Tommyboy1987 Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 My ex-girlfriend (together for 2 years) and former love of my life is back in my life. She recently moved to the same city that I live in to continue her education. Unfortunately, that is not the only reason she moved here. She is currently in a long distance relationship with a man who is supposed to move up with her in the near future (he was supposed to move up last year, but changed his mind). They have been together for the past 3 years and it seems to be serious, but he will not move up here and she wont move completely down there. The area we are in now is the furthest she will go to meet him. Anyways, we have been spending a lot of time together. I have always loved this girl and truly believe that this is the woman that I am supposed to marry. She was the one that got away. It is random that we were both brought to the same city when part of the reason it didn't work out was distance (and also I was a jerk when we were younger). This is who I want. How do I go about getting her back? My questions are these: 1) When do I make my move? We were actually drinking the other night and she offered to let me stay at her place so I didn't have to drive. I opted to go home. I did not want to come off as desperate bc I know that's a turnoff to her. I hope I didn't blow my chance. 2)How do I go about this? Do I put the other guy down bc he is too afraid to move up here? Do I make myself sound better than the other guy? How do I show that I am no longer a jerk and would make a better partner than the one she already has. By the way, I have a better job and am more physically attractive (her words). This obviously isn't enough so I need more ammo. 3) What are some signs that I need to pay attention to that she may be interested in not being just friends? What is the signal that a woman would give in this situation. I don't want to mess this up. She is not telling her bf about us hanging out. Whenever he calls she goes to the other room or outside and doesn't mention my name. Obviously if this were innocent she would say hey I am just chilling with my friend "Tommyboy1987". Any opinions would help. tl;dr My ex lives in same city as me, but is in relationship with another man who lives far away. How do I get her back? Link to post Share on other sites
Salvatore85 Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Let it go mate. I know it's rough but put yourself in his shoes and imagine how you would feel if someone was plotting to steal your girlfriend. Speaking from experience being in a long-distance relationship is extremely tough without the added stress of someone trying to mess things up. It sucks but it's time to find the right person for you and unfortunately mate, it's not your ex. I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 There's no move to make. She's with someone else. I mean, just because she's in the same city does not mean you are forced to hang out -- in fact, if I were you I'd hang out with her a lot less, if not at all. But yeah, unless you are cool with being her buddy (which you clearly aren't) you need to back the hell off. You are going down a painful road otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
InnocentMan Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 All's fair in love and war. I wouldn't criticise her new bf, or relationship too much, even if she asks your opinion. Just stay neutral, and continue the act of just being friends. It's only a matter of time before they argue on Skype about some crap, and you'll be the one she turns to. It should be a slam dunk if you play your cards right. Link to post Share on other sites
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