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A huge dilemma


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So my ex broke up with me in may, and I begged to get her back, constantly trying to get back with her and everytime she said no. I heard everything from I we're done, to it's over, to leave me alone. Immediately she get's with another guy... so after a month of bugging her I go no contact for about 6 months... on christmas day she calls me stating that she really misses me, and It's just now hitting her and it's really hard for her beleive it or not... She sais she still loves me and all this stuff..She started bringing up all the old things we use to do an stuff...She is still with the same guy she left me for 7 months ago.. and her and her man are on her profile pic on facebook.. So I ask her about that and say aren't u happy with the new guy.. and she said she's not in love with him,and that she still loves me. she stated that she ended up visitng my house and work a few times but I was not there..but she fought not contacting me for that period of time and finally gave in on christmas... I told her I am seeing somebody new .. and she started crying.. meanwhile the last few days she has called me and asked how I have been doing and gets jealous when I bring up the new girlfriend...last night she got in a fight with her boyfriend and immediately calls me.. If she doesn't call me today she will likely call me tomorrow... I really would love to get back with her because I still love her.. how do I go about doing this? what steps do I take to make sure I'm in control of the situation and don't get played or tricked.. I'ts great that she finally realized that she missed me.. any input would be greatly appreciated

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Dude... Sounds like the honeymoon is over...

 

Some many things I would say to you... But I am tapped out for the day...

 

Someone else help the guy poor guy out...

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Sounds like a classic case of GIGS. Did she tell you why she wanted to break up with you initially? What was wrong in her eyes in the relationship? Based on what you have written IF you REALLY love this girl and want her as your future and after the way she has handled the relationship all the way through I would say methodically keep distant while drawing her to you, it seems like thats working. She left you, went out and tried love somewhere else but something is missing from what you were able to give her. Id give anything to be in your shoes!

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Why on earth would you be talking with her about a relationship with you... when she is already in a relationship with the dude she jumped ship on you with?

Homebrew's motto:

 

The way you get them... Is the way you lose them.

 

Shocker... that she is now doing to him what she did to you.

 

Guess what she is going to end up doing back to you... again?

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So lets say you dump your new girl to go running back to your ex. What makes you think it'll be any different this time around. She clearly has the same commitment/GIGS issues that she's had with you, with her current bf and will continue to have until she gets her **** together.

 

I feel for you, I really do. It's hard not to think you can run back and it'll be as good as you've made it out to be in your head for the better part of this last year. That in the face of what could only potentially be there with your new girl.

 

She needs time to figure out what she wants. If a second chance was to last she needs to get out of this relationship she's not happy in. Go out and be single and live her life. Figure out what she wants. Find her own goals and happyness in herself rather then jumping from relationship to relationship to validate herself.

 

Life is long, you never know what can happen 2, 5 even ten years down the track. One thing looks very likely though - if you run back to her when she's at this stage you'll be back in the same place you are now within 6 months.

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yea, i wouldnt get back with her. you don't want to be her back up. sounds like the new guy isn't giving her enough attention so she's looking for it from somewhere she knows she'll get it.

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She has no integrity if she is trying to line up a replacement before leaving the new guy. Stay away from a girl like that. She's not interested in you, she just wants somebody to pass the time with before she finds somebody else. You have a girl now, let her go, she had her chance to be with you and she blew it.

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Not a dilemma to me... Stay away from your ex and break up with your current girlfriend because she sounds like she was a rebound if your willing to go back to your ex just after a couple pathetic phone calls

Edited by Hhhh
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Hhhh... One thing I got to respect about you...

 

You tell it like it is and you pull no punches!

 

Your response... made me laugh!

 

I am getting the feeling that this guy... Isn't about to take you up on your advice though...

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I totally agree with u guys..

 

If a girl really wants u back.. she goes straight to the point. So my friend stop hoping and wishing, just move on with your life bro.

 

Their are lots of girls out there, do a complete NC.. and if she loves you, she will definitely come back but if not, you have to move on.

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