NordicStripes Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Ok, so things between me and my ex still aren't cleared up, even though some people thought they were. I stay over at his place a couple of nights a week, but we only kiss. No hanky panky! He believes that we are meant for each other, and is planning a future for us (like thinking about buying a house in the future, having kids, etc...). I am still very unsure, even though I would love for all that to happen. I can't forgive him for what he did, I'm not sure I ever will. Now, I have this really good friend of mine that I flirted with a bit while we were apart. And now he's asking me to spend a day at the seaside with him. I know that doesn't have to mean anything, and it probably doesn't, but I know my ex would definitely feel horrible about me going on that day out. But for me it's like a day I can spend with a really good friend of mine... What should I do??? I have no clue... Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 It sounds like you are quite confused here. Do you want to try again with your ex? Then don't go if you think that this other person has anything outside of friendly intentions. If you don't want to try again, then go and stop staying over with your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NordicStripes Posted January 25, 2012 Author Share Posted January 25, 2012 I would love for us to try again... But I'm still hurting every day. And I'm not sure this other guys has anything other than just friendly intentions... he's got an ex he's not quite done with either... Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Ok, so things between me and my ex still aren't cleared up, even though some people thought they were. I stay over at his place a couple of nights a week, but we only kiss. No hanky panky! He believes that we are meant for each other, and is planning a future for us (like thinking about buying a house in the future, having kids, etc...). I am still very unsure, even though I would love for all that to happen. I can't forgive him for what he did, I'm not sure I ever will. Now, I have this really good friend of mine that I flirted with a bit while we were apart. And now he's asking me to spend a day at the seaside with him. I know that doesn't have to mean anything, and it probably doesn't, but I know my ex would definitely feel horrible about me going on that day out. But for me it's like a day I can spend with a really good friend of mine... What should I do??? I have no clue... Flirting to me, could possibly take a turn and develop into something else. If you are serious about building your relationship with your ex and you believe it would jeopardize your progress with your ex if he ever found out, then don't do it, especially when you both are still on fragile ground. You pick a side and work on it. I'm wondering if you're hoping to establish a safe spot to fall if your dealings with your ex go off track. Only you can answer that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NordicStripes Posted January 25, 2012 Author Share Posted January 25, 2012 geegirl, you think it might be that? The thing is, I really like this other guy, as a friend. But I have never felt so much love, and I never felt so comfortable with anyone as with my ex. The thing I'm scared of is that he'll make me hurt again, and I wouldn't be able to handle that. The fact that he slept with someone else immediately after we broke up still disgusts me. And I'm scared that I won't be able to get past that, and that no matter how much I love him, I'll never be completely carefree with him ever again... Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 geegirl, you think it might be that? The thing is, I really like this other guy, as a friend. But I have never felt so much love, and I never felt so comfortable with anyone as with my ex. The thing I'm scared of is that he'll make me hurt again, and I wouldn't be able to handle that. The fact that he slept with someone else immediately after we broke up still disgusts me. And I'm scared that I won't be able to get past that, and that no matter how much I love him, I'll never be completely carefree with him ever again... You are so emotionally invested with your ex that you feel the need to hold on to mere feelings of comfort and familiarity. Then comes along Mr. Safety Net who provides you with a cushion to fall on if your dealings with your ex take a bad turn. You need to wrestle with your demons and work your way through them before you start dabbling with another guy. Most times when you are emotionally confused, the likelyhood of you making wrong choices in hopes of distracting you from your issues are high. This guy is messing with an ex. You're not sure about your ex. You both flirt. You're already questioning your friend's motives. You are all over the place. One hurdle at a time. If you want to work on your ex, then you have to tackle your trust issues you have with him. And if you've given it all you can and still can't push forward, detach and heal. Find some self awareness before attaching yourself to someone else because you are afraid of being alone and dealing with that void. Link to post Share on other sites
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