salem mark Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 [Hi everyone, I need immediate advice regarding an ex, we live 1000 miles apart, she reached out to me after ending it a couple of years ago. I was NC the whole time and started to get over her and move on and then she emailed me out of the blue. We shared skype info and started chatting almost daily for the last 2 months. Its been very light, chatty, cute. But im starting to feel old feelings and its becoming torturous for me and distracting because she wants to chat thruout the day while at work. I cant see her because of the distance which is frustrating. She doesnt share what she does on the weekends with me and I dont want to know. She lives in Boston, is very attractive and has no problems meeting men. I feel like I'm becoming her "skype girlfriend" and not being remembered as a former bf/lover. I've tried some flirting but she doesnt really respond to that. So today I may tell her via Skype that isnt a good idea (for me) any longer to continue and wish her luck and remove her as a contact so I can move on again. Am I overreacting? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Themrandres Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 Nah dude ur not overreacting. Ur doing exactly what you have to in order to get closure. She ether tells you she has feelings for you or she leaves you alone and you can move on. Atleast now you will know. Goodluck, I really hope it works out for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author salem mark Posted November 13, 2012 Author Share Posted November 13, 2012 thanks, this is difficult for me, I was happy to hear from here but just cant be friends with her, and to be honest it would make me feel better to be the first to pull the plug on the situation Link to post Share on other sites
Themrandres Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 Dude im in the same situation and i know exactly how it feels. Its nice to check in with them and talk afew times but as soon as it becomes a habbit it just gets toxic. I wish i had the guts to call off talking with my ex:P Link to post Share on other sites
Author salem mark Posted November 13, 2012 Author Share Posted November 13, 2012 i was letting her always initiate it, even skyping, soon as i started initiating, saying hello, mornin, etc, she's now too busy to chat, WTF? i gues i colud pull back again, before completely shuuting it down, this is ridiculous, isnt it? Link to post Share on other sites
dumPI Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 i was letting her always initiate it, even skyping, soon as i started initiating, saying hello, mornin, etc, she's now too busy to chat, WTF? i gues i colud pull back again, before completely shuuting it down, this is ridiculous, isnt it? why telling her? Just vanish. You were NC and she emailed and started skyping. You are not getting what you want so what's the point of being her entertainer? Plus it's 1000 miles from you, what are the chances of having a new RS with her that works? Just NC again. You've been 2 years. Block & delete on skype and keep living. Can't be as hard as a fresh break up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author salem mark Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 wow you r so right Link to post Share on other sites
Author salem mark Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 i did it i blocked and removed here, i feel better, i did i asked her how she was this morning, she said good, and then did it, hope this sends a message to her to not do this other men Link to post Share on other sites
Kite Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I think it is definitely the right thing to do and your not overreacting at all. You are a former bf and not a bff. Link to post Share on other sites
Author salem mark Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 H50 u really think so?, ithought about that atfirst, thing is I dont think she respects us /me so thats why i did it with no explanation, she ended several times with no warning/explanation, so maybe it is retributio Link to post Share on other sites
Author salem mark Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 kite , what do u think of the below comment? Link to post Share on other sites
Kite Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Just disappear. She is nothing to you now but an ex. You get to do whatever you want. It will seem like you got bored of her and have better things to do. You did good!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author salem mark Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 it helps to get approval from advice seekers , i guess thats whyi'm on this site, what do u think of H50's comment, he thinks I'm being stupid pulling this manuever, but she contacted me and I didnt hear what I wanted to hear from her. I'm not going to kid myself , I still love her but im not going be here Skype BFF. she ended it out of the blue several times when I thought we were great together, no warning, no explanation, completely unfair to me, do you know what does to a person' self esteem, pysche?, RUINS IT and almost me in the process. I dont deserve to be treated disrespectfully, no one does. I think I did the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Kite Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I actually think that telling her that you can't do this anymore, it hurts your feelings or any conversation to that extent, comes across you not being over her and not being strong enough to talk to her. You have better things to do, she is not a priority and you didn't think it important enough to have to tell her, is what just stopping says. If that is what you want her to think then that's what I would do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author salem mark Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 kite, i dont believe im a priority to her either, i felt like her plaything while she sits at work, bored, that what I sense is going on, Don't you think she would pick up the phone or contact me on the weekend (which she never did after 2 months of Skype. It tells me i was just something to keep her amused while waiting for something else or better to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Kite Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 If we like someone we want to talk to them all the time, not all the time when we have nothing better to do. Once again that's what female friends are there for. Surely she must be aware that she is messing you around? I have an ex of 10 years ago and I would never assume that it is okay to treat him like a bff, even though there are no hard feelings. This girl is very selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
Author salem mark Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 thankyou Kite for your female perspective on this, i wbasically did it agiould think she is messing me up with this, She always checked out on me at the 2 month mark,so she's just following a predictable/path. I think Im just a safety net for her, when she is lonely she contacts me, because she remembers how we were together and she knows i will respond to her despite the distance She is very selfish, you are dead on Link to post Share on other sites
dumPI Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I think that doing A or B while thinking on her is a faulty perspective. What do you have to do in order to feel better? STOP CONTACTING HER. If what matters is how you feel, why should you be telling her anything? Yeah I know the answer "Cause once you WERE something". Yes, WERE. So she has nothing to decide on your life any longer. Plus, it's your life. You do as you please and tell who you want. She is just mindf***ing you and you don't allow exgf to do that. Do you think she earned the right to be told anything? I don't think so. It's called self-respect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author salem mark Posted November 16, 2012 Author Share Posted November 16, 2012 i unblocked her, man am i weak, she emailed me and asked if i blocked her and told she missd me, now what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author salem mark Posted November 16, 2012 Author Share Posted November 16, 2012 well we chatted via skype for an hour, i i asked her if she missed me, she nodded yes, and blew me a kiss, i said "I miss that", and she changed the subject, WTF? i can take it anymore, i blocked her again, is those some crazy game she is playing? Link to post Share on other sites
Jono85 Posted November 17, 2012 Share Posted November 17, 2012 well we chatted via skype for an hour, i i asked her if she missed me, she nodded yes, and blew me a kiss, i said "I miss that", and she changed the subject, WTF? i can take it anymore, i blocked her again, is those some crazy game she is playing? DUDE, ur acting like a woman. i'm sorry for the tough love here, but it needs to be said. a MAN doesn't block her, then unblock her, then block her. really?? she has u by the BALLS still. either man up, and deal with her hot and coldness and GAME her/get her wanting you again (this means YOU have to tease too and stop letting her control these exchanges). but it doesn't sound like u have the heart/stamina for that, which is totally cool. this girls put u through the ringer and back. but for gods sake, STICK TO A DECISION. a man doesn't waiver so damn much, he's assertive and is firm. ur not going to attract girls with this behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
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