Knowing if you're making the right choice?

[Ginger Beer]

Hi, some of you may already be familiar with the female I've posted about.

 

I'm 22, she is 18 and we both live in different cities. It's been on-off since July last year, it happened quite fast, we both said we loved each other (her first) and I fell for her very hard, there were red-flags I was not aware of at the time, she was very flirty with other boys and would compliment them in front of me, she would 'like' their Facebook pics and comment on them, there were also signs that showed she wanted her ex (he dumped her in the previous January) and by September she said I shouldn't like her anymore as it wasn't fair on me, she couldn't be close with anyone at that time etc...

 

I didn't understand it and time went on, during the next few weeks she would make it obvious she was trying to get back with her ex, all the signs were there apart from her actually stating the obvious 'I'm trying to get back with my ex'. She was keeping me as a friend during these times and as this was my first love everything was new to me, I didn't know to go NC etc...

 

This was very hurtful and humiliating for me and after a night's drinking in October I sent her an email with all the stuff her ex did (how she wasn't his type but used her for sex anyway, how he used to brag about the stuff she sent him etc) I also told her how he was planning on meeting a girl off the internet for sex the following night. All of this was true, I didn't make any of it up.

 

She read the email and said she was starting afresh, for me to have a nice life and I didn't hear from her for three weeks until she text and started to be friends with me again, I didn't have a clue what her intentions were so I had false hope. She was stringing me along.

 

In December it was too much for me, I basically hated her by now and went into NC until April 7th this year when I finally replied to a month of constant texting from her saying how she missed me, she's thinking of me. She sent me a long text the next day about how she's really sorry for everything, she was a cunt to me and she should've just stuck to her guns, she didn't know what she was thinking and she'd marry me in a heartbeat.

 

We were basically back together again and things went OK for a bit, she was telling me she loved me again but then stopped after a couple of weeks, there was constant doubt in my mind all this time and I felt insecure (still do) that she could go again, the flirtacious side of her was still there and in particular one incident where she told me she got her breasts out in public whilst drunk. Obviously this really hurt me.

 

She would 'forget' to text me back on days she said she would and when I confronted her, her response would be 'I can't be arsed for this, I'm upset about something else' which she said were 'friend troubles'. These little doubts would continue until around two weeks ago where she 'forgot' to text me back again, so when she did eventually text I asked why, she got moody, said she was simply getting ready to go out and then ignored me (I thought) for an hour or so, I responded with 'I'm not playing your games, you will regret that' and she replied almost immediately with 'thanks for waking me up, I was asleep, I can't be arsed for this I wasn't ignoring you, end of'. It's not the forgetting to text when she's in the middle of doing something that got to me, I can understand that, it's that when we'd agree to discuss things on certain days, she'd forget although she said she wouldn't. Surely when you care about someone romantically they are on your mind and you wouldn't forget?

 

After she said she was asleep, I text back in the morning and apologised. She said she thinks we need space for a few days and that she doesn't understand why I get paranoid when she doesn't reply, that there's always a perfectly good explanation.

 

This angered me, I felt like we'd been here before (you shouldn't like me at the moment/we need space) so I decided on NC again and have kept to it, she has text me three times since, one saying hi, another saying 'bye then? xxxxx' and another yesterday 'are you disappearing from me again then? xxxxx', she even left an email saying 'text me back x' which I got this morning.

 

Now, I don't know what to do here, she has said she does want to be with me but I don't get that from her actions, I feel really unloved. Should I reply to her? The constant doubts and worries in my mind I have with her mean I lose motivation with things, I can't eat, sleep is affected and I generally feel like 'us' is just me suffering all the way through it. She never does anything to put my mind at ease, I mentioned once I don't like her out clubbing (after the breasts incident) as she is beautiful and I know what other boys are like. She could have said 'you have nothing to worry about', instead she said 'it's nice to have someone over-protective of me'.

 

Thoughts?

Edited June 15, 2011 by Ginger Beer

[0hpenelope]

See, this is where hardcore NC will help you. You're not used to it yet and she doesn't believe that you'll stick with it because you contacted her anyway. I mean, just right here:

 

This angered me, I felt like we'd been here before (you shouldn't like me at the moment/we need space) so I decided on NC again and have kept to it, she has text me three times since, one saying hi, another saying 'bye then? xxxxx' and another yesterday 'are you disappearing from me again then? xxxxx', she even left an email saying 'text me back x' which I got this morning.

:eek: :eek:

 

You said she's 18. This is her being young and immature. She is recognized as a legal adult in some countries, but it doesn't mean her mental age is that of an adult, which is normal. This scenario you're in is no good at all. She knows she's got you and she knows she can manipulate the situation because you are still in love with her.

 

Cut contact off soon. The more you play this tug of war with her, the more you will feel hurt, resulting in resentment and anger and all sorts of negative emotions that will only hurt you and your outlook on girls in general, and not necessarily her. If focusing on how unloved she's making you feel will help you kickstart NC, do it.

 

You cannot and will not change her mind and feelings for you by staying in touch. All of that has to come from her. You already know that staying in touch with her is not helping. Go away, disappear, and mean it.

[Ginger Beer]

See, this is where hardcore NC will help you. You're not used to it yet and she doesn't believe that you'll stick with it because you contacted her anyway. I mean, just right here:

 

:eek: :eek:

 

You said she's 18. This is her being young and immature. She is recognized as a legal adult in some countries, but it doesn't mean her mental age is that of an adult, which is normal. This scenario you're in is no good at all. She knows she's got you and she knows she can manipulate the situation because you are still in love with her.

 

Cut contact off soon. The more you play this tug of war with her, the more you will feel hurt, resulting in resentment and anger and all sorts of negative emotions that will only hurt you and your outlook on girls in general, and not necessarily her. If focusing on how unloved she's making you feel will help you kickstart NC, do it.

 

You cannot and will not change her mind and feelings for you by staying in touch. All of that has to come from her. You already know that staying in touch with her is not helping. Go away, disappear, and mean it.

 

Thanks very much for this reply.

 

Yeah, she is 18, 19 very, very soon. I'm not sure she thinks I won't stick to NC, I did it for 4 months already and it did take a month of constant texts, plus mutual friends getting involved, plus a thread on here for me to eventually respond. Contact has been cut on my part for two weeks nearly.

 

As for the highlighted part, I think it has hurt my outlook on girls already.

[0hpenelope]

Thanks very much for this reply.

 

Yeah, she is 18, 19 very, very soon. I'm not sure she thinks I won't stick to NC, I did it for 4 months already and it did take a month of constant texts, plus mutual friends getting involved, plus a thread on here for me to eventually respond. Contact has been cut on my part for two weeks nearly.

 

As for the highlighted part, I think it has hurt my outlook on girls already.

 

See... girls like me are not easy to come by. These girls are the ones who know what they want, they say what they mean to say, they have self-respect and will not show breasts to the masses, they are empathetic, compassionate, loyal, and know that they are also flawed for all of the good that they have. They make mistakes, they learn from them, and they grow as a result. Girls like me have all sorts of good qualities to offer and sometimes, we snag a frog who we thought was a prince and we're left behind, but that's okay: we acknowledge our mistakes without overlooking the ex's shortcomings and we move on.

 

We are not bitter.

We have self-respect.

 

Girls like that... Not all meet Mr. Right on the first shot. Some of the ones who meet the partner they stay with early on is a shot of luck and maintaining it, a lot of work.

 

There are girls like that out there for you. She's growing and evolving and when you meet her, at that right place and the right time (timing is so important), she will appreciate you and you will appreciate her. There are plenty of girls that are like this, but all you want is one.

 

You might miss her if you wallow in bitterness.

 

Take your time to heal. The anger, the resentment, the sadness, the pain, all of that ugly feeling is part of the healing process. Then afterwards, let them all go. If you don't resolve these negative feelings, you may find yourself taking them out on the new girl. Right now, your outlook is negative, but I believe you will shake that off in time.

 

19 is still young. She won't know what's good for her for a long time and she will learn what's good for her the hard way. If the public exhibition serves as a precedent (and I really hope it doesn't), it will definitely be the hard way. It's not about karma or about comeuppance or about vengeance, it's just her process of growing up will be the difficult path and she will hurt a lot of people in the process if she doesn't change. And you can't help her there.

 

Get yourself out of the ex's difficult path and carve out your own, away from her. Are you hopeful that she's going to change her mind? I just assumed that you are.

 

I want to inquire about your mutual friends. What's the status on that?

[Ginger Beer]

See... girls like me are not easy to come by. These girls are the ones who know what they want, they say what they mean to say, they have self-respect and will not show breasts to the masses, they are empathetic, compassionate, loyal, and know that they are also flawed for all of the good that they have. They make mistakes, they learn from them, and they grow as a result. Girls like me have all sorts of good qualities to offer and sometimes, we snag a frog who we thought was a prince and we're left behind, but that's okay: we acknowledge our mistakes without overlooking the ex's shortcomings and we move on.

 

We are not bitter.

We have self-respect.

 

Girls like that... Not all meet Mr. Right on the first shot. Some of the ones who meet the partner they stay with early on is a shot of luck and maintaining it, a lot of work.

 

There are girls like that out there for you. She's growing and evolving and when you meet her, at that right place and the right time (timing is so important), she will appreciate you and you will appreciate her. There are plenty of girls that are like this, but all you want is one.

 

You might miss her if you wallow in bitterness.

 

Take your time to heal. The anger, the resentment, the sadness, the pain, all of that ugly feeling is part of the healing process. Then afterwards, let them all go. If you don't resolve these negative feelings, you may find yourself taking them out on the new girl. Right now, your outlook is negative, but I believe you will shake that off in time.

 

19 is still young. She won't know what's good for her for a long time and she will learn what's good for her the hard way. If the public exhibition serves as a precedent (and I really hope it doesn't), it will definitely be the hard way. It's not about karma or about comeuppance or about vengeance, it's just her process of growing up will be the difficult path and she will hurt a lot of people in the process if she doesn't change. And you can't help her there.

 

Get yourself out of the ex's difficult path and carve out your own, away from her. Are you hopeful that she's going to change her mind? I just assumed that you are.

 

I want to inquire about your mutual friends. What's the status on that?

 

It's not the breasts thing on it's own, it's the whole flirty/needing attention from other boys thing that makes me feel really ****. The breasts thing although I didn't react at the time has really annoyed me. I'm like that, I don't react how I should at the time and then I realise weeks, even months down the line.

 

The mutual friends, she kept asking them if they'd spoke to me when I was in NC, they hadn't because I went into NC from her and everyone we both knew so that I didn't hear anything bad i.e. she's seeing someone new, that sort of thing. They were genuinely clueless as to where I had gone.

 

When I did get back into contact with the mutual friends (2 boys, they're good lads) both were saying how she'd been asking about me and misses me, this made me think she actually did miss me and she'd changed.

 

Like I said, her on her own would not have been enough for me to speak to her again I was determined to stick to NC.

 

Am I hopeful that she's going to change her mind? How do you mean? I don't think she'll change her attention-seeking ways, no. She is very immature but I do love her, we were like best friends before we got together, she even said she always had a soft spot for me and she loved it when we became close. Ideally I want to be with her but she makes me feel terrible so I don't think it's possible. I really don't.

[0hpenelope]

It's not the breasts thing on it's own, it's the whole flirty/needing attention from other boys thing that makes me feel really ****. The breasts thing although I didn't react at the time has really annoyed me. I'm like that, I don't react how I should at the time and then I realise weeks, even months down the line.

 

This is okay! Most of us have been there. And you've isolated one thing that you don't want in a girl, which is seeking inappropriate attention from your gender. Remember that as your dealbreaker.

 

The mutual friends, she kept asking them if they'd spoke to me when I was in NC, they hadn't because I went into NC from her and everyone we both knew so that I didn't hear anything bad i.e. she's seeing someone new, that sort of thing. They were genuinely clueless as to where I had gone.

 

When I did get back into contact with the mutual friends (2 boys, they're good lads) both were saying how she'd been asking about me and misses me, this made me think she actually did miss me and she'd changed.

 

Well, there's no doubt that she misses you, but you'll learn either from this experience or from another that being missed ≠ wanting to be with you romantically. Since you said that you were best friends before dating, there's a subset of interactions that she's had with you that she will look for. Also, the NC sounds like it only lasted 4 months? Genuine change requires time and more life experiences. I would not even entertain the thought of entertaining contact from an ex until years from the break up.

 

Truth is, most exes would be hesitant to say outright what they want, if reconciliation is on their mind. But you gotta have a clear head to make that call on your own, the call being "Do I even want to go anywhere with someone who played me and played me well?"

 

Like I said, her on her own would not have been enough for me to speak to her again I was determined to stick to NC.

 

I LIKE THIS. A lot. Where's the Ginger Beer that had this resolve? Bring him back, please!

 

Am I hopeful that she's going to change her mind? How do you mean? I don't think she'll change her attention-seeking ways, no. She is very immature but I do love her, we were like best friends before we got together, she even said she always had a soft spot for me and she loved it when we became close. Ideally I want to be with her but she makes me feel terrible so I don't think it's possible. I really don't.

 

I interpreted the subject of your thread as asking if you chose well for not reciprocating the contact. Yes, you did. She's not good for you at the moment. She'll get what she wants out of you, but you're an important component in any relationship. You're making the right decision, brother. You think she may not change right now, so that's another important red flag. You're used to the dynamic with her; you miss your best friend terribly, but you've established that she's very immature.

 

You've jumped back on the NC bandwagon. Now stay there for a while and clear your heart from the pains and the sadness. Get the negative stuff over with, get the help that you want and need, and get healing.

 

I hope I've helped somewhat. Hope you'll get some replies from others too, I feel like I totally took over your thread!

[Ginger Beer]

This is okay! Most of us have been there. And you've isolated one thing that you don't want in a girl, which is seeking inappropriate attention from your gender. Remember that as your dealbreaker.

 

 

 

Well, there's no doubt that she misses you, but you'll learn either from this experience or from another that being missed ≠ wanting to be with you romantically. Since you said that you were best friends before dating, there's a subset of interactions that she's had with you that she will look for. Also, the NC sounds like it only lasted 4 months? Genuine change requires time and more life experiences. I would not even entertain the thought of entertaining contact from an ex until years from the break up.

 

Truth is, most exes would be hesitant to say outright what they want, if reconciliation is on their mind. But you gotta have a clear head to make that call on your own, the call being "Do I even want to go anywhere with someone who played me and played me well?"

 

 

 

I LIKE THIS. A lot. Where's the Ginger Beer that had this resolve? Bring him back, please!

 

 

 

I interpreted the subject of your thread as asking if you chose well for not reciprocating the contact. Yes, you did. She's not good for you at the moment. She'll get what she wants out of you, but you're an important component in any relationship. You're making the right decision, brother. You think she may not change right now, so that's another important red flag. You're used to the dynamic with her; you miss your best friend terribly, but you've established that she's very immature.

 

You've jumped back on the NC bandwagon. Now stay there for a while and clear your heart from the pains and the sadness. Get the negative stuff over with, get the help that you want and need, and get healing.

 

I hope I've helped somewhat. Hope you'll get some replies from others too, I feel like I totally took over your thread!

 

 

It's OK, you actually have helped. Sometimes when I'm not thinking straight I doubt every choice I make and just need things made sense for me. I know it's the right one but it can be hard and I do doubt myself.

 

Slightly off-topic but she's going on holiday in a few weeks and I just know she will end up getting with a load of boys, wouldn't trust her at all after her 'overpotective' comment.

 

Thanks for this.

Edited June 15, 2011 by Ginger Beer

[bigmomma1974]

If you want no contact with her see about blocking her number. You should move on and heal and then find someone who respects you and loves you the way you need to be loved. She is playing with your heart strings and all that is going to happen is you end up hurt,bitter,angry and confused. Then you might think all girls are the same, This isn't the case. There are alot of Ladies out there wanting to be loved by a kind, caring respectful man. You deserve someone who will respect you and care for you. Also being drunk isnt a reason for one to flop her breast out. I have been drunk numerous times when I was younger and never have I did anything like this. It is immature and rude and disrexpectful to you.Good luck with what ever you choose.

[Nantucket1984]

Hi, some of you may already be familiar with the female I've posted about.

 

I'm 22, she is 18 and we both live in different cities. It's been on-off since July last year, it happened quite fast, we both said we loved each other (her first) and I fell for her very hard, there were red-flags I was not aware of at the time, she was very flirty with other boys and would compliment them in front of me, she would 'like' their Facebook pics and comment on them, there were also signs that showed she wanted her ex (he dumped her in the previous January) and by September she said I shouldn't like her anymore as it wasn't fair on me, she couldn't be close with anyone at that time etc...

 

I didn't understand it and time went on, during the next few weeks she would make it obvious she was trying to get back with her ex, all the signs were there apart from her actually stating the obvious 'I'm trying to get back with my ex'. She was keeping me as a friend during these times and as this was my first love everything was new to me, I didn't know to go NC etc...

 

This was very hurtful and humiliating for me and after a night's drinking in October I sent her an email with all the stuff her ex did (how she wasn't his type but used her for sex anyway, how he used to brag about the stuff she sent him etc) I also told her how he was planning on meeting a girl off the internet for sex the following night. All of this was true, I didn't make any of it up.

 

She read the email and said she was starting afresh, for me to have a nice life and I didn't hear from her for three weeks until she text and started to be friends with me again, I didn't have a clue what her intentions were so I had false hope. She was stringing me along.

 

In December it was too much for me, I basically hated her by now and went into NC until April 7th this year when I finally replied to a month of constant texting from her saying how she missed me, she's thinking of me. She sent me a long text the next day about how she's really sorry for everything, she was a cunt to me and she should've just stuck to her guns, she didn't know what she was thinking and she'd marry me in a heartbeat.

 

We were basically back together again and things went OK for a bit, she was telling me she loved me again but then stopped after a couple of weeks, there was constant doubt in my mind all this time and I felt insecure (still do) that she could go again, the flirtacious side of her was still there and in particular one incident where she told me she got her breasts out in public whilst drunk. Obviously this really hurt me.

 

She would 'forget' to text me back on days she said she would and when I confronted her, her response would be 'I can't be arsed for this, I'm upset about something else' which she said were 'friend troubles'. These little doubts would continue until around two weeks ago where she 'forgot' to text me back again, so when she did eventually text I asked why, she got moody, said she was simply getting ready to go out and then ignored me (I thought) for an hour or so, I responded with 'I'm not playing your games, you will regret that' and she replied almost immediately with 'thanks for waking me up, I was asleep, I can't be arsed for this I wasn't ignoring you, end of'. It's not the forgetting to text when she's in the middle of doing something that got to me, I can understand that, it's that when we'd agree to discuss things on certain days, she'd forget although she said she wouldn't. Surely when you care about someone romantically they are on your mind and you wouldn't forget?

 

After she said she was asleep, I text back in the morning and apologised. She said she thinks we need space for a few days and that she doesn't understand why I get paranoid when she doesn't reply, that there's always a perfectly good explanation.

 

This angered me, I felt like we'd been here before (you shouldn't like me at the moment/we need space) so I decided on NC again and have kept to it, she has text me three times since, one saying hi, another saying 'bye then? xxxxx' and another yesterday 'are you disappearing from me again then? xxxxx', she even left an email saying 'text me back x' which I got this morning.

 

Now, I don't know what to do here, she has said she does want to be with me but I don't get that from her actions, I feel really unloved. Should I reply to her? The constant doubts and worries in my mind I have with her mean I lose motivation with things, I can't eat, sleep is affected and I generally feel like 'us' is just me suffering all the way through it. She never does anything to put my mind at ease, I mentioned once I don't like her out clubbing (after the breasts incident) as she is beautiful and I know what other boys are like. She could have said 'you have nothing to worry about', instead she said 'it's nice to have someone over-protective of me'.

 

Thoughts?

 

GingerBeer,

 

Your both very young. Some say woman are more mature then men when it comes to age but that does not mean every girl. I am five years older then you and was going out with a 19 year old. I knew from the start I should stay away. I thought she was young, she hasnt experienced life yet, she doesnt know what a relationship really is. However, she grew on me. I had feelings from time to time that she liked attention but what person doesnt? But at the age of 19 some seek attention all the time and want it from every direction. I remember when I was 19 I thought it was the coolest thing to be talking/hooking up with multiple girls. But now, I would never lead a girl on or mess with there heart and mind. That is an awful thing to do, it really is. Now the relationship with my 19 year old gf didnt work out because I lied to her about something very important. Even though I love her I feel that the age gap is just to big and were at different places in our lives. I dont see anything wrong WITH YOU(being 22) dating a 19 year old but just be careful. All the things you are thinking and feeling, I would be thinking and feeling too if I was in your shoes. Exposing your breasts like that in public to me is very trashy and I feel you have no self respect for yourself. That is def. attention seeking behavior. Personally, I wouldnt want that kind of behavior in a girl but thats just me. Trust me my friend, I know exactly how you feel. You love her and care for her, but theres a part of you that knows shes just not the right one for you. I know this because I am going through this myself.

[Nantucket1984]

See... girls like me are not easy to come by. These girls are the ones who know what they want, they say what they mean to say, they have self-respect and will not show breasts to the masses, they are empathetic, compassionate, loyal, and know that they are also flawed for all of the good that they have. They make mistakes, they learn from them, and they grow as a result. Girls like me have all sorts of good qualities to offer and sometimes, we snag a frog who we thought was a prince and we're left behind, but that's okay: we acknowledge our mistakes without overlooking the ex's shortcomings and we move on.

 

We are not bitter.

We have self-respect.

 

Girls like that... Not all meet Mr. Right on the first shot. Some of the ones who meet the partner they stay with early on is a shot of luck and maintaining it, a lot of work.

 

There are girls like that out there for you. She's growing and evolving and when you meet her, at that right place and the right time (timing is so important), she will appreciate you and you will appreciate her. There are plenty of girls that are like this, but all you want is one.

 

You might miss her if you wallow in bitterness.

 

Take your time to heal. The anger, the resentment, the sadness, the pain, all of that ugly feeling is part of the healing process. Then afterwards, let them all go. If you don't resolve these negative feelings, you may find yourself taking them out on the new girl. Right now, your outlook is negative, but I believe you will shake that off in time.

 

19 is still young. She won't know what's good for her for a long time and she will learn what's good for her the hard way. If the public exhibition serves as a precedent (and I really hope it doesn't), it will definitely be the hard way. It's not about karma or about comeuppance or about vengeance, it's just her process of growing up will be the difficult path and she will hurt a lot of people in the process if she doesn't change. And you can't help her there.

 

Get yourself out of the ex's difficult path and carve out your own, away from her. Are you hopeful that she's going to change her mind? I just assumed that you are.

 

I want to inquire about your mutual friends. What's the status on that?

 

Ohpenelope,

 

Your right, girls like you are hard to come by. What you described is exactly what I look for in a woman. However, I noticed a pattern in the girls I have been with in the past. They all approached me. Whether it was at work or while being out. They were the aggressor and even though there was nothing wrong with that, these relationships did not last. I am glad there are still girls out there like yourself and hopefully one day I will meet her.

[Ginger Beer]

Ahh, I feel bad this morning.

 

I'm worried that if I don't reply to her she will get with someone else and I'll regret it.

[0hpenelope]

Ahh, I feel bad this morning.

 

I'm worried that if I don't reply to her she will get with someone else and I'll regret it.

 

Well... since she is the way that she is right now, what are the realistic odds that she will create something meaningful with someone else at this moment? I'm thinking that you're dwelling on the thought that she'll find someone that will inspire sincere change in her, but come on. Seriously. What are the odds of that happening, especially with the age group of guys that she hangs out with?

 

I can't tell you how to feel brother, but I actually feel bad for the dude that she gets with. He gets the fall from her immaturity, which in turn, spares you.

 

Really. I feel bad for him and relieved for you.

[Ginger Beer]

Well... since she is the way that she is right now, what are the realistic odds that she will create something meaningful with someone else at this moment? I'm thinking that you're dwelling on the thought that she'll find someone that will inspire sincere change in her, but come on. Seriously. What are the odds of that happening, especially with the age group of guys that she hangs out with?

 

I can't tell you how to feel brother, but I actually feel bad for the dude that she gets with. He gets the fall from her immaturity, which in turn, spares you.

 

Really. I feel bad for him and relieved for you.

 

This does make sense. I still worry though.

 

I think what's making it worse is that I feel we still have things to discuss, it just sort of ended with her saying 'we need space for a few days, not forever, I think a few days apart will do us some good' and I went along with it, didn't agree with it but I went along with it (not going against it so I don't push her away etc) but in this time I thought it better to go NC.

 

Ahhh I love her. I really do.

 

Also because we don't live near each other there is also the worry that if go NC I could never speak to her again. This is a real possibility and it makes things worse.

[Ginger Beer]

I need a quick reply if anyone can give one...

 

My friend just told me that she's been posting in a Facebook group (she's going on holiday soon with her friends) and left the dates she's going, twice, one with a wink on, four boys liked it.

 

Would you be worried she's doing it to meet boys there?