NotOverYou Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 (edited) My ex girlfriend and I were together for over two years. I broke up with her five months ago, because we fight over the smallest things, we stop communicating to each other, and I kicked her out of my apartment. She moved out of my apartment a couple of days later after we broke up, but she wanted us to stay friends. I didn't like the idea at first, but said yes for her to not bother about it. Even though, I told her that we can still be friends. I went NC with her for the first month. It was a month later that she initiated contact with me. She wanted me to go over to her place because she wasn't feeling well. We talked and catch up on things then she wanted to go shopping, so we went to the mall. When we were at the mall she was holding my hand. It made me miss her and the times that we both had. We shopped for a hour or two then I dropped her off. We hugged and gave each other a kiss on the cheeks. After that I kept minimal contact with her for another month, but this time I contacted her because it was her birthday. She thanked me for wishing her a happy birthday and asked me if I can have dinner with her. I said yes. She came and picked me up. We talked and flirted a little over dinner, but didn't make out or anything. After dinner, she dropped me off and after that we kept minimal contact again, but over the last month or so I've been doing some thinking and I want her to be my girlfriend again. I felt like we broke up over a stupid reason and I felt like we can work things out again, so I wrote her a letter. I apologized and told her that I want to reconciled. She agreed to have dinner with me and we went over the problems in our relationship. At the end of our discussion, she tells me that she still wants to work things out, but would like to take it slow. She doesn't want to get hurt again and I respect her decision. She said that if things are meant to be then will be back together. She doesn't want to give me false hope, but she doesn't want me to think that she don't love me either. She just want to make sure it is the right thing for her. She tells me that she doesn't mind having me over at her place because she enjoys my company. I've been texting her more and calling her during my breaks at work. She doesn't seem to mind at all. I felt like we're on the same page, but I still need to clear some things up with her to tie loose knots. I just have a few questions for you readers... How do I take things slow with her and not force them? She tells me that I can't force things but to enjoy and hope for the best. How often should I text or call her? Should I be giving her space, even though she says that she doesn't mind having me over anytime? How do I make her feel special again? Should I let her initiated first contact sometimes? I feel like I am doing the initiating most of the time. Edited June 24, 2012 by NotOverYou Link to post Share on other sites
BB7 Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 Well I guess you can treat it like you are dating again and that's effectively what you are doing. As the dumper I think you should be making the effort right now but it can't be that way all the time. She is obviously very guarded ATM and that's okay. What exactly did you say to her about a reconciliation? Link to post Share on other sites
Author NotOverYou Posted June 24, 2012 Author Share Posted June 24, 2012 Well I guess you can treat it like you are dating again and that's effectively what you are doing. As the dumper I think you should be making the effort right now but it can't be that way all the time. She is obviously very guarded ATM and that's okay. What exactly did you say to her about a reconciliation? I am trying to make any effort that I can to make her feel special again. I call, text her again like we used to when we were dating. I want her to feel comfortable around me again. I know she's very guarded at the moment, and I can't just force things. I have to show her that I care and make her feel special again. What I told her I wanted a reconciliation, I told her that I wanted to work things out and that she should give me a chance to prove to her that I am a better person then she thinks that I am right now. I apologized for my part of the breakup and I told her that I wanted her to be my girlfriend again. Link to post Share on other sites
BB7 Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 I am trying to make any effort that I can to make her feel special again. I call, text her again like we used to when we were dating. I want her to feel comfortable around me again. I know she's very guarded at the moment, and I can't just force things. I have to show her that I care and make her feel special again. What I told her I wanted a reconciliation, I told her that I wanted to work things out and that she should give me a chance to prove to her that I am a better person then she thinks that I am right now. I apologized for my part of the breakup and I told her that I wanted her to be my girlfriend again. Keep doing what you are doing. It's going to take time for you to build that trust again and remember that you are starting a new relationship, the old one you had is gone. I can only imagine what it is like to have my ex come back to me but I would be extremely skeptical about any interest she showed me. I'd be pretty insecure at the beggining of a new relationship so I guess she may be feeling the same way. She needs to feel secure and like you are back for good but it's not just going to be that way overnight. Link to post Share on other sites
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