Second chances exist

[maylis]

I am living proof. My ex and I talked after 5 weeks of being apart. We needed that time apart to reset everything and to work out our own personal issues. We are back together now and are starting over and taking it slow.

 

I think it depends on the reasons for breaking up, obviously if the feelings are no longer there a reconciliation doesn't seem very likely. If the feelings are there and the breakup occurred for other reasons, if those reasons are fixed and if each person has time alone to reflect on everything for awhile it can work.

 

Good luck to anyone trying to work things out!

[Compromize]

If both are willing to work on the issues and enter a new relationship together instead of the old one with the old cycles then yes it can work. But it has to start with opening the lines of communication and being honest with each other and yourselves.

 

I am basically waiting for my ex who said she wanted me back but not yet/need some time. We have been broken up for 3 months and the call was 2 weeks ago. For some of us the "promise" of a second chance is just something dangled out there as a maybe and is one-sided or possibly said to make them feel better. Maybe that will not ultimately be the case with me but it's hard to not start hardening my heart again against the probable outcome of being ignored and forgotten.

 

You are the 1% around here, make the absolute best of it and realize that this does not happen to most of us so make us proud and make it work and I hope you never have to come back and join the ranks of us broken-hearted on LS!

[travelonic]

en.

 

You are the 1% around here, make the absolute best of it and realize that this does not happen to most of us so make us proud and make it work and I hope you never have to come back and join the ranks of us broken-hearted on LS!

 

it doesn't happen often true, but 1%? Seems a bit - even if just a little - higher than that.

[swiftly333]

I agree that people on here tend to be really negative an pessimistic about couples reuniting. I known of lots. My sister and her now husband dated and broke up, then later go back.together and are now married. I have two friends that have the same story; however, those two were separated for a few years in between. It definitely happens.

 

My previous ex and I went through that. We broke up for several months; I was really guarded and wouldn't let my walls down an he was very jealous and needy. We broke up for months then he showed up at my door after hearing I I was sent to the ER for a.sports injury and offered to help anyway I needed. Is a in. Cast an he helped me get around, do things. An I guess you're ex boyfriend can only help you in an it.of the tub s many times before you decide it's just too romantic an sexy... we go back together and the relationship was nothing like the previous one. Our time apart.showed us both hoe much we took the other for granted. That time apart was essential. We were together to 5 years after that an we had a loving, caring, secure relationship. We ended up breaking up, obviously, but for reasons unrelated to the issues w had the first time around.

 

So my point is, for a good handful of couples, breakups actually can be beneficial and necessary for a long lasting relationship to work. It does happen.

 

I see why people discourage people on here from having hope. If course a lot of people just have a hard time letting go. And I think for a lot of people it's a normal phase in the post-breakup process. I think what was common in all the couple's that reunited was that they all had a significant amount of time (months to years) and really made changes so their second time around d was nothing like the first. The only time I would say you shouldn't try is in cases of abuse or when on /both parties involved are extremely emotionally unstable or mentally unhealthy. But even then, who really knows?

 

I think people do need to be realistic, but I believe people should follow their hearts. I think it's really easy for some person on the internet to say it's never going to happen, but they don't know the whole story and hey sure don't know the future.

 

I'm glad you two words things out an I hope you guys can make it stick this time! Definitely realized you are lucky an work had to keep it going. Good luck!

[JasonJ03]

Hi.

 

How did this to about? I've recently started hanging out with my girlfriend again. I want her so badly but I'm scared I'm going to push her away (again). I broke up with her and kind of for the same reason. I needed to work on personal issues. Last time I got into contact with her and tried I did everything wrong so I am petrified to try anything. I've just been hanging out and trying to keep composure. Do you have any advice?

 

Thanks

[Leigh 87]

Maybe this dos happen. For me, I cannot hold onto any hope. It is a fantasy that I am not expecting.

 

We broke up because I have personal issues that he could not tolerate.

 

He says he still loves me just as much - but that everything that has gone through has clouded that.

 

I have always had a feeling that he loves me so much that he would just miss me too much if we broke up; I felt that he would want me back, once he realised how he wants me back.

 

I think love is fickle. Irrespective of how much someone once loves you, that love can change.

 

Your very lucky. I would marry my ex if he asked me. I am that in love with him.

 

I have to be very strong, telling myself constantly to NEVER indulge the idea of him coming back. It would be magical, but hey. It won't happen. As far as I am concerned.

[Leigh 87]

Hey, what do you guys think about this: if I had ACTED differently, and not taken out bad moods on my ex, we would definitely still be together.

 

Does that mean that... because our issues, unrelated to love got in the way, that he may realise how much he does not want to live life without me, once we are apart?

 

He says he is not ruling it out; that he has those feelings still there for me. That he just needs to get out of the relationship. That it was not feelings that were the issue.

 

I fail to see how he can just fall in love with me again.

[Treasa]

I had gotten several exes back. One ex I got back five times. The time broken up was usually around a month.

 

Unfortunately, a lot of people don't realize that the breakup was a good thing or even a true blessing until way later.

 

Second chances may make you feel temporarily better, but likely you're going to find it hard to trust again, and the relationship may fail again.

 

I don't give guys second chances anymore. If they're dumb enough to throw me away the first time, they're too stupid for me to be with.

[travelonic]

Unfortunately, a lot of people don't realize that the breakup was a good thing or even a true blessing until way later.

 

....

 

Second chances may make you feel temporarily better, but likely you're going to find it hard to trust again, and the relationship may fail again.

 

 

Of course it depends on a lot of factors - a lot of people in bad relationships who pine for the reunion don't see it, but it isn't always about denial - sometimes that chance exists in the right cases. .. but yes being able to see when it won't work [or rather, being able to accurately gauge how successful or not it will be] is a good skill to posess.

[lozzy94]

i want nothing more than to be back with my ex. i broke up with him because we had issues making it work with seeing each other and stuff and he was really hurt when i ended it and so im worried about trying again because i don't want to hurt him but i just want to try again so bad now that i know why we weren't working out!