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I need male opinions...

 

My ex and i recently reconnected after about 6 months of breaking up and 2 months no contact. He had broken it off for many reasons, mainly too much fighting. He is the one who came back out of nowhere and said he missed me. I had given up on him after billions of attempts to get him back. Now we seem to get along better, we argue from time to time for similar things we used to, he always says its mostly me overreacting. He doesn't want to get back together yet. He says he needs time and that i need to be patient and stop pressuring him so much. He isnt sure he wants to get married or have kids either that was another issue we had. We hang out like when we were together, he spends nights at my place says he loves me, but he needs time. He is making plans with a guy friend of his to get a place together. So it makes me sadder that he won't want to live with me, but I have to understand. I confronted him several times saying that he wants me on the side but to have his single life too, he says its not that, but he needs to figure what he wants in life too. I just feel it a little unfair to for me to be here letting him back in my life waiting and what if he decides to leave again. Men, what is going on in that head of his??

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Grumpybutfun

Nothing has changed except he wants to have you and wants the issues you have to magically disappear due to feelings. They won't. Nothing has changed. Move on because you have the same issues and some of them such as marriage and children are deal breakers. You have resolved nothing so you will move in the same circles changing nothing and wasting your time and energy on fairytales and wishes.

Move on,

Grumps

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A couple of questions, as I couldn't find the answers in past postings:

 

1. How old are you and erstwhile exBF?

 

2. After 'reconnecting', are you dating as if in a new experience or did you just fall back into the old relationship/sexual patterns?

 

IMO, it's probably smart that you and he do not live together until a synergistic view of your future together is agreed upon. Considering the past circumstances, progressing as a 'new page' would be my advice. No rush, especially if you're young.

 

Disclaimer: Old fart male.

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To answer your questions....

 

A couple of questions, as I couldn't find the answers in past postings:

 

1. How old are you and erstwhile exBF?

 

I am 25 and he is 30. We've been dating for a year and half on and off.

 

2. After 'reconnecting', are you dating as if in a new experience or did you just fall back into the old relationship/sexual patterns?

We pretty much fell back into our old routines while being together.

 

 

 

Disclaimer: Old fart male.

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I need male opinions...

 

My ex and i recently reconnected after about 6 months of breaking up and 2 months no contact. He had broken it off for many reasons, mainly too much fighting. He is the one who came back out of nowhere and said he missed me. I had given up on him after billions of attempts to get him back. Now we seem to get along better, we argue from time to time for similar things we used to, he always says its mostly me overreacting. He doesn't want to get back together yet. He says he needs time and that i need to be patient and stop pressuring him so much. He isnt sure he wants to get married or have kids either that was another issue we had. We hang out like when we were together, he spends nights at my place says he loves me, but he needs time. He is making plans with a guy friend of his to get a place together. So it makes me sadder that he won't want to live with me, but I have to understand. I confronted him several times saying that he wants me on the side but to have his single life too, he says its not that, but he needs to figure what he wants in life too. I just feel it a little unfair to for me to be here letting him back in my life waiting and what if he decides to leave again. Men, what is going on in that head of his??

 

Seems like a classic case of "I want the cake and eat it too". I know you want male opinions.. but from what you said of his actions.. move on.. you stick around and keep begging him, basically.. and how has it been working for you so far?..

 

It's easy to say "I love you", for me it's how the guy acts that tells me if he loves me or not. Not just the fact that he says so.

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If you want it straight, here it is... he's waiting for something better to float his boat. He digs you, likes hanging with you, loves the sex, buutttt... he does not adore you. I promise you, if he found a connection with someone else that made him feel over the moon, ready to take a bullet, crawl through glass to capture her heart.... you wouldn't be hearing this nonsense about being patient, need to figure things out, bull****. I've quoted Picasso before but it's true... there are two kinds of women... goddesses and doormats. You can choose which one you want to be.

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