Broke up need

[Crusader256]

It all started a few weeks ago, my girlfriend of 4 years and me broke up one night because she started an argument and left my house.. out of the blue. We did not talk for a few days, and when we did she wouldn't come over and lied about where she was. I found out a day later when she would finally come over i checked her phone and found the messages from another man talking about them etc.. She had left my house and went and hung out with him, she met him at a party and i did not know they exchanged numbers. She had slept with him and she still wont admit (even though i found intimate messages between them a week before we broke up) that they hooked up while we were together. So i am going off the assumption that the night she started the argument and left was the first time she slept with him.

 

So after all this i cut her off and she would not leave me alone, texting and calling me non stop for days until i finally a week later gave in and started talking to her again(the entire time she was dating this guy or w.e). So this past sunday i told her if she wanted to continue with me she had to cut all contact with him, she agreed and today i went to her house in the morning and asked her to show me the messages where she told him off and didnt want to talk to him anymore. She dodged it for 20 minutes and said she couldnt find her phone, she went to the bathroom and "found" it in there. Of course all messages were deleted.

 

Sunday night she said she had to go work on a project with her group, she came over after.. around 10 and we were getting intimate and her pussy was wet... very wet before i even did anything.. i don't know if that means anything but.. it seems like she was most likely with him. Monday morning i went to her house and asked to show the messages that showed her cutting him off and her group saying lets meet up, non existed. Monday night i went to the gym for about 3 hours and she said she was going to hang out with her friend, she didnt really text me back at all or about once an hour(which is what she does when she was with him before sunday when we decided to try again because he has no idea shes still talking to me so she hides her phone from him while shes with him). She came over after i went to the gym, we got intimate and again her pussy was wet without me even touching it or warming her up(so i guess she was with him again).

 

Earlier Monday she said some things to me here they are, " I don't want you going through my phone anymore" "I want to take things slow and not tell anyone we are together until we are ready" (w.e the **** that means) " I am scared i will hurt you again in the future so we have to take things slow" "I like him and dont want to hurt him but i love you and want to be with you" " I dont know what i want i know i want you but i like him". Well after all those scrambled messages came in i said Its either me or him im done asking you cheated on me and im giving you another chance because you wouldnt leave me alone and you dont know what you want? you text and call all the time and now that i give in you are confused?? Well after all those scrambled messages she finally said I want you and only you and seemingly everything was back to normal ( aside from her hiding her phone deleting messages(even though she says she deleted them sunday when she told him off) and the mixed signals).

 

I guess what i am asking is, what do i do? Do i cut her off? do i believe her? is she sleeping with this guy and then coming over? Even though she says they have quit talking? Should i contact the guy and ask him? should i ask her friend if she was with her for 3 hours while i was the gym? I am going crazy obviously and want the truth from her but she lied about him and now its hard to believe her when all these sketchy things are happening( wet pussy, i cant touch her phone etc..). I dont really care about her cheating on me i care about her lying about it, and saying she actually likes this **** up(hes a known drug addict who flunked out of college and cant get back in i knew him personally before all this). I want to be with her, even after she cheated but i am almost 100% certain she is playing both sides because of what she said about liking him and being confused yada yada yada even though i didnt do jack **** to cause this. Her excuse for all this was " i do not want to sit around all week and study its boring" well she found a guy that will party with her all week while im doing constructive **** like studying for school( i dont smoke weed or do pills like them both so i guess i am boring). Also another reason besides i am boring that we broke up is because i went through her phone, now i am being honest i would go through her phone only when she grabbed mine( we were both joking about it anyways) or when i wanted to play a game because i do not have a smart phone. She made a bunch of excuses why she did what she did but none of them applied to me it was like she was just making **** up, " you always go through my phone" (not even the truth) " you always argue with me" (again not really the case maybe once a month we get in a tiny argument usually over something retarded) I dont want the same relationship i want it to change. I said ok and we started talking sunday after she "cut him off" . etc etc

 

ugh so confused someone honestly answer me with what they think is going on.

 

Thank you,

Crusader.

[ashleymarierenaud]

As bad as this sounds I've done this before, to my first love. I don't know what was wrong with me at the moment.. I was young(still am) I wanted to experience other people, I finally started looking attractive and getting attention from others and I let it take the best of me. I played with my ex's heart REALLY bad. The whole first year I kept doing things like that like breaking up with him and doing stuff with other people then begging for him back. So I can tell you her perspective.. right now she doesn't realize how good you are for her.. she wants both experiences.. someone to love and freedom. So I will tell you what my ex did that changed my mind, he didn't take me back one time.. he completely cut me out of his life. I was DEVESTATED. I never knew I would care so much if he didn't take me back one day.. I didn't think it would be a big deal. But when I finally realized I couldn't have him I realized how much I ****ed up and terrible I was to him.. I also realized that life was him was better than anything else so I chased after him for a couple months and DID everything I mean everything to win him back.. I did eventually win him back. He told me if I ever did it again he'd be gone for good and all of this truly made me realize how much I loved him.. how much he meant to me. So when I got him back I changed, ALOT. I never did it again and I did everything for him I treated him wonderfully and tried to be the best girlfriend ever. It took him a while but we finally got things back to normal even better actually. But that died down he just broke up with me a couple months ago out of the blue and said he wasn't happy and that I cheated on him.. I cheated on him 2 years ago and became the best girlfriend ever. So my opinion is to cut things off and show her that she can't have you because she doesn't deserve you.. but do that for a while she will probably try and win you back if you guys have a serious relationship. When she does make it hard for her and let her know that if she does it again she can't have you. I don't know for sure if it will work on her.. but it probably will. It happened to me, but make sure you want her back. Make sure you can forgive her for her foolish mistakes if she does change so you do not break up with her 2 years later because of it.. I still regret what I've done to him to this day.

Edited April 22, 2014 by ashleymarierenaud

[No Limit]

Cut her off. She's playing with you, big time. And don't believe ever since you answered to her again that she ever stopped contact with the other guy, he was there all along.

 

She's a liar and cheater. Nothing worth to keep.

[Darren Steez]

Read the first half paragraph and gave up.

 

Do yourself a favor. She's sleeping with some random guy then sleeping with you. Disease you risk yourself. That's kind of gross. Lose her number, she's no good.

[Crusader256]

Yeah, actually her friend called and told me that she called her and told her if i ask to tell me they hung out while i was at the gym. Didn't expect that at all, i figured i would have to call her but thank god her friend wouldn't do that so i cut her off for good. Thank you for the replies.