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She says we wont be getting back together does she mean it?


Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

Old 6th June 2004, 6:47 AM   #1
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She says we wont be getting back together does she mean it?

Ive written a long post before about getting back with my ex who is been resistant. Today I was lucky to see her in the street.. Now I walked with her for a while. While we were walking we asked each other how we were doing, what we were upto etc... We were passing on news to each other or gossip.,

I asked her would she like to go to the funfair with me next week. We always had a great time at the funfair when we were together. she said she didnt have the money for it, I said I have the money. I have been doing a lot of overtime lately..
She said no its ok, I asked if she wanted if she ever wanted to go to the beach with me..now i have my first car we could go there.. SHE SAID NO AGAIN.. NOW SHE ALWAYS WANTED ME TO GET A CAR WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER SO WE COULD DO THESE THINGS ...
Stupidly I panicked, and told her that we could be great together if she gave us a chance but she replied " we're not going through this all over again" .... I asked her did she think about what I asked her before. i asked her if we could meet up sometimes for coffee or for lunch.. she said no... that it wouldnt be happening... that if we saw each other in the street the we would say hello to each other and maybe chat but we wouldnt be arranging anything...its 1 year today since we split... But I was her 1st boyfriend, she was my 1st girlfriend and we were together for 4 years and 12 months ago she wanted to get married and spend the rest of her life with me....I made a mistake...Im in the process of trying to change.. Ive really cut down on the alcohol and Ive bought my first car.. I know a lot more changes will have to be made... It was weird though, she doesnt want to meet up with me.. but when we do meet up like yesterday it wasnt arranged we have loads to talk about , she showed me her newly pedicured feet, she lifted my t-shirt sleeve to see my new tattoo.. we have 3 tattoos each.... She was telling me about her next door neighbour who had a fall a few weeks ago, and they are having a bar b q tonight and things like that.. she was telling me about her plans over the next few weekends...
I know im going to get people replying to this saying "move on, theres more fish in the sea", i know that.... but this girl means the world to me... talking with her today was so natural, it was like old times, now as she said she could have caused a scene and told me to f*** off and leave her alone and props to her for not doing that...
Now I will have to leave her alone and if theres contact to me made now then it will have to be done from her side.. Anyway I dont know where she lives now and she changed her number after we split because I was constantly ringing or messaging her ...
The last year of my life has been the hardest.. BUT I've got to look from her point of view too....
Maybe we can be friends again and get back together but if we do, then thats her decision.. she knows how i feel about her.... Im bad at saying goodbyes to Rachel. When we arrived outside her grandparents house yesterday i said to her ' do u remember when you used to get the train home on sundays, i used hate to say goodbye to you then , that I would run back onto the train and give you a big kiss and hug and tell you i love you', she said she remembered but she didnt want to talk about the past.. I then said the this statment stupidly i feel but i said it , " dont worry, im not going to do this , but we are standing so close to each other right now, if i were to give you a kiss then there would be sparks as we still have that chemistry... she then said she gotta go and we said take care to each other...
I dont know when i will see her again.. i dont know where she lives and i dont have her phone number.. She changed it after we split up as I kept ringing and messaging her .... So if theres any contact to be made it will have to be done by her....
Its 12 months now since the split but I FEEL that if she gave us a 2nd chance that it could work.. it would mean a lot of talking as there are trust issues at the moment..
Just wondering if ye can offer any advice or what ye think
Thanks

John
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Old 6th June 2004, 7:03 AM   #2
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She doesn't want you. It doesn't mean she has nothing to say to you when she sees you and it doesn't mean she doesn't like you as a person. She simply doesn't want to be with you and wants you to stop trying to date her. She's human though... she gets off a little because you still want her so when she sees you she teases you a little - shows you how great she is and how you done f*cked up when you had the chance. It's only natural for you to feel this way but her continued "negative" on your attempts to date her speak much louder than whether she looked at your new tattoo. She changed her phone number so you wouldn't call her dude! You're just making yourself look slow by continuing to try. She's never going to take you back if you keep acting pathetic about it (sorry, but hey). Coming from a girl's perspective you're not acting very attractive, you're acting like the one she dumped. You gotta be the man she shouldn't have dumped if you want her back. You gotta get on with your life. The calling all the time, that was bad, man. Act like somebody she should respect and admire, not someone she should pity.

sorry for the tough love, man...
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Old 6th June 2004, 7:05 AM   #3
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Maybe we can be friends again and get back together but if we do
Being "friends" with the intention to reunite is totally impossible!!!! This is a mistake!!!! Do not intend for this because I am 99.99999999% it will not happen!
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she said she remembered but she didnt want to talk about the past
No matter if you were the dumper or the dumpee the past hurts. You have to understand that the relationship did not work out. You cannot bring up the past and hope for her to want you back. Do not do this to her this is very hurtful for her. She had feelings for you and unfortunately she does not want a 2nd chance.
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if i were to give you a kiss then there would be sparks as we still have that chemistry
Big mistake, If I were you I'd would have kissed her on her forehead, if she pushed away I would have gotten the hint. Don't ask and bring up the past like I said it hurts.
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I FEEL that if she gave us a 2nd chance that it could work
She does not think so.
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Just wondering if ye can offer any advice or what ye think
I think that you've lost her permanently. Who knows what the future might bring. But for now she does not want to be with you. I do not know your story but her reasons for not wanting to be with you are good enough for me to stay BACK OFF.
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Old 6th June 2004, 7:09 AM   #4
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She's probably on a board asking for help about getting you off her back, dude. I read your other thread. You need to seriously knock off the stalker-like sh*t, man.

I don't know how she could make it anymore loud and clear that she doesn't want anything to do with you. The thing about talking to you - that was just being civil. Treating you like a person treats any friend. If you can't deal with this after a year you need to move away or get help or something. Leave her alone!!! She already threatened to call the authorities on your ass! Get a clue!

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Today I was lucky to see her in the street..
Was it really "luck" or were you stalking her again?

Last edited by magda; 6th June 2004 at 7:15 AM..
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Old 6th June 2004, 7:40 AM   #5
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first of all , I was not stalking her..

secondly - yes it was "luck " that I saw her yesterday... ok i wrote to her a lot of times, stupidly but that was the only way that I could tell her things...
when we broke up I reacted VERY VERY BADLY TO SAY THE LEAST.. so thats why she changed her number , If I wanted to see her I could have went out to her house , she was living there for a few months before she moved out and I didnt...

Ok the letters I sent too many - I realise my mistakes now...
But since January I have spoken to her twice , yesterday been the second time so I have left her alone in the last few months... I should have done it at the beginning, but I was drinking a lot and I acted STUPIDLY.. REAL STUPID.. I cant change the past...
I made mistakes , Im not perfect and I know a lot of people here in this forum have done probably the same if they were in my shoes...

I wont be going near her again though , that I can guarantee. like she has said , if we see each other in pub or in street, then we will say hello to each other.. but thats it.
Its her decision. if she wants to come back then that will be up to her..
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Old 6th June 2004, 7:46 AM   #6
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Okay, that's definately the way you should leave it.

As far as our argument over whether you were stalking her, i'm talking about when you waiting in your car for an hour at a gas station that was on her walk home from work. That is what I call stalking.

Then when you were "lucky enough" to see her on the street, how is it that you ended up walking her all the way to her grandparents house? I mean.. just because you chance to see someone doesn't mean you stick around. If you want to seem more attractive you should at least pretend you have something to do with yourself that isn't following her around like a lost dog.

Last edited by magda; 6th June 2004 at 7:49 AM..
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Old 6th June 2004, 8:08 AM   #7
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ok , I agree that me waiting at the gas station was a bit too much.. I hadnt seen her in 3.5 months or heard from her and I heard from a girl at work that rachel walks home everyday from work.. so I was off work that day so I decided, stupidly i admit , that I go out there and if i see her can we at least talk...

at the end of the day rachel and me , weve been through a lot together.. I honestly thought that a few months apart might have made even a small bit of difference...

Yesterday she said she was on her way to her grandparents.. we were talking so I said " do you mind if i accompany you?" if she said no then that would be fine, but she said , "ok" so thats why i walked her out.. when we said our goodbyes she thanked me for walking with her.. it kept her company...

I know what you are saying..I've did all I can now so time to back off and keep my distance....
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Old 6th June 2004, 11:34 PM   #8
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Hey, i know exactly what your going through. Im madly in love with my ex and ive done all i can do. It took 6 months for us to become friends again. We spoke last night for 3 hours on the phone. As u said "Like old times" and the exact same chemistry was there but when it was time to say goodbye i panicked and said "U know, i still love you". And i got a yes i know but u should know its never going to happen again. And i asked why which replied "Because i dont want it to". Ive decided now to give up while we are still friends. As last time i pushed and pushed the question and all i got was hatred. At least as friends there's a slim possibilty. I think thats what u should do.
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Old 7th June 2004, 1:34 AM   #9
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Im not perfect and I know a lot of people here in this forum have done probably the same if they were in my shoes...
It all depends on the person. I agree many people push their ex's away.

I tried getting back with my ex once. I was not successful. After I asked her if she wanted to go our separate ways(she said yes)I left it as that. When your ex makes up their mind it is final. So no matter what you do after the break up it will not make them change their mind.

You made mistakes because you loved her. If you would have left her alone the same outcome would have happened.
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