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-   -   No contact.....how long is too long? (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/291903-no-contact-how-long-too-long)

English-Rose 11th August 2011 1:54 PM

No contact.....how long is too long?
 
I've been in a nc situation for about 6 weeks now. He tried to contact me after the first week but I ignored his emails. Nothing at all since then and I feel that the ball is in my court so to speak. I doubt he'd contact me again for fear of being ignored again, which I probably wouldn't.... Or perhaps he is just so over it now that he hasn't tried to contact me again because he doesn't think about it. I have my doubts about the latter.... Though this could be wishful thinking!
So....... How long is too long for nc? There has to be a line drawn somewhere surely. What u mean is if it's over forever then fine, nc goes on forever and isn't really nc anymore, just that I'm over it. Or.... I send a "hi hope you're well stranger". Thoughts? I really miss him and though I think nc is a good thing I am worried that it's just putting me out of sight and out of mind permenantly.... I think too much lol!

theseeker 12th August 2011 3:07 AM

I read that you should do 3-6 months of NC, depending on how long the relationship lasted.

I haven't had any control over this in the past, but my one and only ex did NC forever on me. It was very hurtful and made me feel like a freak of nature paranoid psycho bitch. I am not any of those things.

Kuite09 13th August 2011 6:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by English-Rose (Post 3562737)
I've been in a nc situation for about 6 weeks now. He tried to contact me after the first week but I ignored his emails. Nothing at all since then and I feel that the ball is in my court so to speak. I doubt he'd contact me again for fear of being ignored again, which I probably wouldn't.... Or perhaps he is just so over it now that he hasn't tried to contact me again because he doesn't think about it. I have my doubts about the latter.... Though this could be wishful thinking!
So....... How long is too long for nc? There has to be a line drawn somewhere surely. What u mean is if it's over forever then fine, nc goes on forever and isn't really nc anymore, just that I'm over it. Or.... I send a "hi hope you're well stranger". Thoughts? I really miss him and though I think nc is a good thing I am worried that it's just putting me out of sight and out of mind permenantly.... I think too much lol!

I wonder the same thing you do English Rose.
I wonder how long should NC really be and I also wonder if being NC is putting me out of sight out of mind for good as well.
I do think about things too much and I also tend to over think a whole lot as well.
Ive been on and off NC with limited contact here and there but he was the last one to contact me a week ago but I havnt contacted him anymore hoping that he reaches out to me again.

Nohbody 13th August 2011 6:28 PM

What do you want to accomplish? If you want to try and get back together, it's a tough call. Any communication you send, you must prepare to have either ignored or responded to with "Sorry, I met someone else and we're in love kthnxbye". Are you able to deal with that now? Then send something now. If you aren't, then wait until you are ready.

That's just my suggestion.

Rockyb87 13th August 2011 7:18 PM

Well put nohbody

Queen of Hearts 10 13th August 2011 9:03 PM

Tell them you Love them and you wish they did'nt have to go. Also that
you want them to be happy in what ever they do. Then let them go !

You become set free as well ! Then I would wait 6 months to make contact.

It gives them time to clear their head and then they will either return or not.
But do what you need to do. Each day is difficult when put in the chair waiting ! Good Luck !

blakjak 14th August 2011 12:17 AM

i am in the same exact process right now.... i will contact my former gf on my own on her birthday.... if she decides she wants to talk to me before then... lovely... i have been the dumper... been dumped... and with this girl tht i am truly in love with...it was mutual.... tbh... with any of my former lovers.... if they turly cared and truly made an effort... i wud be open to reopening a romance. however, none of them truly cared about me so no worries. with this current former lover, it's diff..... so my personal opinion... if they are a forgiving person or if they truly cared... the length of time does not matter. even if they got into another relationship do not be discouraged. odds are it will not involve true love. so as hard as it may be (as i am finding!!) keep calm and carry on xx

Seraph1 18th August 2011 7:43 PM

[QUOTE=Queen of Hearts 10;3567556]
You become set free as well ! Then I would wait 6 months to make contact.
QUOTE]

I told him not to contact me when we broke up. He respected my wishes until he broke NC 7 months later. Seems that he did miss and think about me a lot during that time.

It also seems like he is following the 'how to get your ex girlfriend back after you broke her heart' plan. Even used the top excuse to contact your ex girlfriend!

6 weeks is no where near close to forgetting about you. 3 weeks is when the peak of loneliness occurs and 3 months is generally the height of male loneliness... but about 6 months is when proper reconciliation can more successfully take place.


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