hurtingandconfused Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Yesterday night I went to a party. I saw my ex but made no attempt to say hi to her. About 30 minutes into the party she comes up to me and says hi.( I was hanging out with buddies) I take her to the front yard and begin to catch up. We talk for about 10 mins. She tells me that she misses me. I also tell her that I miss her( I know I shouldn't have said it.) When I walked her to her car I asked her if she still had feelings for me. She said yes. I then asked her if she was in love with me. She told me yes. The whole time she wanted to make out with me; however, I tried not to. But finally I gave in.(Bad idea) She told me that she wanted to call me so bad but never did. I asked her for a ride home and she agrees to. I invite her in my house. You could image what happened next. I felt weird, It didn't feel right to me. She's not happy with herself. It's not my fault and it's not her fault. I still love her with all my heart; however, her happines is more important than our relationship. Hopefully sooner than later she will find what she is looking for. I had a hard time sleeping, maybe I should have called it a night before we made out. Just wanted to let you guys know that NC is very helpful, but it sucks. It sucks because NC is suppose to be forever. Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Sounds to me like NC worked exactly like it is supposed to. The only problem I see was that you should not have bedded her right off the bat. That's why it felt so weird. The two of you have to rebuild the intimacy before you can start having sex again. BTW, how long do you think NC is supposed to last? Five months is quite a bit of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurtingandconfused Posted July 13, 2004 Author Share Posted July 13, 2004 I think that NC should remain until the dumper makes the first move. After they initiate contact then the ball is in your court. You can either be friendly or not. I do agree with you, I shouldn't had sex with her. It messed me up even more. I think about what happened constantly. But I was relieved to hear that she still thought of me, missed me, cared for me, and still loved me. I knew that I made some kind of impression in her life. Well life goes on and if life wants to give us a second chance so be it. I will have to live my life without her and I will try not to think of her anymore. (Which is the hardest thing I will have to face.) Link to post Share on other sites
pinkyzhu Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 Hi H&C, It sounds so predestined... what if you never run into her? then NC goes on. Did you ask her what's the reason holding her back and not to call you? pinkyzhu Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurtingandconfused Posted July 14, 2004 Author Share Posted July 14, 2004 NC is risk everyone should use. If it was meant to be then it is. It was good to talk to her, hold her, and kiss her. We did not plan it, it just happened. No I did not ask her what held her back. Eventhough she did not call me it felt good knowing that she did want to call me. I feel alot better. I got closure. I got my answers. I can now live, and look for my happiness. Yes if we did not run into each other, I would have never of called her. (Eventhough I wanted to bad) The reason is because she broke up with me. When someone breaks up with you it means they need time to themselves. They need time to think about what happened. They need time to miss you. And ultimately they need time away from you. "There will be an answer, let it be." Link to post Share on other sites
meltwithme Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 No I did not ask her what held her back. Eventhough she did not call me it felt good knowing that she did want to call me. Yes if we did not run into each other, I would have never of called her. (Eventhough I wanted to bad) The reason is because she broke up with me. When someone breaks up with you it means they need time to themselves. They need time to think about what happened. They need time to miss you. And ultimately they need time away from you. "There will be an answer, let it be." This is what I am having a verry difficult time with right now, that she broke up with you and wanted to call but didn't. My ex is similar, she didn't like confrontation at all so I doubt she will call even if she wanted to. She broke up with me when I got clingy. It's long distance so I won't run into her, and I can't call because I think that would only make it worse, but I want to talk to her. No contact is getting to be much more difficult than I thought. I'm back to being confused and angry. Link to post Share on other sites
head/heels Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 i am in same boat,,, how far along are you:? ok, sorry to intrude, but i wanted to email / im melt with me, but didnt know how...ok here is my 2 cents.........the NC, it worked for you bro...take what you got and make something out of it! play it cool, be that guy you were when you first started and dont be that guy that lost her...make the changes you made to yourself stand out and dont repeat the mistakes of the past. if it doesnt work out this time, realize that she was dying for you inside and that means that you were worth it all along....if she leaves you now....then she is not good in the brain....and you will be great bc you now know that you were worth her smile, you won! and now you have the power to chose her or not i would make sure you let her make the risky moves to see if she is into it or not...then woo her like you wouild if you never knew her b4, if it is weird, get out and tell her that it just isnt for you.... Link to post Share on other sites
meltwithme Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 i am in same boat,,, how far along are you:? ok, sorry to intrude, but i wanted to email / im melt with me, but didnt know how... put it in my profile, i'd like any advice you can give me Link to post Share on other sites
downcydeguy Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 I'm a little confused by your reaction I guess. You did NC for 5 months. You run into her and SHE initiates conversation. She tells you that she's missed you and still loves you. You sleep together. So why are you feeling weird? Is there no chance of anything more (re)developing from this? That's the point of NC in the first place - to see if things work out in the end. Perhaps you're no longer in love with her and it was simply alcohol/hormones that led you into bed with her. Either way I think that things happened and now you have to handle it accordingly. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts