heart12 Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 There were long stares into each others eyes Her taking and holding my hand numerous times Talking about how good we were and things we had to work out but that we needed the year break. Then there was also a "I love you and hope you're always in my life" which to me = friend zone. Link to post Share on other sites
mangetout Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Why do you think that? Sounds like she wants to try again Link to post Share on other sites
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 No not friendzone i think that is exactly how I would react in the situation (if I wanted to try again) both of you will be unsure now its been a long time but this definitely seems like a sign she would like to possibly reconcile x Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Id say not friendzone at all. Link to post Share on other sites
DArtagnan2 Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 If I can give you any advice in thinking about, wanting to or trying to date an ex, you need to remember why you two broke up in the first place. Not often, things will change. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heart12 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 The thing is we discussed all our issues at dinner and things we've been able to work out for ourselves in the past year. When I dropped her off she said something along the lines of "ya so lets go for dinner again, umm (hesitating) any time you want actually." I just feel like saying I love you after a year apart can ONLY be as a friend because you wouldn't say it so soon otherwise. She also talked a lot about my dating life and saying things like I'll find the perfect person. Then would flip back to talking about us again and how sometimes people just need a break. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heart12 Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 and then I message her today and she doesn't even answer lol unreal Link to post Share on other sites
DArtagnan2 Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I am not surprised, but hope will give someone a reason to be surprised. My guess is she is not responding because it is the weekend and she fears you will ask to do something. She is most likely wanting to keep her options open of the weekend or already has plans. People are ex's for a reason. (in most cases) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kid_Charlemange Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 Then there was also a "I love you and hope you're always in my life" which to me = friend zone. That's not what I read from this. Quite the contrary. Friend zone usually consists of things like "You're a great guy, and I want you to be happy some day" or, more often, the actual word "friend." (I know this because I've been friendzoned so many times, I could write a book about it. Maybe I will) It's not a lot of data to work with, but, Christ on a sidecar, if my ex had ever said this to me, my smile would be so big my head would fall off... Saw your later post about her not responding -- don't sweat that. She's on an emotional roller-coaster right now, and probably thinks she said too much. You've been apart a year; a couple days isn't a big deal. The question is: Do you want her back? Link to post Share on other sites
Author heart12 Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 I am not surprised, but hope will give someone a reason to be surprised. My guess is she is not responding because it is the weekend and she fears you will ask to do something. She is most likely wanting to keep her options open of the weekend or already has plans. People are ex's for a reason. (in most cases) I don't think this.. she knows I know we can't do anything this weekend. Besides my message didn't mention hanging out but she had already told me she was busy all weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heart12 Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 That's not what I read from this. Quite the contrary. Friend zone usually consists of things like "You're a great guy, and I want you to be happy some day" or, more often, the actual word "friend." (I know this because I've been friendzoned so many times, I could write a book about it. Maybe I will) It's not a lot of data to work with, but, Christ on a sidecar, if my ex had ever said this to me, my smile would be so big my head would fall off... Saw your later post about her not responding -- don't sweat that. She's on an emotional roller-coaster right now, and probably thinks she said too much. You've been apart a year; a couple days isn't a big deal. The question is: Do you want her back? I was maybe on the fence before but I'm not anymore. I most definitely want to give it another go. I plan to tell her as much next time I see her. Link to post Share on other sites
Kid_Charlemange Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I was maybe on the fence before but I'm not anymore. I most definitely want to give it another go. I plan to tell her as much next time I see her. Well decisiveness is a virtue, but I urge you to take a little time. Maybe 30 days is too much (it doesn't seem that long when you get older) But maybe a week? Give yourself time to think this through. Whatever you decide, good luck -- and please, don't be the one to make accommodations. You are not the Bad Guy here. She needs to prove to you that she is aware of how much pain she's caused, that this can never happen again, and that she needs to be the one who works hard on this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
DArtagnan2 Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I was maybe on the fence before but I'm not anymore. I most definitely want to give it another go. I plan to tell her as much next time I see her. if she was busy this weekend, then why are you upset she isn't responding to your text? Your last response says it all. When you want to give it a go, no matter what anyone says, you will hang on to the hopefulness and the messages of those that support that. Good luck. I do hope you two can work it out, but again, remember why you were ex's in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heart12 Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 if she was busy this weekend, then why are you upset she isn't responding to your text? Your last response says it all. When you want to give it a go, no matter what anyone says, you will hang on to the hopefulness and the messages of those that support that. Good luck. I do hope you two can work it out, but again, remember why you were ex's in the first place. I'm disappointed because she simply didn't answer... I wasn't asking her for plans this weekend. Also because after she answered I was going to ask her to do something Monday (when we were originally going for dinner before we moved it up to this past Wednesday). We did a lot of talking about "us" over dinner and a lot was said about sometimes people just need a break or time apart for themselves to be more ready. She said something about us not working out the '1st' time but does that mean there's a 2nd time or the 2nd time = as friends. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 I'm disappointed because she simply didn't answer... I wasn't asking her for plans this weekend. Also because after she answered I was going to ask her to do something Monday (when we were originally going for dinner before we moved it up to this past Wednesday). We did a lot of talking about "us" over dinner and a lot was said about sometimes people just need a break or time apart for themselves to be more ready. She said something about us not working out the '1st' time but does that mean there's a 2nd time or the 2nd time = as friends. Take it slow man, very slow. Don't blow up her phone. Don't keep asking her out so much. Think of your date as a first date with someone new. Would you be contacting them so much in the beginning? You're in a delicate situation, don't push. Be cool. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author heart12 Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 I might contact someone new a couple days after the first date to start setting up the 2nd date... I didn't blow up her phone at all. I sent 1 innocent little message. That's it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heart12 Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 She finally answered btw... "XXX you are such a sweet and special person.I had a really amazing time with you too and I want to see you again soon! You rock" Kind of "friend' like but she is the type to say something like that I guess. Still can't figure it out. Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 The thing is we discussed all our issues at dinner and things we've been able to work out for ourselves in the past year. When I dropped her off she said something along the lines of "ya so lets go for dinner again, umm (hesitating) any time you want actually." I just feel like saying I love you after a year apart can ONLY be as a friend because you wouldn't say it so soon otherwise. She also talked a lot about my dating life and saying things like I'll find the perfect person. Then would flip back to talking about us again and how sometimes people just need a break. She's just feeling you out. This is the way we roll. She's trying to see how you respond so she knows where she stands. Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 She finally answered btw... "XXX you are such a sweet and special person.I had a really amazing time with you too and I want to see you again soon! You rock" Kind of "friend' like but she is the type to say something like that I guess. Still can't figure it out. There is nothing wrong with this. This is fun and flirty. You should see this as starting over completely. This is how girls and guys interact when they first meet...when it's fun and new. That's the best stage. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Take it slow man, very slow. Don't blow up her phone. Don't keep asking her out so much. Think of your date as a first date with someone new. Would you be contacting them so much in the beginning? You're in a delicate situation, don't push. Be cool. This is GREAT advice. I completely agree. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 She finally answered btw... "XXX you are such a sweet and special person.I had a really amazing time with you too and I want to see you again soon! You rock" Kind of "friend' like but she is the type to say something like that I guess. Still can't figure it out. Doesn't sound like a friend vibe to me. Stop analyzing and just go with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KaliLove Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 I'm not sure..I think it could go either way. Just take it slowly and be very cautious. Don't go blurting everything out the next time you see her..you'll scare her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 You really need to stop overanalyzing. You are going to scare away a beautiful baby if you keep second-guessing everything. If this was a girl you've never dated before, would you be nearly this neurotic and paranoid? If this is going to work, then you have to treat it like a new relationship. Chill out, live your life and be casual and fun. I'm afraid you aren't ready for all of this if you are freaking out about things that seem pretty positive. Take a break, meet up with some guy friends, grab a drink and chill. Stop trying to figure it out -- just let it happen. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author heart12 Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 You are so correct... and I have been doing that. If it was a new relationship I wouldn't be this crazy because I wouldn't care as much but I really want things to go well here. I think if I take it slow, keep being the 'cool' guy I am with her and having fun then everything will fall into place. I just asked her if she wants to go for dinner Monday so we'll see what she says. Link to post Share on other sites
Stronger14 Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 What did you do since the breakup that led to a date with your ex? Did you go no contact? Did she break it and ask you out? How long after the breakup was this? Just curious what led up to the date Link to post Share on other sites
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