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i dont get it


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So for the last year I've been talking to my ex mostly through calls and texts.. Recently we started hanging out, the first time we hung out she was pretty drunk but she was being flirty with me the whole night. I acted nonchalant because i knew she was drunk and i didn't want to rush into things. I think she took offence to it and thought i wasn't interested in her. We still talked like nothing happened... the second time hanging out we went to a festival together and silly me pulled the nonchalant card again. We were a little drunk again and i was just trying to do the right thing, and be a stand up guy... i think she took it as i didn't want to hang out with her at all. She ended up finding some guy to hang out with the whole festival instead.

 

I felt bad because i wanted to hang out with her, and didn't mean to give her that vibe at all. The rest of the festival was kind of awkward cause every time i ran into her she'd be with that guy and she looked very guilty.

 

After the festival we both went our separate ways. A few days later we talked and she asked if i was mad at her or something. I said no, but it was a little hurtful to see you with that guy the whole time and that I thought over the last year that we were reconnecting slowly.... it definitely felt like that to me. She'd call me all the time late at night to chat, we texted a lot. Joked around and teased each other.

 

She ended up sending me back a message that said this.

 

"I do feel guilty, because i really enjoyed reconnecting but sometimes I am giving off the wrong impression or something perhaps. Basically, I liked talking again but I didn't have anything in mind so far, was just talking and hanging. I sincerely apologize that I was touchy when I was drunk that wasn't right of me if I wasn't going to follow through...but in my mind I was just having fun. I apologize. Seeing how you reacted at the festival when I was with that guy made it clear to me what you felt, but prior to the festival I had no idea.... so going into that festival it wasn't in mind to feel as though I shouldn't be doing that or that I should be better about it... if that makes sense. I'm really sorry if i upset you :("

 

Now i don't even know what to think... really... the whole year was nothing? absolutely nothing? god i feel like such an idiot. I feel completely blindsided... or maybe she was interested in me, but i just didn't take any iniitive to act interested back because i was trying to do the right thing..

Edited by TheSwarm
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