PoppyLove89 Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 Has anyone ever split up with someone despite the fact that they're still in love with them because they felt it "seemed the right thing to do" and then regretted it months later? Realising you could work things out, you want them in your life, the grass isn't greener on the other side, that you really miss your ex and truly love them? Would you contact them or leave them be because you felt you hurt them enough by leaving them? Link to post Share on other sites
bbronco Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 Yup. I broke up with my ex but came back after 24 hrs. I blamed it on timing, how I felt that our relationship wasn't a priority compared to his work and financial situation but he said we should stick with the breakup when I came back. I think because I ended things, I've gone above and beyond trying to let him know I'm not stringing him along and planning to flip flop again...that I accept my position of chasing him and trying to convince him of my feelings. But it's going on 5 months of me pouring my heart out and for some reason, I keep going down this road. Probably from the guilt of ever dumping him and hurting him. Link to post Share on other sites
DEABQ Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 Yes. Huge mistake on my part. I did it very quickly. I should have stayed and tried harder to try and fix things between us. She begged me to come back after 2 months. Now we are back and she is not the same. I caused a lot of damage and I don't know if it can be fixed, even though she asked me back. I am back in love, but she is calling all the shots now. Time will tell. I deserve what I get. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 Not once, not even a little. I give people every chance in the world, but when I make the decision to dump them, its only after Ive exhausted every other option. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 I think this is a very natural way to feel, but if you break up with someone then try to go back i have found the dynamic very much changes. With women once you break their trust i'm not sure you can go back, and that's a huge one because you left them once they feel you can just do it again. Just recognize that even though you miss and likely still love that person it doesn't mean you are meant to be together. If you worked up the courage and mentality, emotion to leave them in the first place you had a good reason. A few months isn't enough time to really grasp how you feel, you're in a weak state at that moment and still desire that support and love from someone but that might be a selfish endeavor rather than a realization of a mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
wow123 Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 Yes. I broke up with her. Regretted it a few weeks later and she was already with someone else. She not longer trusts me because I left. Link to post Share on other sites
Flare Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 From the opposite point of veiw, my Ex broke up with me because she thought it was the right thing to do. She said she still loved me, but "not in the same way" whatever that means. Now after 6 months no contact she contated me and is still questioning the decision.... but she's too stubborn to admit that she made a mistake... Link to post Share on other sites
fallenheart Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Technically I broke up with my gf, but it was only after months of her pushing me away that I did it. So it was her idea really. And when I did say "it's over" she walked away without so much as a second glance or a single tear in her eye. So yeah...who really dumped whom? I regret it instantly. I was very much in love and didn't want to end it, but did so cause I thought I was protecting myself from more pain. Now I'd go crawling back to her like any addict, but there's been no contact and there never will be. She's truly much happier without me. I haven't contacted her simply cause she's already hurt me so much I don't think I could take any more. Why the hell do I love someone that makes me feel so lousy anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I suppose it all comes down to the reason for the break up, but if it wasn't bad and you still love them, then surely it's worth a try rather than living with regret of what could've been. Only you know what is best for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Milocat Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 I have. And I stayed away. I was in love with him but he was an alcoholic. He went sucessfully into AA for me but I didn't want to date someone who I couldn't drink and party with, much less marry one (we were engaged) I worked as a cocktail waitress in a nightclub at the time and was def not the best influence on him. So I broke up with him. But re: Grass is always greener: Has it ever been pointed out that it could still be 'grass is always greener' when they come back? I mean, quite possibly it could just be that the perspective on 'your' grass is now different and looks greener from the other side. I don't know if I buy into the GIGS Link to post Share on other sites
weltschmerz Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 My EX broke up with me after 5 years of an eventful courtship. We were deeply in love, but things didn't go our way, since our families didn't approve of our association! (yes, the two of us come from backgrounds, where families have a say in finding the "RIGHT" marriage partner for their children!) Our situation was in the storm's eye from day one, since not only we followed different religions, but we also had different nationalities. Anyway, we pursued things hard and struggled against all odds, only to eventually succumb to pressures from family. His family, almost made him feel like a loser, for not getting married and not having a family, at the age of 35. Eventually, deeply insecured and "ashamed", he married behind my back. Needless to say, I almost died. After one week, and later after a month post marriage, my EX contacted me and professed his love for me but for reasons very obvious, I never entertained him. It's almost been a little over one year now, and since there's been no contact between us. But recently, I got to speak to a friend of my EX who told me, that my EX is in a miserable state and is all messed up. That he still loves me, still talks about me, misses me immensely and cries hopelessly. He thought getting married was a solution to all his miseries in life, but now perhaps, he's realised how wrong he was! Anyway. I am not happy, I am not sad, I am just numb. Unfortunate, it is, that a rash and impulsive decision by someone can adversely affect many lives, forever. Also, when I ask myself will I be able to take him back, if at all he wishes to come back? Then the answer is I DO NOT KNOW! I still love him, I pine for him every single day of my life, but then I can also not forget, that he's abused my selfless affection and broken my trust. Also, now we also have a 3rd person involved, and perhaps 4th as well (his baby!). Link to post Share on other sites
EnchantedOne Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Has anyone ever split up with someone despite the fact that they're still in love with them because they felt it "seemed the right thing to do" and then regretted it months later? Realising you could work things out, you want them in your life, the grass isn't greener on the other side, that you really miss your ex and truly love them? Would you contact them or leave them be because you felt you hurt them enough by leaving them? I feel it just depends on the people. I do love an ex of mine, but even if I wanted to be with him, there is no way it would ever work. If I had hurt someone very bad, and we didnt talk and I wanted them back, I would hesitate b/c I dont want to hurt them more. Now if I had hurt them by leaving and he forgave me and truly forgave me, and we were friendly, I might bring it up. My recent ex shattered my heart. He knew he did. He knew I was hurting while we were together. He felt very very bad and had a hard time looking me in the eyes. Now he knows I am okay with it b/c he didnt ever hurt me on purpose. I have forgiven him for the pain he caused. We can be friends now. At this point if he wanted to be with me again, he could tell me. Link to post Share on other sites
EnchantedOne Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 With women once you break their trust i'm not sure you can go back, and that's a huge one because you left them once they feel you can just do it again. I am a female. Before the ex and I broke up "for good" he did voice a time when he felt maybe we shouldnt be together right now. I felt crushed and yes the safety and security I felt went up in flames. I did find the trust again and felt safe again. Then we broke up totally. Im friends with him now and still see him often. If he suggests being together again, I will say ok at this point. I know he never meant to hurt me and he never meant to make me feel like I cant trust him. I think it depends on the man and how the female views what he did and why he did it. Link to post Share on other sites
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