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Ex Calls me after 8 months


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So my ex broke up with me about 8 months ago. Since then I have done NC. Then about a month and half ago she sent me any email asking how I have been also asking about my family. She then starts to call me almost every day sometimes twice a day. She only calls me during the week on breaks or lunch. She want to know about my day and tells me about hers. She mentioned that over the past while she has learned a lot about herself. She misses my voice and that it brings feelings back. She tells me how she loves her new job. She owed me money and tells me that she wants to pay me back and appreciate all what I did for her. She also tells me how she wants a family. I have not initiated any contact. It has always been her contacting me. One time I did not respond to a text for awhile and she responded "guess you are really busy or have a new girlfriend"

We have come from very different backgrounds. I come from a very loving home and a great family. Her parents are split and alcoholics. She was kicked out of the house at 16. I am 29 she is 24.

She has not mentioned meeting up or anything. So I do not know her motive. What do you think?

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She's done slutting up and needs a chump to look after her now. Get her in bed a few times (use protection) and then never talk to her again.

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Thanks for the replys. Part of me says it could be just emotional support. But part of me says she is looking for more. She tells me a lot of personal things.

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Thanks for the replys. Part of me says it could be just emotional support. But part of me says she is looking for more. She tells me a lot of personal things.

 

this is not your job anymore

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The problem is that I still care about her and love her. She is the only girl I have ever fell in love with. The eight months of nc helped me get over her. Now talking to her has brought feelings back. I guess deep down I want her to come begging back. I will not chase her.

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This is why you keep NC until all attraction is gone.

By all means, go full NC for eternity with that girl. Otherwise she'll jeopardize any future relationships when she gets the chance.

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Am I the only romantic here?

 

Talk to the girl. She must be a good girl if you once loved her. Even if she is just looking for emotional support, you should be willing to provide that for her if you ever loved her.

 

Was the original relationship good? Did she treat you well? Why did you split? These are all important factors in your decision making process.

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She is a good girl. It is very complicated as she has had a hard life. Very opposite of mine. So I have always wanted to be someone she can count on as she has never had that in her life. Iam extremely picky when it comes to girls. I have no problem finding girls just never found one I truly wanted to be with until she came into my life. She is very emotional and lives her life on her emotions. This makes her extremely hard to figure out as she does not always make her decisions on logic. She had a daughter at a very young age and has had no backing. She has a big heart wants to help people. She wants to be a counselor to help troubled kids but does not have the money for schooling. She split from me basically on emotions. This is what she tells me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Am I the only romantic here?

 

Talk to the girl. She must be a good girl if you once loved her. Even if she is just looking for emotional support, you should be willing to provide that for her if you ever loved her.

 

Was the original relationship good? Did she treat you well? Why did you split? These are all important factors in your decision making process.

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You want to get your heart broken again because that's going to happen if you get back together with her. It's pretty obvious by all the signs. Live and learn I say. :laugh:

 

Yes you love the girl. You are not the only guy to have strong feelings for a girl. Is she right for you? Be a friend to her, lend her emotional support, but as a romantic partner... nope!

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I think if you objectively believe she is a gud girl and you love her, give her a chance but I hope you have developed yourself well enough that breakups dont upset your life. Listen to her. Don't volunteer any detail bout your life. Soon enough she will state her mission, if it is to get back, make her jump through countless hurdles to earn your trust

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You need to clear few things:

 

1. If you could have her, would you take her back? Think before you answer. It's not a simple answer because she might leave you again.

 

2. Do you want to be friends with her? If not, you should stop contact with her (politely of course) because that what you are now - friends.

 

3. If you want the back, after all the phone calls and texts you have the right to be very clear with her. positively or negatively.

 

Positively: Tell her that you d'ont know what her intentions are. You don't want to be friends with her, and if she wants you back, she must tell you, and if not, so be it, as long as everything is above the surface.

 

negatively: Tell her, you're sorry but you must go NC with her and bye bye, because she is the one who broke up with you, and you don't like being played with. If she wants you back, she will understand that she must bring some money to the table...

 

At least you'll have a clear picture where you stand.

Edited by lolablue17
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Could be a multitude of reasons.

 

Boredom, perhaps?

 

My ex and I don't want to get back together but we both get bored and at some point one of us always contacts the other.

 

It isn't right but...I'm just being honest. She may or may not want to reunite. Keep letting her initiate contact and play it cool. No need to overthink things or get your hopes up too much. Not until she gives you more concrete reasons as to why she's missing you.

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