Ben Calintz Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 So here is my story... She is my first love and we have been together for 3 years.. and earlier this month she decided to break up with me... giving me the reason that she does not know what she wants now and she just do not want to be in a relationship at the moment.. After the break up.. i took some time thinking that where did things went wrong... and this is what i figured out... After our graduation.. i move out from my parent's home to go to some other place to work and i convince her to come along and we can live together.. we have some fights during that period of time but i always apologize no matter who fault it is because the relationship is more important to me.. after 6 months.. i make a immature and selfish decision without thinking of her feelings.. i resign my job because i planned to go to other places with a better job offer.. i didn't discuss with her before my giving in my resignation letter to my boss.. i told her after i did it and it was a stupid mistakes.. she was angry when she knows that.. and so i move out 2 weeks later but i didn't notice that how much hurt i cause her for leaving her, a girl all alone in a far away place from her home.. i fail my new job interview.. but i am to stupid by that time to move back in with her.. i went back to my hometown and get a job there.. i though a long distance relationship with her is ok but i didn't notice she is having a tough life living alone.. because i always tells her that if she have any trouble or discomfort she can just talk to me and i can change what i can to satisfy her.. the bad side is most of the time i don't give her the time or attention she wants to tell it to me.. i visit her once every month and i think that is enough since she didn't make any complaints about it.. the phone calls are lesser.. the chatting time we have on the phone is shorter... i didn't notice that she is feeling lonely.. i take her for granted because i though that i am the best man for her because i buys all the things she wants for her and she will never leave me.. Now she leave me earlier this month.. and after nearly one week time.. i think she is in a new relationship with another guy.. she didn't admit it but i saw her post on facebook.. a picture of 2 person's hands holding each other in a photo.. and i think i recognize one of the hand is hers.. i don't know whether is she in a new relationship this fast after break up or didn't.. if she did.. did they start before or after the break up.. she has now moved to Singapore for a new job opportunity and i am in Malaysia... i just want a second chance from her.. i am sure that i can do better this time around because i know my mistakes and i won't do it again.. i did my mistake because i don't understand how a girl thinks and what they want... i try telling her on text messaging a few days after the break up but she didn't reply and pick up any of my calls.. so i just leave her alone.. and just before i know she was going to Singapore.. i text and try calling her again and she replied me that We are not going to be together again not even in the future... i still have hope.. she still post things on facebook about how i fail to appreciate her and stuff.. i am sure that she has not move on from me... but she won't reply any text or calls from me at the moment.. i just need to know what should i do to get a second chance and is it possible because i don't want to give up on her... Thanks all for your advice and sorry if my English sucks and my long story.. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Ben... Even though you do now realize the mistakes you made, it doesn't sound as if your ex is interested in continuing the relationship with you. I know it's difficult but your best move is to just take these lessons from this relationship, and remember them for your next one. It's not up to you to "give her up"...she is not a piece of furniture or prized possession or cherished pet...she gets to make her own decisions about when and with whom she wants to be in relationship. You do just have to let her go. Delete her from Facebook and block all other ways of contact, also...ALL other ways. Check this site for posts on 'no contact'...and follow those "rules". I know it hurts...and I'm sorry for that. But it's also just part of growing and maturing. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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