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Regretting my decision...badly


idontknow98

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So, about three weeks ago me and my ex broke up. I broke up with her because of commitment...worst mistake I have ever made. After a week of NC I decide to text her because I was starting to regret my decision. We actually talked and had a normal conversation. So I waited a few days and I texted her again and I sent her this long paragraph about how I felt and I apologized to her...I actually bought her flowers and put them on her front door. She got them and thought they were "beautiful" but she kind of just blew them off. So then she responds to my text and says "I can accept your apology..but I'm not sure if I can give you a second chance so easily" and I say "Okay I'm not sure what to do but I know it was a huge mistake and I learned from it." So she finally talks to me again about a week later..in person and says "I am afraid that if we try again you will feel the same way you did the first time" She caught me by surprise and I didn't really know what to say. She also said that she didn't want me to text or talk to her anymore unless it was really something important. So I don't know what to do. Do you think there is really any hope? we had a perfect relationship..couldnt be better.

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i think its over you should move on.

 

she is very smart an mature for the way she handle it all.

 

i think you just miss her which is normal when you break up.

so there is no reason to get back together.

missing someone during a break up is part of the process and not a moment to get back together.

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So, about three weeks ago me and my ex broke up. I broke up with her because of commitment...worst mistake I have ever made. After a week of NC I decide to text her because I was starting to regret my decision. We actually talked and had a normal conversation. So I waited a few days and I texted her again and I sent her this long paragraph about how I felt and I apologized to her...I actually bought her flowers and put them on her front door. She got them and thought they were "beautiful" but she kind of just blew them off. So then she responds to my text and says "I can accept your apology..but I'm not sure if I can give you a second chance so easily" and I say "Okay I'm not sure what to do but I know it was a huge mistake and I learned from it." So she finally talks to me again about a week later..in person and says "I am afraid that if we try again you will feel the same way you did the first time" She caught me by surprise and I didn't really know what to say. She also said that she didn't want me to text or talk to her anymore unless it was really something important. So I don't know what to do. Do you think there is really any hope? we had a perfect relationship..couldnt be better.

 

I think you'll find it wasn't perfect. If she thought it was, she'd snap you back up like a shot.

 

But she's told you on more than one occasion, in more than one way - she really doesn't want to risk it.

 

You were Mr Non-Commitment. She's not risking buying into that again.

 

Remember what they say about 'hope'.

It contains a big, fat zero......

 

You may not know what to do, so I'll tell you.

 

ACCEPT.

Move on.

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I agree. It just makes it even harder to deal with when we live across the street from each other and see each other multiple times everyday.

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AlexfromBoston
So, about three weeks ago me and my ex broke up. I broke up with her because of commitment...worst mistake I have ever made. After a week of NC I decide to text her because I was starting to regret my decision. We actually talked and had a normal conversation. So I waited a few days and I texted her again and I sent her this long paragraph about how I felt and I apologized to her...I actually bought her flowers and put them on her front door. She got them and thought they were "beautiful" but she kind of just blew them off. So then she responds to my text and says "I can accept your apology..but I'm not sure if I can give you a second chance so easily" and I say "Okay I'm not sure what to do but I know it was a huge mistake and I learned from it." So she finally talks to me again about a week later..in person and says "I am afraid that if we try again you will feel the same way you did the first time" She caught me by surprise and I didn't really know what to say. She also said that she didn't want me to text or talk to her anymore unless it was really something important. So I don't know what to do. Do you think there is really any hope? we had a perfect relationship..couldnt be better.

 

Well, essentially you just displayed a very unattractive quality to your ex by relaying that you are not ready for a commitment. That's pretty much poison to a respectable women's ears. So not only did you break off the relationship and break her heart, but you conveyed the idea that you are not capable of engaging in a mature relationship. Now, I know people change, but in her eyes, it could be construed as a pretty big risk getting involved with you again. I think it's time to move on and learn from your mistakes. Enjoy the single life and have fun.

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When I broke up with her I didnt really give her a reason..it was more like "I dont want to be in a relationship right now" than actually telling her what was wrong. She never gave me a chance to explain myself.

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AlexfromBoston
When I broke up with her I didnt really give her a reason..it was more like "I dont want to be in a relationship right now" than actually telling her what was wrong. She never gave me a chance to explain myself.

 

Regardless man, you broke it off and broke her heart. Now she is moving on and maybe lost that spark that she once had. Women are usually less forgiving when it comes to heartbreak. Now, if it was meant to be, then it'll happen. I would personally keep in touch with her but keep it friendly. Try and mimic the behavior that initially attracted her. Maybe she can fall for you again and you can formulate the relationship from scratch.

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Simon Phoenix
When I broke up with her I didnt really give her a reason..it was more like "I dont want to be in a relationship right now" than actually telling her what was wrong. She never gave me a chance to explain myself.

 

You gave all the explanation necessary when you said "I want to break up" or something to that effect. Sorry dude, you got exactly what you wanted. Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it. You just have to pick up the pieces and move on. And next time, think a decision like this through more.

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Starsinthesky

I'm in your position now. I broke up with him and I never meant it.

 

I hurt him, and lost his trust and that kills me

 

I will never give up on him though. I'm not going to pester him or beg him but I will just let him know I love him with all my heart and I will never give up on him.

 

I think you should do the same. If you love her fight for her. Don't be afraid of being rejected. Or you'll never know, and think what if I tried that little bit harder to make up for my massive mistake.

 

I wish you luck

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I wish the best for you too. I am not really sure what to say..I haven't talked to her in a week and she told me not to talk to her anymore unless its really important. She is afraid if we get back together I will feel the same way I did the first time but I can't get her to understand that I didnt break up with her because of how I felt about her. It was me...all me.

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LovesHangover

Communication is very important. I do not agree with most of the replies here. Please do two things for yourself: Figure out what you want and talk to her. You now have the opportunity to get everything on the table and actually establish a relationship where you both define what it is and isn't, what you think went wrong, what you expect from each other, and what you really want.

 

I am not a fan of giving up when there is definitely something you can do. Even if it is communicating so that you end clean having said and done all you can to reconcile the relationship. Reconciliation doesn't necessary mean the same as it was before but that everything is resolved/forgiven and you have had the opportunity to create something new whether you get back together or not. This way you can truly move forward with no regrets.

 

Best of luck to you! ;)

 

LovesHangover

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I just feel like I am bothering her when I text/call her when she told me to quit unless its something important and I don't really know what she means by "important"

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Not to mention, this is my first REAL relationship and the same for her. I really had no clue what I was doing.

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