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Talked to my ex for the first time in a while


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So I previously posted on this site about my ex breaking up with me. It was about a year ago and she started dating someone soon after our split (my feeling is it was just a rebound. She's single again) I was crushed so I went NC and unfollowed on social media. She would wish me merry Christmas and happy birthday and things like that but that's it. She came back from college and got a job with me as well. So that kind of messed the process up of getting over her. Even though we work together I try my best to ignore her because I honestly don't know what to say to her.

 

So fast forward to this week and I found out this guy I work with was going to ask her out. At that point I knew i still had some strong feelings for her because I was furious and didn't want that to happen at all. I decided to text her as I've been wanting to talk to her recently anyway just to see how she's been but I haven't seen her because I went on vacation now she's on vacation. So I texted her and asked about the situation.

 

She told me she had no idea he was going to ask her out and he didn't even express that he liked her. She also said she wouldn't do it just out of respect for me and that she's not as horrible as I think she is. I told her I didn't think she was horrible and that I still had feelings for her which is why I wouldn't want her to date someone we work with. I told her I would like if she was part of my life again but wasn't sure how we could be friends at this point. She told me she gave countless opportunities to talk to her but that I was rude to her. In all honesty I was completely rude to her because i wasn't sure how to approach the situation of working with the girl I still loved. She did end it with that we can talk once she gets back from vacation though.

 

My hope from all of this is that we can start off as friends and see what happens. She was my best friend and I had so much fun just hanging out with her. My ultimate goal is to get to the point of dating again. I'm not sure of that will ever happen so I'm not waiting but we got along so well and it was just so easy when it came to the relationship. I think going off to college though made her want to just party and have a good time without hurting me.

 

So does anyone have any advice on this situation? She knows I have still have feelings for her but I'm not sure if she's currently talking to someone else. She did say we could talk when she gets back so that seems like a good thing

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Summerrose2013

Were you actually rude to her or did you just ignore her as part of NC and had you told her you did not want any contact with her?

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justletgo07

Sounds like you're still pretty hung up on her, and it sounds like she is still in the same place about you that she was when she ended things. I think you should be less concerned about how to position yourself properly, and more concerned with whether you can handle being her friend if she starts seeing other folks again.

 

You've made it clear that you still have romantic feelings, and you are the one initiating this renewed friendship. If you decide later down the road that you, in fact, can't handle it, then you are going to look wishy washy and move even further from the results you are hoping for. Being friends doesn't bring your ex back. If you genuinely want the friendship, with no ulterior motive, then do it. Otherwise, just let it be.

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