confuzzled38 Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Hi guys, I'm new here and hope I can find some help or at least sound advice....at this point I'm going nuts and don't know what I should do... Some background information I was with this guy for a year he met my family and I met his family....He was living with his aunt who was put into a nursing home after which he lost the apartment and his father offered him to come down to FL to return to school. I thought it was a good idea...I went to visit him while he was there settling in and it was a terrible visit because his father had told him he should not be in a relationship and should concentrate on school and a lot of things...he's a control freak....anyways he pushed me away and succeeded cause I broke up with him in Dec shortly after that visit... I changed my phone numbers and everything didn't want to hear from him...but in March I get a call at work from him that he's been extradited back to NY and is in a detention center here and wants me to visit him so he can explain further....he says he didn't do what they're saying he did....yet when do they ever say they did lol... Anyways he's been calling my job religiously weekly two or three times and this last phone call yesterday he read me the longest letter I've ever heard pouring his heart out, which isn't like him cause it's hard to express his emotions....and how he really wants me to visit him and he wishes we could be together again but if not at least be friends and that the ball is in my court.... What do you guys think about this??? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 i think you should hear what he has to say ,i think anyone on this planet deserves a chance to be heard and listened to with understanding and compassion , that doesn't mean marry him in a detention center, but hear him out.....make your own mind up after that by following your heart......deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Me thinks he's in trouble and has no one to turn to so now he's falling all over you. Funny how this revelations never came to him when he was with you or when you left him. Why would you want to take on more drama in your life with this guy? Yeah, it was hard for him to express his emotions then but now he's spewing? Trust me, when a guy wants to express himself, he can and he will. Don't go believing that just because he's doing it now, he's "feeling it". Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Um, yeah, visiting the convict ex-boyfriend in jail seems like a really, really bad idea. Huge red flags. Of course he "didn't do it," most convicts "didn't do it" if you ask them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confuzzled38 Posted July 4, 2014 Author Share Posted July 4, 2014 Thanks for those those replies....yea the whole idea of not even knowing what he did and visiting made me nervous as well...I don't like those kinds of surprises... and just clarification he had told me he loved me before but this letter he read was much more detailed taking about his issues with his family and so forth...he's been seeing a therapist in the detention center for the last six months...that's our tax money being put to use.... I just wasn't sure if he had a hidden agenda...and maybe your right he's just looking for someone to lean on cause he's feeling lonely.... Link to post Share on other sites
Glinda.Good Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Well … if you felt you had reason enough to break up with him when he was a free man, I don't think that him being in jail is a great reason to reconsider. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Thanks for those those replies....yea the whole idea of not even knowing what he did and visiting made me nervous as well...I don't like those kinds of surprises... and just clarification he had told me he loved me before but this letter he read was much more detailed taking about his issues with his family and so forth...he's been seeing a therapist in the detention center for the last six months...that's our tax money being put to use.... I just wasn't sure if he had a hidden agenda...and maybe your right he's just looking for someone to lean on cause he's feeling lonely.... Yep, talking to an ex-girlfriend that he dumped that is still on the hook beats other jail-type activities I'm guessing. If I were him, I'd rather talk to you (even if I wouldn't date you again) than avoiding fights and gang rape from other inmates. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confuzzled38 Posted July 4, 2014 Author Share Posted July 4, 2014 that makes a lot of sense glinda.... now if I could figure out how to block his call at my job...I work at a bank and these calls are very disruptive.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author confuzzled38 Posted July 4, 2014 Author Share Posted July 4, 2014 Yep, talking to an ex-girlfriend that he dumped that is still on the hook beats other jail-type activities I'm guessing. If I were him, I'd rather talk to you (even if I wouldn't date you again) than avoiding fights and gang rape from other inmates. yes I can see how this is a better way for him to spend his time....lol...correction though I broke up with him....and I don't know if I would consider myself fully on his hook cause I don't feel anything when he calls me the only reason I even thought of visiting was cause I thought I might get some clarification on things, but now I see that's a terrible idea thanks everyone.... Link to post Share on other sites
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