soccer467 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 We have almost been dating for a year. She was with one major guy before me who cheated on her. I am her second and she is my first, I love her so much. She said she would never ever cheat on me cause she knows what it feels like. However, last week she said we needed to have a talk and she told me my worst nightmare. She was at a party, got really drunk, and cheated on me... Caught me by total surprise because I never meet anyone who cares about me as much as she does. Her apology was very sympathetic and knows she ****ed up and regrets it. Its been a week since and we've been crying together 4 out of the last 7 days. It has been very painful. I broke up with her as soon as she told me. Normally I would just move on but the love she expresses for me is beyond words. Next year we will both be going to college and she even just signed a lease for an apartment and going to college next to me JUST FOR ME. I thought this was crazy. I thought about if i ever cheated on her i know i would want her to take me back. This has been so hard and I have been just so lost. I also have been thinking about getting with other girls, not to get back at her but to just experience what it is like since I have only had sex with just her and she has had sex with 3 guys now. Is this something I should talk to her about? I feel like she would be very upset at this... Link to post Share on other sites
Allyd12 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 she cheated man, what's there to say she wont do it again? it seems like your love for her is outweighing her love for you. yeah, life sucks sometimes and and so does love, it really hurts. i'm no expert but all she is looking for right now is your forgiveness and hope that you will take her back. if you did get back together, she will be relieved and have that worry taken off her chest. things will eventually go back to normal and who knows, she might get severely drunk at the next party she goes to? then your back in the same boat. cheating is not something that is not acceptable when under the influence of any substance. cheating is in the MIND of the person. when you really love someone, no matter how drunk or depressed or high you get, you wont let it happen. it's something that proves that just for that one moment in her life, she let all the feelings she had for you go away. stop and think. why would she do that? does she really love you? what kind of person is she? what you can do from here is your choice. and right now, your so emotional and all the feelings for her are going crazy. there is a chance you will make bad decisions, so think very very wisely and logically. how bad is she suffering from her mistake? maybe you need to go NC for a while and find out later how she is doing. if this has really knocked her around, you will know that you can give her a chance. if she forgets and moves on, you will know she didn't truly care. give her a taste of life without you. if i were you, i would be so ****ing angry that i would just leave her. for good. it's not acceptable in my eyes, it proves that the connection between you and her really isn't there. but do what you wish. i'm sorry to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 We have almost been dating for a year. She was with one major guy before me who cheated on her. I am her second and she is my first, I love her so much. She said she would never ever cheat on me cause she knows what it feels like. However, last week she said we needed to have a talk and she told me my worst nightmare. She was at a party, got really drunk, and cheated on me... Caught me by total surprise because I never meet anyone who cares about me as much as she does. Her apology was very sympathetic and knows she ****ed up and regrets it. Its been a week since and we've been crying together 4 out of the last 7 days. It has been very painful. I broke up with her as soon as she told me. Normally I would just move on but the love she expresses for me is beyond words. Next year we will both be going to college and she even just signed a lease for an apartment and going to college next to me JUST FOR ME. I thought this was crazy. I thought about if i ever cheated on her i know i would want her to take me back. This has been so hard and I have been just so lost. I also have been thinking about getting with other girls, not to get back at her but to just experience what it is like since I have only had sex with just her and she has had sex with 3 guys now. Is this something I should talk to her about? I feel like she would be very upset at this... Hi brother, my ex GF did and said just the same. Blaming alcohol is not right, she did it because she wanted to. Do you know what? She did it again after several months. So, do not forgive her, once they have done it they will do it again. People that cheat to their partners are selfish, only think for their needs and do not respect other people feelings. B/U and move on for good. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Giving her a second chance NOW won't work. She has learned nothing and it will likely be something that she will repeat. Why? She isn't accepting responsibility. "I was drunk" means its not my fault. Wrong. Secondly your doubting the relationship and thinking about other women. In time as your anger grows, and it will, and your young age you will fall to temptation. Stay broke up, go out and live your life, if its meant to be and she wants it bad enough she will fix her sh*t and make it happen. Link to post Share on other sites
kjackson1 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 She's using alcohol as a scapegoat instead of owning up to it. I think you should explore your options in the dating pool, she isn't worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
mangetout Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Never say never... So many people say they would never cheat and they do. So many people say they would leave their cheating partner and they don't. Nothing is black and white so in this instance its entirely up to you to decide whether she is worth it. Its not going to be easy for you if you break up or try and make it work. BUt! The fact that she told you says a lot. In my opinion serial cheaters do not tell their partner that they cheated. Its like a cry for help. She was disgusted with herself. That's clear. I would give her a second chance but don't make it easy for her. Let her know how much this has hurt you. And make very clear boundaries of what you expect off her because you will be riddled with triggers Link to post Share on other sites
mangetout Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 By the way. I wanted revenge when my partner cheated on me but I didn't do so. I am really proud of myself that I didn't because it made my partner look even worse and made me look extremely strong. Don't retaliate. You will regret it and it wont ease your pain. Link to post Share on other sites
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