Rea333 Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Hi everyone, My boyfriend of 2 years ended things 5 weeks ago and I am crushed. I immediately went NC but broke it yesterday. I set myself up to be rejected all over again. He left me hanging with a I don't know at the time and after 5 weeks I couldn't take the not knowing anymore. However, it's obvious by him not contacting me I had my answer (hindsight is a wonderful thing) I know there's no chance now - he told me yesterday that he wants me to move on with my life and he didn't see this working out. Previous to this relationship I was single for 18 months due to the fact I was still getting over my 3 year relationship. This previous guy was the love of my life. Really he was. And he left and I couldn't function. I got through it day by day, month by month and eventually found happiness with the guy who's just ended things. Well totally out of the blue the other ex contacts me (we have no mutual connections, never been in contact for 3.5 years) saying could we meet. Can you believe it?! I spent 18 months mourning him and have now been crushed by someone else and then he reappears in my life. I am totally over it now - after all I've had a 2 year relationship in between and am dealing with that. So we met and after a few hours he said he's never stopped loving me, I was always the one and he always thought of me. He never thought in a million years I'd respond to his contact. We split because we met when he was too young - he needed to go out there and live life. He's since grown up and I really saw that. Doesn't mean we're getting back together. I'm still too cut up by the recent ex. But my point is, the ALWAYS come back! Or at the very least regret it. Especially if the relationship didn't involve cheating, harsh words and a nasty break up. It took 3.5 years but he did realise I was great for him. Bad timing and the wrong ex though! I so desperately wanted it to be the current ex Link to post Share on other sites
Heidi89 Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 But my point is, the ALWAYS come back! Or at the very least regret it. Especially if the relationship didn't involve cheating, harsh words and a nasty break up. Hey, this has given me a lot of hope but I was wondering if I could ask your opinion? We broke up after an argument where I was drunk and said some shocking things to him. The only time we ever argued was when I was drunk, which was basically me being horrible rather than an actual argument (this is not at all justifiable..I've finally learned that alcohol and myself do not mix!) Apart from the occasional drunken argument (granted we had 2 in the month that we broke up, including the one we broke up over), we never argued or anything. We really were a perfect match. After the break up, he said he was ending it on good terms and when I said I didn't mean the things I said and that I was sorry and I love him he said 'I know you didn't, I know you're sorry and I love you too'. He said he's never stopped loving me but just wants to be on his own at the minute. He's partying every weekend and using recreational drugs which is not like him. Is there any chance, in your opinion, he will one day feel like his decision was rather irrational and may regret it? Or do you think this comes under 'harsh words/nasty breakup'? His family know the 'ins and outs' of our breakup and said themselves that everybody has ups and downs and that this was just a down and nothing we couldn't have fixed by sitting down and talking about it. He just chose not to Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rea333 Posted April 12, 2011 Author Share Posted April 12, 2011 Hi there I think that a one off argument where things turned heated won't stop somebody coming back if they want to. Especially if you were good together before. I'm not saying things always work out second time round, but in my experience, they always make contact again eventually. That may well be a coincidental bumping into one another or that they actually take the time to message you. But this could be years (as in my case) If an ex hasn't contacted you after a few months, I think it's wise to move on with your life as if they aren't coming back. I just think never say never. I know not all people will agree, but I think there is hope for those who have been dumped. Whether it works out or not is a different story... Link to post Share on other sites
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