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LifeGoesOnMan

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THis is basically parroting the No Contact Guide - why not just have that as your signature....? :confused:

 

Really...I'm just asking....

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LifeGoesOnMan
THis is basically parroting the No Contact Guide - why not just have that as your signature....? :confused:

 

Really...I'm just asking....

 

 

lol I just wanted to say it in my own words, i know its all covered in there already, but it feels good to finally realize it.

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LifeGoesOnMan
So are you back together with your ex?

 

I was wondering what had happened to you.

 

 

 

well believe it or not, we were back together for awhile, even went on vacation together (cancun), and i decided to end it recently because it just didn't feel the same anymore, felt like a lot more baggage with what had happened and the history between us, i just didn't want to do it anymore.

 

 

was fun while it lasted and glad i did it tho, it just is what it is.

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well believe it or not, we were back together for awhile, even went on vacation together (cancun), and i decided to end it recently because it just didn't feel the same anymore, felt like a lot more baggage with what had happened and the history between us, i just didn't want to do it anymore.

 

 

was fun while it lasted and glad i did it tho, it just is what it is.

 

Well, I'm glad to hear back from you. So you ended up breaking up with her this time? How did she react? I think it wound be hard to trust again after its been broken like that. Especially if the couple was together a substantial amount of time. I don't know that I could get past it.

 

I used to wish my ex would come back, but I realized it wouldn't work most likely. I just couldn't trust him. It seems like you are in a good place though.

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LifeGoesOnMan
Well, I'm glad to hear back from you. So you ended up breaking up with her this time? How did she react? I think it wound be hard to trust again after its been broken like that. Especially if the couple was together a substantial amount of time. I don't know that I could get past it.

 

I used to wish my ex would come back, but I realized it wouldn't work most likely. I just couldn't trust him. It seems like you are in a good place though.

 

 

 

thanks! its good to be back, in some ways lol even tho I am in a totally different place now then a few months ago.

 

 

and to be honest, it really never felt the same or very sincere since we took another shot at it.

 

 

I mean everything was there, but the innocence was gone.

 

 

I really didn't trust her or believe anything she said she was doing, and we were also living apart after living together for 5 years... I was always wondering what she was really doing and it just felt like a burden.

 

 

and to be honest, I don't think she was expecting it, but I also don't think she was 100% feeling it either, so I just told her it wasn't the same, & I didn't want to do this anymore and I wished her the best of luck.

 

 

she kinda didn't react much to it and we haven't talked since, im sure she was hurt a bit but eh that's life.

 

 

cant say i'm over her, probably never totally will be, but i can say im ready to move on with my life, so that's what im doing.

 

 

and that's what I hoped to help other people do too with this thread, with the chance of reconciliation still there. hope it helps.

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It's amazing the difference a few months can make. I know I am miles away from where I was even one month ago.

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I can relate to the bolded sentences :(

 

Thanks for coming back and letting us know how you're doing!!

 

 

thanks! its good to be back, in some ways lol even tho I am in a totally different place now then a few months ago.

 

 

and to be honest, it really never felt the same or very sincere since we took another shot at it.

 

I mean everything was there, but the innocence was gone.

 

I really didn't trust her or believe anything she said she was doing, and we were also living apart after living together for 5 years... I was always wondering what she was really doing and it just felt like a burden.

 

 

and to be honest, I don't think she was expecting it, but I also don't think she was 100% feeling it either, so I just told her it wasn't the same, & I didn't want to do this anymore and I wished her the best of luck.

 

 

she kinda didn't react much to it and we haven't talked since, im sure she was hurt a bit but eh that's life.

 

 

cant say i'm over her, probably never totally will be, but i can say im ready to move on with my life, so that's what im doing.

 

 

and that's what I hoped to help other people do too with this thread, with the chance of reconciliation still there. hope it helps.

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....

 

Here's an interesting twist to all this advice.

 

What if you work with them? Maybe not directly, but within the same confines? What then?

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THis is basically parroting the No Contact Guide - why not just have that as your signature....? :confused:

 

Really...I'm just asking....

 

Maybe because some people don't actually SEARCH to see if this information has already be discussed in depth ;)

 

The whole point of me writing the guides I wrote and the ones you wrote was to give people a place to start.

 

I'm not offended by the OP -- I just hope newbs do some searching first!

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LifeGoesOnMan
....

 

Here's an interesting twist to all this advice.

 

What if you work with them? Maybe not directly, but within the same confines? What then?

 

Funny you should ask, that was my dilemma as well, I worked & lived with my ex for 5 years, in an office, about 10ft away from each other, and to be completely honest, you still have to stick to your guns.

 

You don’t talk to them, look at them, unless you absolutely have to and that’s only when its of the professional nature.

 

If they reach out to you, short & sweet or no reply.

 

I did over 40 days no contact, while seeing my ex every single day, until she cracked and sent me a novel of an email apologizing for everything and wanting to work things out

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LifeGoesOnMan
basically, if you want them back, get to a place you dont want them back

 

 

 

yup, but you're kidding yourself if you don't think your going to want them back the second they contact you.

 

 

it's more of an illusion you have to pull off, appearing as if they have "lost you" if you really want them back, by sticking to no contact and making them work for it, to show you how invested they are.

 

otherwise you have to go into it, really wanting to "move on".

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LifeGoesOnMan
Maybe because some people don't actually SEARCH to see if this information has already be discussed in depth ;)

 

The whole point of me writing the guides I wrote and the ones you wrote was to give people a place to start.

 

I'm not offended by the OP -- I just hope newbs do some searching first!

 

 

 

I did read both your original guide and tara's updated version, but to be 100% honest, this whole thread has come from personal experience.

 

 

I know it was all there in front of me to begin with, and could have saved myself a lot of misery if I had stuck to it from the get go.

 

 

however you really don't understand lessons like these until you go through it on your own, as im sure a majority of people on here have themselves, despite everyone telling you what you should do lol

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Funny you should ask, that was my dilemma as well, I worked & lived with my ex for 5 years, in an office, about 10ft away from each other, and to be completely honest, you still have to stick to your guns.

 

You don’t talk to them, look at them, unless you absolutely have to and that’s only when its of the professional nature.

 

If they reach out to you, short & sweet or no reply.

 

I did over 40 days no contact, while seeing my ex every single day, until she cracked and sent me a novel of an email apologizing for everything and wanting to work things out

 

I dumped. A week later i reneged. Was working out until all the resent was laid on the table, or rather over the phone, by me. Then, nc for two weeks. Then another two and dropped the question (last ditch effort). No luck. Nc since then, total of ~75 days now. She did drop a happy birthday hope all is well at about a month into nc, think maybe cause her rebound broke. I didnt read into it and replied 'thanks.'. I dont think itll work out, shes been said to be rounding the other office desperately seeking some tlc (or actually just filling the void). Ive been labeled 'capt save a ho'... Sucks.

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Yes, I know, it sounds counterproductive, but anything and everything you do other than moving on with set you back or permanently kill your chances of ever getting your ex back, EVER!

I can attest to that.

 

Here is my proof of what trying to maintain contact with my ex has accomplished. From an email she sent me.

Don't you understand that not giving it any space from the time I broke up with you, destroyed any possibility of being friends.

You kept asking me why, why, why, over and over and over again. And kept wanting to continue to talk about it. And I told you over and over again that I cannot be the person you talk to about this, then after that one night you went off on me. I was done.

 

I should have went no contact with her. Maybe she would have reached out to me down the line. But because of me being stupid, I made sure it will never happen.

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LifeGoesOnMan
I dumped. A week later i reneged. Was working out until all the resent was laid on the table, or rather over the phone, by me. Then, nc for two weeks. Then another two and dropped the question (last ditch effort). No luck. Nc since then, total of ~75 days now. She did drop a happy birthday hope all is well at about a month into nc, think maybe cause her rebound broke. I didnt read into it and replied 'thanks.'. I dont think itll work out, shes been said to be rounding the other office desperately seeking some tlc (or actually just filling the void). Ive been labeled 'capt save a ho'... Sucks.

 

 

 

when you say you dumped, you mean you dumped her?

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LifeGoesOnMan
I can attest to that.

 

Here is my proof of what trying to maintain contact with my ex has accomplished. From an email she sent me.

Don't you understand that not giving it any space from the time I broke up with you, destroyed any possibility of being friends.

You kept asking me why, why, why, over and over and over again. And kept wanting to continue to talk about it. And I told you over and over again that I cannot be the person you talk to about this, then after that one night you went off on me. I was done.

 

I should have went no contact with her. Maybe she would have reached out to me down the line. But because of me being stupid, I made sure it will never happen.

 

 

 

stay NO CONTACT, regain your self-respect & dignity for now.

 

 

to be honest dude, you cant believe ANYTHING a girl says during emotional turmoil..

 

 

heres why:

 

 

girls think with emotion, guys think with logic. your logical thinking does nothing for her emotions, as you can see from her response to you, because the way you acted tired up negative emotions, she was emotional when writing it, you can even see it in the words.

 

 

because of a women's use of emotions in decision making you came off as a needy, desperate, unattractive dude when you pulled that stuff.

 

 

the good news is, because a women's emotions are so up and down and all over the place, everything she said in that response doesn't mean sh*t in the long run.

 

 

they don't stick to their words is what im saying, and now you need to let it cool... for months.

(my ex told me multiple times it was "over", however multiple times after that, she emailed me/messaged me, wanting to work things out)

 

 

stay no contact, & wait. but don't "wait" for say, move on with your life.

 

 

if its meant to be, it will be.

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stay NO CONTACT, regain your self-respect & dignity for now.

 

 

to be honest dude, you cant believe ANYTHING a girl says during emotional turmoil..

 

 

heres why:

 

 

girls think with emotion, guys think with logic. your logical thinking does nothing for her emotions, as you can see from her response to you, because the way you acted tired up negative emotions, she was emotional when writing it, you can even see it in the words.

 

 

because of a women's use of emotions in decision making you came off as a needy, desperate, unattractive dude when you pulled that stuff.

 

 

the good news is, because a women's emotions are so up and down and all over the place, everything she said in that response doesn't mean sh*t in the long run.

 

 

they don't stick to their words is what im saying, and now you need to let it cool... for months.

(my ex told me multiple times it was "over", however multiple times after that, she emailed me/messaged me, wanting to work things out)

 

 

stay no contact, & wait. but don't "wait" for say, move on with your life.

 

 

if its meant to be, it will be.

While I would like to believe what you say, she dumped me just about three months ago I don't see her changing her mind. Not once has she ever initiated contact, probably because I contacted her every two to three weeks.

 

Though yes, I won't contact her anymore and I deleted her number from my phone, even though she blocked me. Of course she has several ways to get in touch with me if she wanted to.

 

I will be moving on with my life, it's all I can do.

 

If she ever does contact me again, I will be surprised.

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LifeGoesOnMan
While I would like to believe what you say, she dumped me just about three months ago I don't see her changing her mind. Not once has she ever initiated contact, probably because I contacted her every two to three weeks.

 

Though yes, I won't contact her anymore and I deleted her number from my phone, even though she blocked me. Of course she has several ways to get in touch with me if she wanted to.

 

I will be moving on with my life, it's all I can do.

 

If she ever does contact me again, I will be surprised.

 

 

 

you'd be surprised how many other people (including myself) thought that same thing ;)

 

 

however, stick to your guns man, there is nothing you can do, but you!

 

 

was it a LTR?

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