is my ex girlfriend giving me mixed signals?

[NotOverYou]

I broke up with my ex girlfriend about nine months ago. We kept minimal contact and in June I told her that I still have feelings for her and want her back. She didnt give me a direct answer but told me that getting back together doesnt happen over night and to just go with the flow. I went with the flow but a lot mixed results during that time. A couple of weeks ago I told my ex that I can't be friends with her anymore. I told her that I still have feelings for her and seeing her would just hold me back from moving on. I was really torn from all of this. She told me that she understands what I am saying and that she'll be there for me if I need her for anything. I went no contact with her for the next two weeks then just a couple of days ago... out of the blue she texted me to see if I wanted to go to a basketball game. At first I didn't want to respond to her text but I decided to text her back and told her I can go. I picked her up and we went to the game. We talked, flirted, and had a great time. While we were walking to my car she held my arm. The way couples would do when they are walking. That was the first time in a long time that she initiate any contact towards me. It made me feel special but I am kind of confuse about the whole thing. I am not sure if she's trying to give me hints that she still wants to be with me or that was just a friendly way to show that she still cares. Since I already told her that I am trying to move on why does she still want to hang out with me? While we were driving home she told me that she talk to my brother's fiancee about what I said to her but she didnt go into detail. She even said that we can fly out together to my brother's wedding next year. Are those hints that she still wants me? To end the night I had dinner at her house and then she was getting tired so before I left she gave me a hug and we kiss. So here's my question to you guys... should I have one last talk with her to see if she still have feelings for me and or should I just leave it alone? I want to give this relationship one last shot before I move on completely. This women that I am still in love with is driving me crazy.

[Leegh]

Romantic love can drive one "crazy". I know that from experience. It is especially hard when you get mixed messages, and of course, it's much easier to get over someone when they indicate that they totally want the relationship to end. In your case, it's much harder to get over someone when you don't know if they want it to end, or miscommunication. I think from everything you've written, it sounds as if your gal wants to get back with you, especially when she said that you and she should go to the wedding together. I would find out one way or the other, if she wants to get back together, or not. If she does, that's great, if not, then you'll know where you stand.

[gullibleme]

I feel the same as Leegh it really seems that way...like your ex said though it doesn't happen over night and go with the flow..don't barage her her feelings and emotion right now...be positive and show her your strong...she is testing the waters so to speak and it's looking good for you...give it some more time if you can handle it...in time I think she will bring up the answers you are looking for...good luck.

[NotOverYou]

I asked her to have dinner with me in a few days. Should I cancel dinner and forget about all of this and act like I've moved on? At the moment, I just want to know if I still have a chance with her. If I don't have a chance, I am ready to move on. I can't have her giving me false hope right now. Its either a yes or no and not I don't knows from her.

[Ladydrib]

I asked her to have dinner with me in a few days. Should I cancel dinner and forget about all of this and act like I've moved on? At the moment, I just want to know if I still have a chance with her. If I don't have a chance, I am ready to move on. I can't have her giving me false hope right now. Its either a yes or no and not I don't knows from her.

 

No, don't cancel and don't pretend you've moved on... unless you don't really want her back. But isn't that why you're posting? Because you DO want her back?

 

So this is what you do. Stop worrying about the future, the definitive answer, the "all or nothing" from her. It's driving you crazy and pushing her away. You can handle it, if you stop stressing over an answer. You're not going to get a straight answer at this point because she has mixed feelings. She still has interest in you, but she needs some time with you to see if it could go somewhere. Cancelling on her or getting clingy by worrying about the future are both things that will push her away. Just go out, have a good time, and take it slow. Don't stress if she's fine with the slow pace.

 

All it is, is that you happen to be more sure of your feelings for her than she is sure of her feelings for you right now. Take it slow and let your feelings synch up. If they don't, it wasn't going to work anyway. But keep calm and don't over think it.

[NotOverYou]

No, don't cancel and don't pretend you've moved on... unless you don't really want her back. But isn't that why you're posting? Because you DO want her back?

 

So this is what you do. Stop worrying about the future, the definitive answer, the "all or nothing" from her. It's driving you crazy and pushing her away. You can handle it, if you stop stressing over an answer. You're not going to get a straight answer at this point because she has mixed feelings. She still has interest in you, but she needs some time with you to see if it could go somewhere. Cancelling on her or getting clingy by worrying about the future are both things that will push her away. Just go out, have a good time, and take it slow. Don't stress if she's fine with the slow pace.

 

All it is, is that you happen to be more sure of your feelings for her than she is sure of her feelings for you right now. Take it slow and let your feelings synch up. If they don't, it wasn't going to work anyway. But keep calm and don't over think it.

 

Ive been taking it slow with over the summer. It got to the point where it stresses me out because I don't think she interested in me. I make time to go see her and invite her to dinner with me. Some visits are great and we'll for hours but some visits are dull which makes me think she's not interested. Sometimes I just like for her to assure me that she still has feelings for me. That'll boost my confidence level up.

 

I am having dinner with her tomorrow night so hope it all goes well. Ill tell her how I feel and go from there. If its going to take for me to take things slower than I guess I'll give it another shot.