Leigh 87 Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 If you really have a thing with someone, and love them, but broke up for reasons that did not relate to how you feel: provided you do not move on and meet someone else, do you always have those feelings, at least for a good while? .............. This section of loveshack, second chances, I had seldom been in, and it makes me think about love, and if you lost someone you loved, if you saw each other the track: what would happen? ...Has it happened to anyone here? Loved some, they loved you, and you got back together a year or more later? The love was still there even when you were apart? Link to post Share on other sites
Danb32 Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I think the thing is, everyone comes on here in a desperate panic not knowing how to deal with things. If there beloved ex decides they do infact want to try again, coming BACK on this website to let everyone know is of least concern to them, so we never hear about it here on LS. Shame really, to say this is a forum about second chances, and everyone tells you NC, move on, and that there's no hope... Link to post Share on other sites
larklane Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I completely agree with the above post, you never here the success stories, I know I've come on here a month ago in a panic b/c I didn't hear from a guy and he just got back to me last week and i didn't think of coming back on. I just posted again b/c i got in a panic about something else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted October 14, 2012 Author Share Posted October 14, 2012 It is quiet a shame. I would like to hear more stories of two people that have a "thing" for each other, that they do not lose even when they break up. Assuming the break up is not over cheating or something that is a 100% deal breaker, such as having to move cross country, then I would assume it would be a given that some people end up together. My current b/f and the travel partner he had were hooking up and he had very strong feelings for her. But after 4 months they went back to their home countries.. I know if they meet again, my partner would have something for her. He just "felt" something that will not just go away. If if was single and she was up for it, they would definately end up together. Lucky he loves me too much to ditch me for an old flame:laugh: But you get my idea, right? That if you break up for certain reasons, and meet again, it SOUNDs probable that people easily make mistakes and let people go for weak reasons, and therefore I do not see WHY more people do not end up together? ...Unless they move on FIRST and meet other people? That could be it..... Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I hope I end up with a success story. Lol Link to post Share on other sites
Ramzk001 Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 One of my ex did came back when i moved on. I fell in love with someone else, This time it was real, She broke up with me, Never came back! Its been 3 months, No contact nothing!. My hope is fading, Deep down i still miss her, have urges to contact her, Im realizing it that i cannot control someone else's feelings and emotions for me. If they love you, they wouldnt break up with you in first place, They are meant to leave you forever. Heart once broken cannot be fixed again Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I believe it is fairly infrequent that people who separate get back together. Often - as I have witnessed - it is because people grow and change significantly during their time apart that there is little common-reference to bring them back together. Yes, they may still care about each other, but that which nurtures and grows a relationship during its existence (i.e., being with each other and experiencing each others pains and joys) does not occur so there is no commonality when they re-meat. I know that I have remained close friends with my exes and when I meet them later, we talk about how we have changed and if our individual changes could have or would have been the same had we stayed together. Usually it is not the case. I still love and care for these exes, but I am a different person and THAT person desires someone/something different that my exes no longer embody. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 Carrie T - Most relationships don't work out. I know I will always have a love for Andrew, even if he did something really bad, like cheat or turn into an addict of any given substance. I guess having a love for someone is not really related to being able to go back and have an enduring relationship with them I just envisioned what I have with Andrew, and the mere thought of breaking up has both of us thinking "we have "something" there, and if we broke up tomorrow we would just sit there and love the other from afar, and still want to badly be with the other person. I guess that is because we would not have broken up due to lack of love or growing apart, and rather MY predicament, which I will not elaborate on again on here. I can see myself being more than okay though in the future. I can really envision myself looking back with a lot of love on Andrew, and happily moving on to someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 I have to totally agree! No matter what you write there is always at least one person who has to be negative ( bitterness perhaps?) everyone and every situation is different, people come on here for help and hope, I for one do NOT want to just give up and move on only to spend the rest of my life asking what if? I will not do NC, that is not about getting anyone back and is just a mind game for all involved! Funny thing is I read on here two stories who turned out to be from the same person, one story was from the wife's point of view the other was from the OW. Pretty clever really except they used the same username. Anyway the 'wife' was told that she had no hope at all and to get over her husband cos he wasn't ever coming back. Now the OW whose story was exactly the same as the wife's only from her side, was told in no uncertain terms that the husband was definitely going back to his wife, that he had never really left her and she should get out of the relationship with him! Two totally contradicting sets of advice! Some advice on here is useful, but please bear in mind that some people will allow there own bitterness to show in their responses to you, hey if they have no hope then why should you be the lucky one! Take all advice on board but please bear the above in mind! My husband is certainly coming round at the minute, has really changed, dresses up when he is coming to see me, spends all his time here texts me rings me all day everyday, hugs me, plans future things for us to do, however I can bet I will get responses of 'he's having his cake and eating it' 'he's using you' etc etc. hardly anyone will even suggest that he may be regretful and having second thoughts about our split. And hey maybe he isn't, but I'm not giving up hope, I will fight for the love we had. I personally will know when it's time to stop. And you will know too X good luck I hope it works out for you. Why not bother trying, just because most of the time it does not work out for people? I think there is every reason to hold out hope for things if you truly believe in them. As long as he has resolved or really worked on resolving any serious personal issues, such as being abusive towards you. Even Rhianna is back with Chris Brown, even though I CAN SEE he looks like a guy who has roaming eyes for all the hot models in his industry that are throwing themsselves at him. I CAN TELL He would be a sh*tty boyfriend! Haha some people just have that look abou them, sorry guys! It is a certain arrogance and air about them I DO NOT like. He may be a fine person to associate with, but would be a terrible boyfriend I believe. God bless RHianna for believing he is truly changing, and forgiving him after hurting her! And overlooking the fact he has models throwing themselves at him daily, who also have great personalities:sick: HAH I could NOT date a guy like that! If you do not mind, would you like to share what happened with you and your husband? WHy did you separate, and what makes you think you should get back together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 One of my ex did came back when i moved on. I fell in love with someone else, This time it was real, She broke up with me, Never came back! Its been 3 months, No contact nothing!. My hope is fading, Deep down i still miss her, have urges to contact her, Im realizing it that i cannot control someone else's feelings and emotions for me. If they love you, they wouldnt break up with you in first place, They are meant to leave you forever. Heart once broken cannot be fixed again Absolutely. I would be heartbroken if my partner lost feelings for me enough to break up with me, but I would rather face the pain of getting over it, than the pain of trying to convince someone to be with me:sick: I believe a person should wanbt to FIGHT to be with you through the many issues that occur during relationships; I want someone to try hard to make it work, rather than a person who I have to CONVINCE to even STAY with me! Link to post Share on other sites
fucpcg Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 ^ makes me think of this quote I read "all relationships go thru $hit, real relationships get thru $hit" There was a time my ex had got a lot wrong in our relationship, and she had no problems asking me to fight for us, for our relationship, please make things work, and we worked thru it and I am always thankful that I did because I would have missed out on an amazing part of my life. Down the road I screwed up quite bit, and when that happened she wasn't at all interested in fighting for us, and in fact was quite eager to go tell everyone what a lousy boyfriend I was. I've never been able to get my head around a person that could fight soo hard for forgiveness and understanding when she had done some really royally crappy stuff, yet had not even an ounce in return. Even after all the time apart (almost 2 years) I'd still be able to look past all that happened and all she accused me of unjustly, yet for her she still won't even talk to me. So there you go... could our relationship be salvaged? I'd still give anything to make it so. Her on the other hand, won't even say hi to me in passing. All relationships go thru $hit, real relationships get thru $hit. If she wanted it, we would be back together. The time apart and the ugly events post split do not phase me at all, I know I love this woman. However there is probably 0% chance of us ever reuniting because of her posturing. It's never about can or can't you make a relationship work after a breakup, of course you can. It's about what does both parties want. I don't know WTF she wants at the moment, but it's not our relationship, so.... Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 I've said before that I don't think that many get back together and actually STAY that way. Yet people on here disagreed with me. If so why dont we hear more successful recons? I'm sure if they did they would want to prove The rest of us wrong! Especially cynics like me. There was one couple on here a while ago. I think the girlfriend dumped him and I think begged him back. But it was only by his rules. I wonder if they are still together. I can't remember the guys username though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted October 18, 2012 Author Share Posted October 18, 2012 Well, my bf and I have tried to go on breaks or break up, but it was not down to lack of love, it was because I had mental issues, that I felt I needed to addrss before we continued on. But when we were apart, we were never really so; we still love each other, could not think about other people, and neither of us actually thought it was the end of us. And we got back together soon after. We are cool now and the fighting has stopped. Link to post Share on other sites
confused kitty Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/323356-they-can-happen ^^^^ My story to date, take from it what you may... Link to post Share on other sites
Meg717 Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 I have to agree that we don't hear about couples getting back together because there is no reason to come back on to LS and discuss it.. I work for a wedding planner who told me that she's met a few couples that broke up for an extended period of time, reunited and decided they were meant to be. Ever circumstance is different, each couple is different. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts