Badlover Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 If there was a perfect man for me, I met him in December 2012. He was handsome beyond belief, hilarious, honored his mother and grandmother, and was very intellectually sharp. As soon as we met I realized our connection was second to nothing I'd ever experienced, we would stare into each-others eyes forever when out at restaurants to the point our waiters would have to remind us to eat, we could spend the whole day doing absolutely nothing together and it would be the most fulfilling event of my entire week. We loved each-other's families and spent quite some time with them, I even brought him to church with me. We seemed so different, but it was like we had the same spirit and the same heart, none of our differences were actually differences, they were simply what made us I individuals. Within three months I fell tragically in love with this man, harder than my very first love. No man had ever made me feel this way, I was even wanting to get sexually involved with him. He told me he loved me and we mad countless plans for our future, a good 10 years worth, he even mentioned marriage. Some where in month four things got complicated and he told me he wasn't the man I thought he was and that he couldn't give me what I deserved. He said he really cared for me and he hated doing this but he had to end our relationship. He never gave me a specific reason, just that he had some things he needed to work out within himself. I was completely shattered but I genuinely loved and respected him so I kept it classy and told him it was okay and let him be. He had been in a 6 year on again off again relationship and had just ended it when he met me I later found out. It was very complicated and both him and the ex had been arrested multiple times, cheated on each-other multiple times, and had absolute chaos throughout their relationship. He was also a bit of a party animal and got a few DUIs after a few reckless nights out. Literally a week after this gentleman and I broke up I moved out of state. He found out and was begging to see me before I left after over a week of no-contact. I agreed but a few hours before our date his grandfather unexpectedly died and we had to cancel. I left the state the next day to begin a new life. Throughout the entire time I've been gone he's consistently called, texted and FaceTimed me telling me he regrets letting me go, he thinks about me constantly, he wants a second chance, and he wishes we could be together. He's even told mutual friends of ours that he misses me and wishes I'd come back home. I went back home to visit a few weeks ago and he heard through social media and begged to see me, I declined because I am seeing someone new. However he got back with his ex and they got arrested a few more times in the meantime and he got another DUI. I ended up getting into a new relationship which began verbally abusive and has now turned physically abusive. My boyfriend has recently beaten me very badly and I'm still recovering. I told him about it and showed him pictures of what my boyfriend has done to me and he's very upset. He says he wishes I was there with him and that he could kill this crazy guy I'm with. He says to come home and that he'd never hurt me and he thinks of me all the time even after a whole year. I'm working on resolving this abusive situation I'm in and perhaps heading back to my home state, but I'm not sure if I should talk to my ex. I still love him very much and I think of him all the time. I still dream of him regularly and nobody has ever matched our connection. I would love to be with him but I just don't know. Do you think he's being sincere? Or am I a conquest because he's never had me sexually and I left? I'm so confused... Link to post Share on other sites
redbaron005 Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 I hope resolving the abusive situation involves dumping this guy and law enforcement involvement. I think the other guy sees someone he can protect and to some filling that role is attractive. You might want to consider taking time alone to sort your emotions out before thinking about jumping back to him. Link to post Share on other sites
flightplan Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 Your story is not one of love, but of dependence. You don't need a relationship of any kind right now. You need to sort yourself out and regain your self esteem and respect. The people you attract are a reflection of yourself. Learn self love and acceptance so that you can attract the kind of man that treats you with respect and dignity. Live life on your terms, undefined by a significant other. Be alone for a while. Learn about yourself and grow. Link to post Share on other sites
STM206 Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 I think the best thing you could do for yourself is recover from the abuse you have suffered through. Right now you're looking through rose tinted glasses in regards to this ex of yours... You see him as your savior so to speak. The fact that he has a history if getting arrested, even recently should be a red flag. Do you know WHY they got arrested? Link to post Share on other sites
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