Hoping for sincerity and new chance!

[Miss S H]

hi everyone

 

You may have seen my other post about my ex, but basically after him breaking up with me 1.5 months ago... I eventally reached a point about a week ago, where I decided I had to let go of my gut feeling and my heart still feeling and hoping that he will come back, and try to move on in some way. This meant, no contact which I succesfully managed for a week...

 

Despite wanting nothing more than to be close to him and having him back, I decided for now as he was giving me nothing.. I should refrain. Till last weekend, where he re appeared. He messaged me asking if I was out and how my day was and maybe we could meet? I was in bed, so I didn't reply.... Then at 6am he messages to say he had a bad dream, wishes I was there with him to snuggle and be close.

 

I ignored both, as I thought this is what he wanted... some space and for me to keep things "platonic" ..... I replied a few days later asking how he was and couldn't help myself, saying it would be really nice to see him, seeing as though it has been a month or so already.

 

He enthusiastically replies saying he is doing well, hopes Im well and asks how my week has been, then he suggests a catch up early this week if it suits me and I am free.

 

I am happy but try not to ruin it by being enthusiastic about his apparent change of heart... so I also ignore this message.

 

A few days later I message to see when it suits him, perhaps the tues or wed if he is free those days, and I really appreciate him giving me the time.

 

He replies hours later, saying he hopes im well and he is going to a house party and sends me a smiley face.

 

So the next day I re iterate and ask when we can see eachother?

 

He says he isn't sure if it will help things, and thinks it will make it harder on me.

 

I say well, there is only one way for us to find out and I think it would be nice and promise to behave myself.

 

he says "let me think about it, ok?"

 

So it has been two days of him thinking and I am struggling to not message him.. just to say hi.

 

He is a bit older than me, 33 and I am 26 and since we broke up he has been going out flirting with girls with his really alpha male friends acting like he is 21 again until 4 am every weekend! While we were together all he wanted to do was stay on the couch with me and would never come out when I asked him!

 

I am so confused as I thought he was calling out to me again, showing a bit of emotion in that he really in fact did want me close. Then when I respond, he dismisses me as though he has no feelings.

 

Can anyone explain his behaviour?

 

I just care for him so much.. and want so much to be close with him. I want him to have fun with his friends if thats what he wants, but I am struggling with the idea we're no longer together and he might be with another girl, when clearly he still has feeling for me

 

Any advice would be good from all you wise folk !

[LSgirl]

This would drive me nuts, can I ask how long you guys were together?

 

I'm hoping that my ex (right now it's Day 3 of No Contact) will have the urge to contact me, but I don't know how I'd feel about it because I don't think it would mean he wanted to get back together. Maybe he wanted to see if you were still into him, maybe he was feeling down and knowing you're willing to get with him makes him feel better? I don't know why people act like this as it's not fair to you. It gives you a glimmer of hope, but is it false hope? I would just ignore him and not keep messaging him when to meet up since he's the one who initated it.

[Miss S H]

Thanks LS Girl... it is driving me nuts.

 

We were together for only 6 months.. and for 5 of those, he was perfect to me.. he initiated everything after chasing me, talks seriously about the future, was sweet, attentive and considerate.... then about 5 months in after hearing from his ex of two years ago who broke his heart (he hasn't properly been with anyone for longer than a month since this) he says hes confused and maybe doesn't think his feelings for me are as strong as they should be if he keeps thinking of his ex.......... BUT he has been going out like a schoolboy since we broke up.

 

Surely he knows how much I care, why would he call out to me like that ofcourse I want to be there for him, but he seems so easily willing to treat me as though I meant nothing.

 

We had a really open relationship where we spoke about everything and I felt like I totally trusted him.... Now I feel like he is playing/toying with me.

 

I also feel like partly HE is the one who is worried about meeting up as he maybe thinks it will make it harder on him??

 

I just miss him so much... I hate false hope...

 

I will see if he contacts me by the weekend.. I hope so, I hate waiting... I feel like its getting me no where!

 

Thank you I hope your ex has the urge to contact you too and if its a rekindling you want I hope you get that also!

[LSgirl]

I'm in the same boat. My ex and I got together 2 months after his 8 year fiancee cheated on him. He didn't have much time to heal but during the course of our relationship he was great! But his ex would once in a blue moon contact him and I think it hurt him. He'd never go back to her, but I could tell he was still damaged goods. He finally dumped me after 10 months saying he couldn't give me what I wanted (he could never give me what he gave her). She was his best friend and first love, and there's no way I could expect him to move on that fast and offer me the same "love". I don't think of him as a bad person, I miss him, and somewhere inside me I have false hopes that he'll contact me and regret it, but I doubt it. Keep us updated!

[Miss S H]

That is almost exactly the same boat! I also don't think my ex is a bad person and thats also what hurts... is we really could have had something special.

 

I for the whole time we were together thought it was all ok, and was happy to hear him talk of his pain.

 

I do get upset though and think, he gave his love to someone who hurt him.. when I would never do that, but he couldn't give all that to me.

 

Also partly why he broke up with me, he can't give as much as he should and I deserve more.

 

I don't know why I can't let go, I really just want another chance...

 

I wouldn't say its a false hope to believe he will contact you and be regretful, it happens so often... Unfortunately we are victims of timing.

 

I just wish for us both to be happy... its so hard for me not to message right now... just to see how he is going!