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just broke up, want to get her back


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hi, im new to all this but i wish to seek some advice from u guys.im 19 years old and my ex girlfriend is 20, we broke up 2 days ago, i know after reading, many of u guys have said dont send a letter, but ive done that already! dammit! but from a friends advice, it didnt include anything about being depressed or sad, just basically explaining i know what i did wrong and im just sorry for doing it.

 

anyways, my g/f and i we broke up 2 days ago, the problem is we fell out about 4 months ago but we decided to give it ago, but she moved 350 miles away bcos she had to get away from some ppl, none the less, she asked me to move down with her, i have always said no, i know it wasnt the right way to deal with it, but i just couldnt, my life is alot more steady up here, my friends and family are here but yes, she is the most important thing to me but i couldnt decide to move after 1 month of her moving.anyways, 4 months passes by and i have seen her quite a few times, but 2 days ago, we was having a nice time, had a few drinks , had fun, she even started asking me when i was gonna ask her to marry me and get engaged.but the next day, everything was going really great (btw i only was there for 2 days) we went shopping but then we fell out she accused me of being childish and immature.

 

2 days later, she phoned me asking when i sent th letter was it b4 or after the argument, none the less the phone call ended with me asking why? how can u decide this in 2 days? etc etc she replied 'ive been thinking' 'this isnt gonna work' 'if u move , ur gonna be unhappy and it'l end in 2 months' neither way she wasnt having none of it which is understandable. i ended the phone call.

 

anyways i havent spoken to her for 2 days now but i feel terrible, i love her so much, but i wish she did understand how i felt about moving so soon, i dont know what to do now, i know to reserve my cool for 3 days or so..but i dont want to drop it, i love her so much and she knows that, and i wouldnt be going thru all of this if i didnt think she felt the same, i just find it silly how from asking me to get engaged she can then decide not to work at it and blame me for being immature.she wont even give it 2 more days lol.

 

what is she going through atm? will she forgive me? will she take me back? help!

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I'm not great at giving advice, but if it was me, and after being with her for so long, I would call her when the time felt right in my heart. When I did, I would tell her, ok I love you. I do, and I care about you more than anything, so I know this can work and I know there are a lot of things going on here, but it's totally worth it! Let's put all the problems out on a table, and sift through them calm and steady. Tell her you are sorry for whatever it is you did. And state what it was you did. Ask her what it is that you need to fix and and both of you try and work on it. If she loves you, it'll work! Anyway, that's just my advice, you don't have to follow it. I'm only seventeen and a half, but I know what it's like to love someone!

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its the 2nd day that we have had no contact i left her a text 1 day ago sayig i was gonna leave her alone, but now im waiting for her to phone or text me, if she doesnt thats when i phone her, im trying to play this smart though, by not pushing or anything, but i do feel theres always a way providing i just chill. i just need to know what shes going thru after i texted her and what to do next or any other bit of advice someone can give me. :D

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What she's going through after you messaged her and how long you should wait before calling or texting her again both depend on the real reasons why you two broke up and the intensity of the relationship.

You gotta deal with your own issues before contacting her again. Do you want to be with her no matter what ? Or do you prefer to stick with your family and friends where you think your life is more steady ? If I was you, I wouldn't contact her before coming up with a clear and final answer to that.

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well lol , her phones been cut off, i dont know her house number and so it seems everything is doomed, the only thing i can probably do is write a email now thats if she even checks it...now i don tknow whats left to do except write a email and move on unless someone has some other great suggestions romantic or not! :D which i could try

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I'd say romantic suggestions and/or attempts such as sending her flowers with a card should only be done when you cheated on your ex for example and you are seeking forgiveness. If it wasn't your mistake (and a big mistake such as the one I just mentioned) then it's better not to do anything romantic.

Even if you decide to send an email, do you want to be with her no matter what ? Or do you prefer to stick with your family and friends where you think your life is more steady ? Think about it before taking action.

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So you don't know her adress? If you do, you could write her a real letter. You know she'll get it then. But if not, emailing her is a good idea too. Hopefully she will check it, anyway. Good luck man!

Derek

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