Ptking403 Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 [font=century gothic][/font][color=red][/color] me and this girl went out for 9 months, she said that she loves me and that i'm all she wanted she told me that constantly through our relationship, but on her birthday i blew it, i over reacted and broke up with her b/c i was insecure bout her and another guy b/c she always talked to him and hung out with him alot. i felt bad and i felt i should trust her so i apologized for all what i did like the next day and i gave her flowers and wrote her a poem, she came back to me we started going out again but she only went out with me for 2 days after i gave her the roses. she said she needs time to get over what i did, i gave her time its been 2 weeks. i go and see her at work and i find that she has that guys ring on her finger, she admitted it was his ring and that she took it from him the night they hung out, she also told me that she had gotten over what i did to her on her birthday and she said it doesnt hurt her any more. So i asked her if she would go back out with me and she said that she cant handle a relationship right now, and i'm tottally clueless b/c this is the girl that ive been in love with and i know for a fact that she loves me too, but lately shes been really flakey and whenever i call her she is with that guy. I asked her if she wants to b with anybody else and she looks at me in the eye with total confidence and tells me she she doesnt wanna b with anyone. she wrote me a letter the other day saying that she loves me and she wants to start our relationship over again, starting from friends and moving up from there, she says she doesnt want to loose me and hopes that me and her can get back together in the future but not now, so i'm wondering if she doesnt want to get w/me b/c of the guy or if she is going through something thta she doesnt want to tell me bout. she used to call me everyday but its been a week now and she hasnt called me. i call her and she is either with that guy or has to do something and for some reason she never wants to tell me that she is with the guy. i wanted to talk to her today after school and she told me she had to go somewhere i asked her where she was going she said she is gonna go talk to her mom, later on in the day i call her and ask her how it went she tells me she decided not to talk to her mom and went out somewhere, i asked where she went and she says it doesnt matter and i dont have to know everythign in her life. i'm confused she tells me she wants me and doesnt want to loose me, yet it seems like she is spending all her time with another guy. i love her soo much and dont want to let her go,i gave her roses and gave her a card i wrote her a love letter and burned her a cd. she said she cried to the cd and that she said she appreciates it all but just wants to be friends for now and hopes we will get back together in the future. what do u think is going on? i find it very hard to move on and it hurts me that she is haning out with this other guy instead of me help me please Link to post Share on other sites
frogprinz29 Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 Hey, First, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a tough time. I'm going through a break up after 9 years. I went through situations somewhat similiar to yours many years ago. I jumped through many hoops to show the girl I loved at that time how much I cared for her and, would do just about anything in the world to prove it. I showered her with love letters, songs, poems, gifts, and even paid her bills and rent. She still said she loved me and wanted to be friends. She also said that she needed time and her freedom. Needless to say I didn't think I imposed on her freedom while we were together. The thing is she wanted freedom from me...to be with someone else. Thus the "break up". When I found this out, I cancelled the checks and put the breaks on the gifts. Whether you're with someone for 3 months, 9 months, or years. It's becomes a sure thing for feelings and emotions to become stronger to some degrees. She probably does have feelings for you and does care about you. She has presented you with some signs. I don't know how long the two of you have been broken up. In the time you've been apart, she has worn someone elses ring, which is a significant sign of being with someone/belonging to someone I believe. Girls may wear rings which belong to their friends, who are girls, because they think it's pretty and wish to borrow it. But how many girls wear the rings of their guy friends because they think it's pretty and are just borrowing it. Hmmm. In your second paragraph, you said that you are in love with her, but is she "in love with you"? I believe that if two people are in love with each other, then nothing else would come in between them and they would be top priority for each other. I can't speak for your ex-girlfriend or know what she is thinking or feeling. She could genuinely love you and genuinely want to get back with you in the future. Whether she is spending time with the other guy or not, she has asked for a leave from your relationship. There's not much you can do to change that for now, just respect it. It's tough, it feels like it hurts like nothing else in the world but you have to get through it. To me, there's not much in the world stronger than a woman's love... maybe the love a parent has for their child, would be just as equal. I believe that you have to weigh what she says with what she is doing or not doing. Her actions aren't doing you any good. In the mean time during your break up, you need to focus on you. You can't expect people to love and enjoy you, if you can't do it for yourself. There was a time before/without your "ex". You have the same goals, ideas, wishes, and hopes as you did before. Hang out with your friends or family members. Join a productive club or join a school athletic team. Improve on the person you are and people will take notice. You'll have weak moments but you need to pass this trial of life. It's be a roller coaster ride of emotions and feelings with some highs and deep lows. You'll learn from it and grow from it. Hope my posting is some help and not just my rambling. Take it ez and be strong man! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ptking403 Posted August 7, 2004 Author Share Posted August 7, 2004 Thank you for your advice we have been apart for 2 weeks and she has been saying she cannot handle a relationship right now. but she loves me and hopes that me and her happen again in the future. i donno if thats a slow let down or she really means it Link to post Share on other sites
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