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My boyfriend of 6 years kissed another girl


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My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years on and off, but mostly on. We are both 21. Both of us are on spring break and he's at the beach. Today, he called me and told me that he was crazy drunk last night, blacked out, and kissed another girl. He said he doesn't remember it.. his friends told him this morning that she went after him and he just didn't avoid it. Apparently after, he was pissed at himself and his friends for not stopping him. Nothing like this has happened in our time together, and he's been apologizing like crazy, knowing that being drunk isn't any sort of excuse no matter how intoxicated he was. I cannot stand cheaters.. taking him back would be going against everything I stand for. I know in my heart that he's sincere and regrets it more than anything. But I'm numb and I don't know what to do. The future of our relationship is in my hands. I told him I needed a few days to think.. what should I do???

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if hes showing sincere regret, and you feel it is an isolated incident, i say forgive him and take him back, BUT make him sweat for a few days or a week while you play hurt and distant.

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You're both 21, and you've been together 6 years?

 

One question:

Are you sure this is the first time he's done this?

because I'd be astounded if it is....

 

You were children when you got together....

 

I predict this isn't going to calm down, I predict this will escalate, because if you two are all you two have ever known - at some time or another, one of you is going to want to spread their wings and play the field a little....

And I really think you both should.

 

It's extremely rare - and I do mean, extremely - that "childhood sweethearts" nowadays, make it to their 50th together.....

 

I hope you can work this out together, but consider these points:

  • Drunkenness is no excuse. In fact, drunkenness lowers inhibition and makes us do things that sober we wouldn't do. But that we might still think of doing.
     
  • If you forgive him now - it may subconsciously give him carte blanche to try it again, because, hey - you forgave him once, didn't you?
     
  • What do you really want from him? And is it entirely reasonable to expect it?

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Let him sweat it for a few days... then just let him know that if this was to ever happend again or if by any means u dont trust him the relationship is over. my brother and his wife have been together since they were 14.. theyre 29 now. 3 kids. theyre first at 19. theyve broken up before but they love each other too much. theyre each others bestfriend. they tell each other everything. :) theres hope for the hopeless.

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If you let this go once, he might do it again. Or might try other things now that he knows you are forgiving of his cheating (if you decide to take him back) It is so hard to move past any type of cheating, well for me it is. I say call it quits for a while. You are young, go be single for a while and decide if he is truly what you want. Tell him you need time to think about it because this has hurt you deeply. The thing im worried about it that he claims he was so drunk and didn't remember. Does he usually get drunk like that when he goes out. If so you may have more problems later on.

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