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reconciliation failed, hurt and don't want to lose her


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Ok guys I really need serious advice because I feel like I'm going crazy!

 

So my ex broke up with me about half a year ago and after begging and begging I decided to go no contact. Since the breakup she tried working things out with her other ex and they where together for some time but eventually ended it.

 

After over four months of no contact she text me and asked for friendship because she still cared for me and didn't like us ignoring each other every time we in the same room(we have the same friends). So I agreed since I thought I was ready and for the next month we began to get close again and she told me she still had feelings for me and we flirted a lot and hung out and stuff and she made it out that there could be a chance of it happening again. It was going so perfect, we got closer then before and she just said she needs time so take things slow.

 

Then one night we hung out, I wasn't thinking and made a move and she felt under pressure so told me she wasn't ready and we should stop hanging out on our own for now and that it wasn't my fault it was bound to happen.

So for the next few weeks she went very distant and didn't talk to me as much so I decided to ask her whats the problem and she replied that we are just friends and she doesn't want to lead me on and that I want something serious and she just wants to chill out.

 

I then of course did the wrong thing and begged her for a chance and said I can be patient and all that and she kept saying she was sorry and just didn't feel the same even after weeks back telling me different. She said she didn't know what she wanted and didn't mean to hurt me and feels horrible for it.

 

So now I don't know what to do? She said she doesn't want to lose me as a friend because she still cares about me and we got so close recently and I feel the same, I don't want her out off my life especially how we hang out with all the same people. I told her if we stay friends eventually she will find someone and it will hurt me but she said by the time that happens I probably won't even have feelings anymore and won't care. I really don't know what to do? The first time we broke up I didn't mind going N/C but now since we got close its a really tough decision.

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Simon Phoenix

You need to bounce out of this friendship dude. You obviously have feelings and staying "friends" with this person will basically be torture. And she'll never be reattracted to you romantically if you orbit around her. Maybe when you are recovered you can be friends, but right now it'd be the equivalent of eating shards of glass.

 

Of course she's cool with being friends because her feelings are gone. She's recovered, moved on, and being friends with you gives her the creature comforts of your romantic relationship without her having to give you the same.

 

Cliffs: It would be extraordinarily dumb for you to be friends with her at this stage. Maybe way down the road when you are recovered, but you won't recover if you are orbiting around her like a puppy dog.

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Come on OP get your self respect back. You want to be friends with her because its better than not having her at all. Am I right? You cannot be friends with someone you have romantic feelings for.

 

 

You are in for a lot of hurt if you do this. you need to protect your well being and detach yourself from her. She is not interested and you cant change that. No matter how much time you spend with her.

 

 

I have been there. Reconciled with my ex four times. He dumped me four times. I was his stupid doormat.

 

 

I feel so much better within myself since I have seen the light.

 

 

Move on

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