an ego boost, you'll give it to her, and when she doesn't need you, she's gone. Best of both worlds. I don't see any mixed signals - you're having casual sex, which she probably loves more because there's no strings to it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Go NC and stay NC for eternity. You're just her ego boost. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 You need to keep your distance. You have to be the one to overcome temptation because she will remain in control of the situation if you let her. As others have said, it gives the dumper an ego boost or a power trip. They may not intentionally be trying to gain a sense of control over your emotions but this is eventually what happens. We as dumpees usually get tangled up in the dumper's web of mixed feelings. That's how we get stuck. Do the unstuck...as the poetic Mr. Robert Smith once said. (= (The Cure "Doing the Unstuck") Do not fall victim to your ex again. She wants you on her terms only. That's not the way love goes and after 5 years together she owes you a great deal of more respect than that. I suggest you start demanding it from her. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts