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Ex contacted me out of the blue about a year later


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Hi guys,

 

Some of you may know me from my posts from some time ago, but I would imagine most won't. In any case, just wanted to report back.

 

Back in December of 2011 my ex started becoming more and more distant. The more distant she became the more I started to lose control. Eventually she broke up with me. I was very hurt and saddened to the point where I was seriously considering therapy.

 

Eventually she drifted away completely and I as a fool attempted to get us back together as we were, but she had already made up her mind. 5 months had gone by and I saw her again and tried one last shot at reconciliation, but I was shot down immediately (last May). She told me she never loved me and that she's not the girl for me and that she was in a relationship with someone. In any case, we said goodbye over the phone and that was it.

 

I removed her from my phone, threw in the garbage everything she gave me, and I never asked about her even though we had common friends.

 

This past Saturday morning something very weird happened. I had gone to sleep and had turned off my phone. When I turned it on I noticed 2 text messages come in. It was from an unlisted number which I recognized was my ex's even though it seemed surreal because I never imagined I would ever hear from her.

 

This is conversation:

 

Her: Let me know if you're coming with me Mary [Mary is her friend]. I'm going to nap for a half hour and try to get up and go. At what time is the class today. I think I'm going at 10:30.

 

Me: [understanding this message is not for me] I don't know. I finished college a long time ago...

 

Her: What? What college? Mary?

 

Me: This isn't Mary. This is <my name>

 

Her: Omg

 

Her: Sorry

 

[i didn't bother to reply back at all because as you can imagine my hurt turned to anger after she finished it so I was not mood for small talk even though I haven't seen or spoken to her in almost a year]

 

After 20 minutes I get another text

 

Her: Hey Mary, I don't think you got my messages. I'm not going to the exercise class today. I'm still in bed :). Gym later, come to <name of suburb she lives in> and will go together.

 

Me: <Ex's name>, I am not Mary. You sent me texts intended for your friend.

 

Her: Oh my, I'm so sorry. Your getting my friends texts. I have to call Sprint. This happened before. I think somehow you're linked to her in my phone because it's showing me it sent it to her.

 

Me: I see

 

Her: I apologize

 

Me [After 1 hour]. It's fine. Mistakes happen.

 

Her [1 minute later]: I see

 

 

Comments? Opinions? I thought this thing is very weird. I can understand one text message being sent accidentally to me instead of her girlfriend, but all 4? I talked to some of my family and they don't believe the "my phone or Sprint accidentally sent me her girlfriend's text messages" story. They think it's BS.

 

They think it doesn't make sense for someone to be mentioning their friend's name verbatim in the text message when they are addressing them directly. Also, they said its odd that someone would mention in the text the suburb where they live when their close friend would already know that.

 

Also, why does she still have my phone number? She dumped me and I deleted her number almost immediately after.

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i agree with your family. i've had sprint for well over ten years and have never had anything like that happen. even when i changed my number -- and you said your ex didn't even change hers. and no - - most people don't say the persons name when they text them. multiple times.

 

so yes - -she's playing games. and lame ones at that. :rolleyes:

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I actually have heard of this happening before. Just Google "texts sent to wrong person" and you'll see it does happen sometimes. That's not to say the texts from your ex were 100% unintentional, I do agree that most people don't type their friends name into a text that they are sending them, or need to tell a friend what town they live in, so it's still strange. But I would just try not to get worked up about it and tell yourself it very well could have been a mistake with her phone. It's not like she tried to turn it into "well my phone must be messed up, but anyways how are you? We haven't talked for a while!". If she had done something like that then it would be pretty obvious.

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I actually have heard of this happening before. Just Google "texts sent to wrong person" and you'll see it does happen sometimes. That's not to say the texts from your ex were 100% unintentional, I do agree that most people don't type their friends name into a text that they are sending them, or need to tell a friend what town they live in, so it's still strange. But I would just try not to get worked up about it and tell yourself it very well could have been a mistake with her phone. It's not like she tried to turn it into "well my phone must be messed up, but anyways how are you? We haven't talked for a while!". If she had done something like that then it would be pretty obvious.

 

 

Don't worry I'm not getting myself all worked up. I deleted the texts and her number (again), nor did I use this as an opportunity to try to talk to her. Just thought it was very strange because she obviously still had my number in her phone, she mentions her friend's name multiple times by name, and the town she lives in which is even stranger.

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I remember you dude. It's games. Want to have a bit of fun? Call her out...I'm thinking:

 

Text her, "I don't really believe you. You have the whole track record for dishonesty going for you."

 

Pick a fight, it'll be good for you. You turned the other cheek on this broad and she played games. Have some fun at her expense.

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I actually have heard of this happening before. Just Google "texts sent to wrong person" and you'll see it does happen sometimes. That's not to say the texts from your ex were 100% unintentional, I do agree that most people don't type their friends name into a text that they are sending them, or need to tell a friend what town they live in, so it's still strange. But I would just try not to get worked up about it and tell yourself it very well could have been a mistake with her phone. It's not like she tried to turn it into "well my phone must be messed up, but anyways how are you? We haven't talked for a while!". If she had done something like that then it would be pretty obvious.

 

She may not have used it as an opener but immature and passive agressive people don't do that. They want you to do it...so it was your decisions, not theirs. So they don't have to take blame.

 

This is stone cold game playing.

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I actually have heard of this happening before. Just Google "texts sent to wrong person" and you'll see it does happen sometimes. That's not to say the texts from your ex were 100% unintentional, I do agree that most people don't type their friends name into a text that they are sending them, or need to tell a friend what town they live in, so it's still strange. But I would just try not to get worked up about it and tell yourself it very well could have been a mistake with her phone. It's not like she tried to turn it into "well my phone must be messed up, but anyways how are you? We haven't talked for a while!". If she had done something like that then it would be pretty obvious.

 

For my part I have completely disappeared off her radar entirely. I saw her brother last summer and didn't even bother asking about her at all. No phone calls, emails, texts, or asking friends any questions about her.

 

So whether or not she is playing games, is curious, sent out a "feeler" to see how I would respond, is single again, having regrets with her current guy, or whether it was indeed a "technical" glitch 4 times in a row, I am not sure.

 

I just found this entire thing very odd...

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I remember you dude. It's games. Want to have a bit of fun? Call her out...I'm thinking:

 

Text her, "I don't really believe you. You have the whole track record for dishonesty going for you."

 

Pick a fight, it'll be good for you. You turned the other cheek on this broad and she played games. Have some fun at her expense.

 

Joe,

 

Maybe if I was a lot younger and had the energy to be playing games I would, but I think I show my maturity by simply ignoring and taking the moral high ground in this case.

 

After all, nothing gets on their nerves more than when they realize they lost control of your emotions. During this time I took the power back I had given to her and gave it back to myself.

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She may not have used it as an opener but immature and passive agressive people don't do that. They want you to do it...so it was your decisions, not theirs. So they don't have to take blame.

 

This is stone cold game playing.

 

I think this is total game playing. Immature and childish...

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ok, we have to assume she's been in contact with this 'mary' person quite recently if she is talking about gym and class times...and this is the FIRST time any of the texts have been directed to you?? I mean really?? And like you said...MORE than ONCE. I don't think so....

 

Good luck to you bro!

 

And one more thing...at least she used a woman's name in the text messages!!! LOL At least if this was intentional, she isn't a complete animal, regardless of what happened in the past :)

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I once sent a reply text (as in literally hit reply... no keying in of numbers) and it went to a random person. I got a response from a random number with the person asking me who I was and why I was messaging them. It was the oddest thing, but it was RANDOM. It was someone I did not know.

 

Also, texting the wrong person in a contact list can happen, but multiple messages where the person's name is mentioned "Mary... hello Mary?!" makes it seem like she is doing it on purpose. Mary knows her own name..

 

In my opinion, she knew she was messaging you the entire time.

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Don't worry I'm not getting myself all worked up. I deleted the texts and her number (again), nor did I use this as an opportunity to try to talk to her. Just thought it was very strange because she obviously still had my number in her phone, she mentions her friend's name multiple times by name, and the town she lives in which is even stranger.

 

That is your perogative and totally cool. I think it shows that they have no control when you're willing to dish it straight without regard for what they think or feel.

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worldgonewrong

JasonRules: you should send her an isolated text that reads, "Mary - I disposed of the body. Now what?"

THAT will get her off your case.

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broken-and-lost

Hey Jason

 

Glad your doing well m8 and have taken back control the e-book you e-mailed everyone thanks for that last year :)

 

As everyone else has said seems like she wanted to spark a reaction and test water remind you she is out there glad your past caring too much about it now

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I agree. I think she was either bored, needed an ego boost, wanted to test the waters for a reaction, or she's kicking herself in the ass because the 'grass wasn't greener' as she had thought.

 

Whatever it may be, perhaps we will never find out. However, I don't believe this was all an "accident" or "technical glitch". "Technical glitches" don't happen a year after we stop communicating and they don't just start happening 4 times consecutively out of the blue.

 

For a 29 year old woman she is simply showing me how immature she can be by seeing if I would take the 'bait'. And given my cold very brief replies with a dash of sarcasm I think I handled it pretty well.

 

I deleted her texts along with the phone number. I don't believe I will ever hear back from her again, although a family member disagrees. We even made a friendly wager.

 

Looks like hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20...

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To me, it sounds like she wanted to talk to you.

 

 

Wilson,

 

I don't necessarily believe she wanted to talk to me. I think she was simply curious or simply making up an excuse to contact me just to test the waters.

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And one more thing...at least she used a woman's name in the text messages!!! LOL At least if this was intentional, she isn't a complete animal, regardless of what happened in the past :)

 

Yea, I did notice that she went out of her way to inform me she was talking to her girlfriend instead of a guy or her boyfriend which might explain why she kept mentioning her friend's name in the texts even though the messages were supposedly directed to her friend. Also, she says "I'm still in bed" and not "We're [boyfriend/her] still in bed" and she also mentioned the suburb she's now living in [apparently she moved], which is weird because why would you state the suburb you live in if you're sending a text message to your best friend. Your best friend would already know where you live even before you moved.

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worldgonewrong

My serious advice - don't spend too much time analyzing the texts.

This is EXACTLY what she wants you to do. To burrow inside your head.

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My serious advice - don't spend too much time analyzing the texts.

This is EXACTLY what she wants you to do. To burrow inside your head.

 

Oh I agree. Don't believe for a moment that I'm sitting at home obsessing about any of this. I just think this is comical because 3 weeks ago I got a text from my ex ex ex (3 times removed) out of the blue asking me how I was doing. I said, I'm fine and you? She replied that she was crying alone at home. I ask where is your boyfriend? She said he is working. So I call her and she was crying like a baby telling me how wonderful I was to her etc and that she took advantage of my kindness and that no one has ever treated her like I have. She said she was very sorry for the way she acted during our 1.5 year relationship and that she was very sorry for hurting me. I was stunned!

 

So I go to her place and she get's in my car and is telling me her current live in boyfriend doesn't want the same things in life as she does and she hopes that I don't have any ill feelings towards her. Naturally I told her that I was devastated when she broke up with me and moved out because I loved her and for a time I was angry at her, but I released the anger a long time ago. I could just see the sadness, guilt, and regret in her face as she cried in front of me like a little baby, but unfortunately for her there is nothing I can do because after she broke me in two I had no other choice than to kill all the feelings I had for her for my sake. Of course I care for her as a person, but I am not in love with her. In any case, she left saying "I love you".

 

My point is that many of my exes are showing up out of nowhere. It's strange...

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Wilson,

 

I don't necessarily believe she wanted to talk to me. I think she was simply curious or simply making up an excuse to contact me just to test the waters.

 

Isnt that the same thing? Think about it!

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Isnt that the same thing? Think about it!

 

Well yea it is without getting into the semantics of it, but I didn't give her the ego boost or whatever the hell it was she was looking for. Let her stew in regret and let her taste what she gave me. Justice is divine and karma knows every ones number.

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worldgonewrong

My point is that many of my exes are showing up out of nowhere. It's strange...

 

It's spring. Women and men start to feel the itch.

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It's spring. Women and men start to feel the itch.

 

That's right...breeding season is upon us

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