can my fiancee return back to me?

[jeetendra555]

First of all my English is not good, so m putting my question as I can.

 

I met 1 girl (age 31) (my age 35) through matrimonial site, our marriage date was also fixed, we were together for 1 year.

 

She also told me about her past relationship, which lasted for 3 years, but her ex fiance was not mentally prepared to marry her, so after trying hard she finally decided to leave him, and then she met me,

 

during our relationship she really loved me, but after some time, gradually she lost respect & feelings for me, then said she is confused.

 

I did the mistake by pleading her, by asking her questions, sent many mails, texts etc, to which she got irritated & completely closed all contacts with me, also blocked me on fb & started putting pictures in which she looked happy, picnic photos & etc...

 

then after few days she called me & told me that she is back with her ex, and really talked rudely with me,as if she has nothing to do with me, I was shocked & hurt, still cant figure out how can she behave like this with me when she knows how much i loved her, anyways

 

now it has been 5 months but her ex fiance still not ready to marry her, & she is just hoping that he will marry her 1 day or may be not.

 

so my question is can she return back to me?

 

& 1 more thing, now also I text her once in a week, in which some time i say her that can we speak or plz can we discuss & re-think, or some nice message through which she can know i am there for her,

 

I can text her but she dont reply to my text & also dont say stop sending text to her, so I am really confused.

 

plz if some one can guide me, especially girls if you can guide me on this. she is my first love,

Edited January 12, 2014 by jeetendra555

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

You need to let this go. She's not coming back. She is hoping to marry someone else? Why would you continue to try and get her back?

 

Stop texting, calling, whatever. Do not contact her again and move on with your life. Do you really want to marry someone that would treat you like that?

[jeetendra555]

Thanks for yr reply Smthn_Like_Olivia, & i know you are saying right,

but some how I cant understand, that when she knows there is no future with her ex fiance,

& here I was ready to do anything, i wanted to give her a settled life, a stability &great future, & this is what she was looking for, which her ex fiance never gave her,

& she know I loved her more then anything,

 

 

[Fufu]

First of all my English is not good, so m putting my question as I can.

 

I met 1 girl (age 31) (my age 35) through matrimonial site, our marriage date was also fixed, we were together for 1 year.

 

She also told me about her past relationship, which lasted for 3 years, but her ex fiance was not mentally prepared to marry her, so after trying hard she finally decided to leave him, and then she met me,

 

during our relationship she really loved me, but after some time, gradually she lost respect & feelings for me, then said she is confused.

 

I did the mistake by pleading her, by asking her questions, sent many mails, texts etc, to which she got irritated & completely closed all contacts with me, also blocked me on fb & started putting pictures in which she looked happy, picnic photos & etc...

 

then after few days she called me & told me that she is back with her ex, and really talked rudely with me,as if she has nothing to do with me, I was shocked & hurt, still cant figure out how can she behave like this with me when she knows how much i loved her, anyways

 

now it has been 5 months but her ex fiance still not ready to marry her, & she is just hoping that he will marry her 1 day or may be not.

 

so my question is can she return back to me?

 

& 1 more thing, now also I text her once in a week, in which some time i say her that can we speak or plz can we discuss & re-think, or some nice message through which she can know i am there for her,

 

I can text her but she dont reply to my text & also dont say stop sending text to her, so I am really confused.

 

plz if some one can guide me, especially girls if you can guide me on this. she is my first love,

 

 

I'm sorry to hear about your break up.

 

Do not settle for someone who doesn't want to to be with you for real.

 

She went back to her ex, so be it.

 

Do not contact her and move on with your life.

[iworthmore]

sorry for that bro.

u already begged her back and that's so unattractive. she didn't respect you while u both were together and no she's loosing any little respect left for you.

 

anyway its not about her its about you. keeping on sending her messages while she's engaged now is totally desperate and disrespecting and showing you in soo bad place. if she's not responding she's only ignoring it doesn't mean she's ok with that.

 

i always wanted my ex back in the past. always had the urge to call her but never did and now it never come to my mind. why? cuz my self respect prevented me from doing that. now, im proud of myself.

 

i can walk with my chin up cuz im getting over her and starting to be happy and enjoying being me.

 

i wud say forget and move on, but u dont want that

keep total NC. any more contact you do will only kill any chance of her coming back. (well, if u insisnt you want her back)

 

good luck mate

[eachcomingnight]

Thanks for yr reply Smthn_Like_Olivia, & i know you are saying right,

but some how I cant understand, that when she knows there is no future with her ex fiance,

& here I was ready to do anything, i wanted to give her a settled life, a stability &great future, & this is what she was looking for, which her ex fiance never gave her,

& she know I loved her more then anything,

 

I'm sorry that you're hurting.

One possibility is that she enjoys the challenge of trying to get someone to commit, but is not actually ready to settle down, and when faced with the possibility of settling down with you, she got scared and went right to something less serious.

 

Another possibility is that she never really lost her feelings for her ex and realized that she wanted to be with him even if he can't give her the commitment that she wants.

 

Either way, she has chosen not to take the path that you have offered her. There's not really anything you can do about this if you gave it your best shot - it doesn't mean you didn't love her enough or that you weren't good enough to her, just that she is looking for something else right now. You're probably best served working on moving on. Stick around here and read other threads from people in similar situations, and you can learn a lot about healing.

[d0nnivain]

Even if she did come back, why would you want to be her 2nd choice? She already lost respect for you. You made it worse by begging, pleading, & chasing after her. Now she's with the man she views as stronger, more desirable even if he doesn't want her, she wants him, not you.

 

 

Sorry. I think you need to look for & marry a woman who thinks you are the greatest man in the world. That's not her.

[jeetendra555]

I'm sorry that you're hurting.

One possibility is that she enjoys the challenge of trying to get someone to commit, but is not actually ready to settle down, and when faced with the possibility of settling down with you, she got scared and went right to something less serious.

 

Another possibility is that she never really lost her feelings for her ex and realized that she wanted to be with him even if he can't give her the commitment that she wants.

 

Either way, she has chosen not to take the path that you have offered her. There's not really anything you can do about this if you gave it your best shot - it doesn't mean you didn't love her enough or that you weren't good enough to her, just that she is looking for something else right now. You're probably best served working on moving on. Stick around here and read other threads from people in similar situations, and you can learn a lot about healing.

 

Yes I know that i should move on with my life,

But still I have few questions please if you can answer:

 

1) how suddenly a love can change into hate, till yesterday she was having feelings for me & today gone !.

2) why she said such hurtful things to me when she knows how much i love her.

3) is it possible for a girl to forget every thing instantly about a person who was ready to do anything for her, the moments, time spent together etc.,

4) her ex is not ready to marry her (not ready to commit her) then why she is going back again?

5) why she is getting angry & not discussing things properly with me.

7) was i a rebound person?

8) or is her ex fiance rebound now?

9) will she forget me so easily?

 

I am sorry, but there are lot many questions in my mind & not able to get it.

[Fufu]

Yes I know that i should move on with my life,

But still I have few questions please if you can answer:

 

1) how suddenly a love can change into hate, till yesterday she was having feelings for me & today gone !.

2) why she said such hurtful things to me when she knows how much i love her.

3) is it possible for a girl to forget every thing instantly about a person who was ready to do anything for her, the moments, time spent together etc.,

4) her ex is not ready to marry her (not ready to commit her) then why she is going back again?

5) why she is getting angry & not discussing things properly with me.

7) was i a rebound person?

8) or is her ex fiance rebound now?

9) will she forget me so easily?

 

I am sorry, but there are lot many questions in my mind & not able to get it.

 

I can't answer those questions because I am not her.

 

I can also tell you for sure she doesn't know these questions herself too.

 

Love is weird to a certain degree and that can blinds us too. As the saying "love is blind".

 

But don't stay blindsided for too long, sometimes we still have to use our brains to analyze the situation if this is an individual or relationship worth staying for.

[d0nnivain]

1) how suddenly a love can change into hate, till yesterday she was having feelings for me & today gone !.

2) why she said such hurtful things to me when she knows how much i love her.

3) is it possible for a girl to forget every thing instantly about a person who was ready to do anything for her, the moments, time spent together etc.,

4) her ex is not ready to marry her (not ready to commit her) then why she is going back again?

5) why she is getting angry & not discussing things properly with me.

7) was i a rebound person?

8) or is her ex fiance rebound now?

9) will she forget me so easily?

.

 

 

1. It wasn't love. However, she doesn't hate you unless you keep chasing after her. She wants you to leave her alone & when you continue pursuing her, that annoys her.

 

 

2. She says hurtful things to you so that you will see that she doesn't love you & doesn't want you. She wants you to go away & leave her alone. She's intentionally hurting you with her words so you get the message.

 

 

3. She didn't forget. She just doesn't care because she doesn't want those things from you. She wants them from him.

 

 

4. Because she loves him. Why are you chasing somebody who doesn't want you? Because you want her. Same thing.

 

 

5. She's angry because you are not listing. She has told you through her words & actions that she does not want to marry you but you keep after her.

 

 

6. there is no # 6

 

 

7. Yes, you were a rebound. She didn't care about you. She only wanted a warm body to fill the space he left.

 

 

8. No. He is not a rebound. He's the man she wants, even if he's no good for her & even if he doesn't want her.

 

 

9. She may not forget you, especially if you continue to hound her. But she will remember you as the disrespectful jerk who stalked her & wouldn't take no for an answer.

 

 

I'm sorry my answers were so blunt & harsh but you don't seem to be getting the message. She doesn't want to marry you. You seem like a sweet guy. Let her be. Go find somebody who is as into you as you are into them.

[Zahara]

Yes, you know you should move on with your life -- and there are no buts. And even if you had every answer to every question, at the end of the day, she has chosen to be with her ex. Nothing takes away from the fact that it's over. You need to accept that.

 

1) how suddenly a love can change into hate, till yesterday she was having feelings for me & today gone !.

 

Well, you stated she gradually started losing respect and feelings for you. It happens. I can also say that she never truly resolved her feelings for her ex and sort of latched on to you to maybe forget about her ex. when you came into the picture. Almost a rebound situation.

 

2) why she said such hurtful things to me when she knows how much i love her.

 

I have a feeling she's trying to bang some sense into your head that maybe if you hear the pain and awful truth, you'll let her go.

 

3) is it possible for a girl to forget every thing instantly about a person who was ready to do anything for her, the moments, time spent together etc.,

 

Don't project what you think you should mean to her. If she doesn't value what you have to give her, then yes, it would be easy for her to walk away from it.

 

4) her ex is not ready to marry her (not ready to commit her) then why she is going back again?

 

Because she loves him and is still attached to him. Just as you can't stop bugging her even when you know she doesn't love you.

 

5) why she is getting angry & not discussing things properly with me.

 

There is nothing to discuss and you are annoying her with your insistence. She has told you it is over and she wants to be with her ex. What else is there to talk about?

 

7) was i a rebound person?

 

Possibly.

 

8) or is her ex fiance rebound now?

 

He isn't a rebound. She is still in love with him.

 

9) will she forget me so easily?

 

She won't forget you becasue she did have history with you. Let's just say you will be fleeting in her mind because she doesn't have anymore emotional feelings for you. So, not in the way you hope to be remembered.