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LOA He showed up and now he's gone :(


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Hey all. I found this forum and like all of you, come here for support and community during quite a difficult chapter in my life.

 

A guy I was with broke up with me 2/12 weeks ago (5 month relationship dealio). It was actually because we were technically in a relationship,(when we were actually in a monogamous relationship, he treated me well, I met his family etc etc) but he didn't want to put a label on it. He said he wanted to take it slow but I received a lot of pressure from friends saying that if he didn't want to commit to me straight away then he doesn't really like me.

 

When I asked him where it was going, (knowing full well from the beginning he had demons and difficulties he had to face) he cut ties and said he couldn't commit to me and that he was trying to work himself out. He said he never asked to meet me and can't help that any of this happened that it was just bad timing (this was before he went cold prior to breaking it off with me and then denying or trying to avoid talking about his feelings towards me).

 

I know some people will give the response of "well if he doesn't want to commit to you then why do you want him?" The answer is because despite the label we did actually have something really amazing and real and we both had genuine feelings for each other. He told me I was the only person who he could be himself around and who he could talk to. We also had so many weird synchronistic moments.

 

Before he showed up in my life I didn't even want a relationship again, but I wrote a list down of everything I wanted in someone and well... He showed up. I guess it wasn't the right time or something.

 

Anyway, we are currently not really talking. He's contacted me (via text) about some work he's referred me for (we're in the same industry) and told me that we might have to work together in a few months and asked me if I'm okay with that. Other than that he's been really cold and distant and as I mentioned, we aren't talking...

 

I'd really like it if we could try again in the future. I'm not sure how possible that is when I am sometimes really sad and cut up and other times I just immerse myself in whatever I am doing any try to forget about him for awhile.

 

I hope that makes sense. I'd really like to try and work it out but I have a gut feeling that right now I have to just try and let it be and let go. Any input?

Edited by IOwnThat
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ThorntonMelon

It seems from this post that you know what you have to do - the issue is that you're emotionally unable to do so. From the outside, it seems obvious that whether it was cold feet or he just wasn't that into you, or for whatever reason, he's not interested in you. If he was, you wouldn't be posting about it.

 

As sad as it likely is for you to read this, there is NOTHING right now for you to try and save. If something is going to happen in the future, it has nothing at all to do with how you behave right now.

 

I look forward to when you view him as nothing more than a distant memory, one with good parts and bad parts, but not any kind of priority.

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