rainy_sun Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 (edited) Me and my long distance ex broke up mutually just over two months ago. We had both been unhappy for a couple of months but hadn't communicated it to each other. It was very sudden and neither of us had planned it, it was just the conclusion we came to after we had a long discussion about problems we were having in the relationship. Main issues: lack of intimacy/sex, co-dependent behaviour, unhappy when we were living together and physical distance. We had contact a few days after the breakup, we'd agree to a 5 days of no contact which I broke. I told her that I regretted the breakup and that I would really like to get back together. She told me that she didn't feel like she was 'in love' with me any more and felt like she loved me more like a friend and that she didn't want to get back together. I was a bit of an emotional mess and kept her on the line even though she wanted to hang up. I regret doing this but I wasn't emotionally myself. I'm scared that this messed things up as she probably remembers this. I suggested we go no contact and told her not to contact me and not respond if I contact her (at her discretion), she hasn't since the last time we spoke (no breadcrumbs either). I'm wondering now if it's possible that her feelings could have changed and that by telling her to do this I've sabotaged any chance of us getting back together. I unfriended her on all social media and deleted her number. I also blocked her on Facebook for a brief period and then unblocked her. Is it stupid to break no contact now and ask if anything's changed? It just feels like we rushed into breaking up and maybe we could of worked things out if we tried. I know that would require effort on her part and that she felt it was the right decision for her but maybe things have changed? I know that she would have to be the one that wants reconciliation but maybe she's afraid to contact me because I requested her not to? Edited July 7, 2014 by rainy_sun Link to post Share on other sites
SteakandSalad Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Don't beat yourself up about keeping her on the line. We've all done that. You haven't sabotaged it. If she wants to get back with you, she will. Nothing will stop her. You can break NC if you like, but I doubt after two months her feelings of friendship will have evolved to love again, but if you feel like you will regret it then do it. If nothing has changed, go NC again and then let her come to you. If anything NC will help you think clearer and give her space to miss you. Best wishes. You're not alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovemeagain Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Oh gosh I know what you are going through. I was an emotional mess, too. I was so pathetic and begged and begged and cried my eyes out wanting my ex to change his mind and stay with me. I could tell that he wanted to just hang up the phone and he was getting irritated and then when we finally did hang up I called again the next day. Looking back on it now I regret doing all of those things but I was so distraught and I felt like my life was over. The pain of it all was so bad and there was nothing that was going to make it better unless he was with me. I am still waiting to see if he will contact me. It's been 18 days and counting. Good luck to you and your ex. I don't know if you should break NC though. You should probably give her, her space and wait until she is ready to talk to you. I know that is easier said than done. Every day is like a month has gone by for me. Link to post Share on other sites
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