socialmedia Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Okay..so heres the deal. I made a very strong connection with a guy online. We started the online connection 5 years ago, but we both got into relationships, so we stopped talking and just had our seperate lives. We connected again in 2010, and by 2011 we started to meet up in person and we had ALOT of sexual chemistry. He was always the one initiating the conversations, and the meet ups. I wasnt so sure about the possibility for a "love" connection, but it was fun at the time and at the time I wasnt sure if a committed relationship is what I wanted, so I kept on this relationship hoping to not develop a stronger attachment. He seemed content (of course) with the sexual non committal relationship we had. It made sense of course because he worked out of town ALOT. He did seem to care about me quite a bit throughout the year. We talked almost daily online for the whole year. So I didnt count on him all of a sudden forging a new relationship with someone new, which got serious pretty quickly, and I had to find out about through facebook. I do beleive that this new relaitonship must have been in the workd for a while before I found out about it. The day I found out, I was pretty devastated, I didnt speak to him and decided I had to be the "bigger person" and delete him from facebook/msn/gmail chat, so that I could move on, and so that he could be happy with her if that is what he wanted. BUT.... 6 months later, and I am still not happy. I am still thinking of him. I miss him, and I didnt get to tell him how bad that hurt, and that I was developing feelings for him. I dont know why I feel I need to, but I was really heart broken. I know that I deleted him from Facebook for good reason, and It would have hurt to see how his life is with her, but now I kind of just want to add him back, or add him to MSN and talk to him and ask how he is, and tell him that I was surprised at his new "status", and I know a big part of me wants to hear that he misses me too. But I also know that is coming from a selfish place. I dont want to ruin his relationship, or be clinging onto the past, but I had NO closure, and we had known each other and talked online for over 5 years, and now nothing, so its hard to know what is the right thing to do...should I reach out to him, or no? Link to post Share on other sites
Breck Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I didn't read any of this, but my advice is, if you want a second chance your explaination needs to be one sentence or less. If it takes a whole paragraph to explain it's time to move on. When you are ready to reconcile, your past relationship can be explained in one sentence. Link to post Share on other sites
salmagundi Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I didn't read your post but I don't know if this is really helpful :/ Link to post Share on other sites
lemonlime Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I dont know... it seems like you were just kinda there to fill his needs for sex and companionship until something else came along. He didnt even say anything to you when he got with someone else. What does that tell you about his view of you? Besides that, it also says a lot that he was just kinda seeing you occasionally because he was so busy with work, but then someone else comes along and BOOM hes in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author socialmedia Posted August 14, 2012 Author Share Posted August 14, 2012 Thank you for the last response I got. He didnt have a low opinion of me. Maybe he was more compatible with someone else at this point in his life and I understand that...but I dont like the way he went about it, because we have spent the last 5 years building up a relationship, and speaking almost daily, to nothing, because he couldnt be honest with me and that warrants some closure I think. Which is why I was thinking of reaching out now, after the raw hurt has subsided, and yes I am still hurt but I am more rational and I think I could have a convo with him to let him have a chance to say something to me about it, so maybe i could understand? I dont know what I want from it, but I dont even think he would have to say anything...I just want to let him know. Because I deleted him/removed him from our only way of communicating once he moved out of town, and as far as he knows I hate him. But i dont. Link to post Share on other sites
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