JamesWills22 Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Hey guys, I'll keep this as simple as I can. I dated this girl 7 beautiful months, we broke up due to a misunderstanding. One year on we talked it out and she regretted breaking it off, happy to give us another chance "When it feels right" one day. I inadvertently went into another relationship with a different girl by March and became best friends with my ex, never was an issue. I broke up with the other girl by May, and my ex got dumped by a guy called Liam, he used her then threw her aside for another girl. We were rather close and I fell for my ex sometime after, at first I was unsure with my feelings but I let them grow. She found out about it last week due to a mutual friend telling her, for the next few days contact was off between us, I could tell there was something off but I guessed she had a fight with her family or friends. By Thursday night, I received a message from her: “I know I should have told you when I found out that you liked me, but I just didn't. I've been off because I've been pressured into dating you by people I've told and that's just not what I want right now. It's nothing personal I'm just not ready for a relationship, and that's the absolute truth. I care about you way too much to hurt you, so if when I'm ready you like me still and I do like you then I would want to give it a shot for the right reasons. But right now it would be wrong of me to keep you around as a friend and lead you on because I care about you way too much to hurt you. I value our friendship way too highly to do that to you. I'll always be proud of you, you know that, I'm always going to be friends with you, but I'm just not ready for a relationship right now with anyone. It's not that it's you, it is genuinely me that's not ready, and i should have never of get close to Liam, as I wasn't ready either then, and now I've made it worse for me. Maybe one day we can give it another shot, I don't know what the future holds” We agreed the best thing to do is give each other space for a bit, she doesn't want to ignore my feelings treating me as a best friend while I love her and she isn't ready, she noted to a friend afterward she "needs time" to figure out if she still see's me as boyfriend material, but did say I'm "really attractive". It's been two days, not a word said. Last night she posted a status that said "Fed up constantly feeling like **** the whole time ... :/" then seconds later viewed my profile, interesting. I planned to leave it a week or two then break contact, from there it's all shadows as there's hardly any information around the internet on what to do at that phase or really in the NC phase itself. I've gone out and got myself some new clothes, a more lenient personality, a new phone, some attractive aftershave and overall been more out of the house than what I usually do. I've not asked our mutual friends for word on if she's said anything, but I'm happy with the progress I am making. Typically she's always been a bit of a flirt, so she's most likely talking to other guys too, but chances are nothing will ever come of it. Ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
15yearsin Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Give her space and move on. It's time to date other people and let her come back to you. She obviously wants to date a around right now, and after she gets hurt some more or finds that other guys don't measure up to you, she'll come right back. But for now, your best move is to continue doing what you are doing which is putting yourself out there. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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