Review my situation

[iOcean]

Ive been staring at this site afraid to write...but I am big time need of my fellow men and women out there to offer kind and real advice as I cannot get my mind off the ex - in the least.

 

I'm 34 and successful. She's 29 and successful. Now, mind you, everyone says what I am about to say, but when we met, it was pure bliss and love at first site. My friends and family were jealous of how "in line" we were. We dated for 20 months. Marriage was always the next step. She moved in after 3 months. I have a 7 year old son - joint custody - that she treated and loved as her own.

 

We were both Christians - her stronger than I - and we started going to church on a regular basis. Also, we were both in good shape, BUT, she was a workout nut and runs triathalons and such.

 

After a year in, things started to unravel a bit as she was pressing for a ring and marriage. Wanted kids bad. I bought a huge rock, but was determined to only ask when I felt the pressure "was off". Long story short, she moves out because she wanted to be living as my wife and not my GF (pulled the religiuos card). 2 Weeks later we broke up - her two big issues my faith (meaning she wanted me to lead her in her faith) and my lifestyle (She wanted me to take a more passionate interest in marathon running). Here is where it gets good:

 

She joins a new gym and reconnects with an old girlfriend. The old GF broke off her engagement because she "fell in love with the gym and a new workout lifestyle" and needed to find the same in a man (essentially obsessed with dieting, exercise and cross-training competitions). Suddenly, my ex is taking this mindset and has ignored everything and everyone that has loved her like family (My friends, my mom, my son etc.). I left for 6 weeks to Boston to train for work. Before I left, I proposed. She cried and all she said was "why didnt you do this 2 months ago? This is all I ever wanted from you". I told her to keep the ring and we'll discuss before I left in 4 days (I was not expecting a yes...just wanted to show her I was for real). The next day she texts me smiling asking if we could meet and talk over dinner...and I said sure, but no rush on the decision. She text my Mom all excited. All of a sudden, her old GF I wrote earlier who had been pushing her for a new lifestyle dropped her dog off to my ex to be watched...and an hour later my ex calls me, says to meet her downstairs and gives the ring back because after thinking, she feels I manipulated her with the ring. This was NOT her talking. Nonetheless, things got ugly i the next 4 days. So she it was over for good and that she has moved on.

 

I leave for Boston and have straight NC for 2 weeks. She reaches out to my best friend, asks for my new email, and we start conversing electronically. Very powerful stuff; not "I love you" or anything, but verses about love and relationships in the bible...a better proposal if I ever do it again, how our dog missed her "daddy"...how my ex wishes she could be held etc. Well, I come back and meet her for dinner at her request...dont bring up anything serious...and she drops it on my AGAIN: I am still unsure about what I want in life. Im working out taking it day by day. But I still dont see a future with us at this moment.

 

Wow. It was like a 180. She was mean and cold to reaching out and smiling and hopeful to cold again. Fast forward to now, the witch of a GF she has is now dating a gym rat from an hour away (That does competitions with them) and has hooked her up with a similiar guy.

 

All my friends want to see this work with us. As do I and my family. But they all agree that she has choosen an indifferent path for her reputation. Further, she is no longer living the Christian life she begged of me to.

 

I understand I cant change someones mind that is in this mode. I really do. But time is always NOT a healer. It can move them farther and farther away from you. Considering all we had and her words...and her being on an indifferent path for her...and her reaction to the ring...reaching back out again...to cutting off contact with even my mom...what do I do? GIve up? Fight? I am on 3 weeks of NC and dating...but my heart is just not in it.

 

I need advice from both genders. I know the one I want and love. Help.