poorguy Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 We broke up about 5 months ago now. We were together for 3 years. She moved on right away with a new guy-within a week or two as far as I know. She was not shy aboput me knowing about it either. Anyway we still talked a little after the breakup but then it was begining to bother me so I stopped any and all contact-total NC-2 months sraight. Foward to now,I'm doing well. I do miss her but the initial panic of it all is gone. So anyway two weeks at 8:30 in the morning out of nowhere I get this "Heyy I should'nt text you and this is really random but I want to ask you a question...I just want us to be honest..Did you ever cheat on me or was I not good enough?? I'm sorry about all of the hurtful things I would say to you-I never meant to hurt you in anyway. I don; think you ever understood what you meant to me. You are the one true love of my life and nobody will ever ever compare. I still always love you. I miss you, you cross my mind all of the time and I don;t think this feeling will ever go away and it sucks" Now I did reply to her texts agreeing with her but not actually saying those things back---SO QUESTION??? What did all of that actually mean??? By the way I did break up with her not becauseI wanted to but because of the party lifestyle and the people she was hanging out with were just no good and she seemed to care more about that part of her life than she did our relationship-or at least tha's how I felt Link to post Share on other sites
nittanylion Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 The text does not show she is pleading and begging you back. So, nothing really important from what she said except she trys to bait you, and gets you on a hook again. She trys to test you to see where you stand. Dont fall for her bs. I mean DO NOT REPLY. We broke up about 5 months ago now. We were together for 3 years. She moved on right away with a new guy-within a week or two as far as I know. She was not shy aboput me knowing about it either. Anyway we still talked a little after the breakup but then it was begining to bother me so I stopped any and all contact-total NC-2 months sraight. Foward to now,I'm doing well. I do miss her but the initial panic of it all is gone. So anyway two weeks at 8:30 in the morning out of nowhere I get this "Heyy I should'nt text you and this is really random but I want to ask you a question...I just want us to be honest..Did you ever cheat on me or was I not good enough?? I'm sorry about all of the hurtful things I would say to you-I never meant to hurt you in anyway. I don; think you ever understood what you meant to me. You are the one true love of my life and nobody will ever ever compare. I still always love you. I miss you, you cross my mind all of the time and I don;t think this feeling will ever go away and it sucks" Now I did reply to her texts agreeing with her but not actually saying those things back---SO QUESTION??? What did all of that actually mean??? By the way I did break up with her not becauseI wanted to but because of the party lifestyle and the people she was hanging out with were just no good and she seemed to care more about that part of her life than she did our relationship-or at least tha's how I felt Link to post Share on other sites
ImGrowing Posted October 25, 2010 Share Posted October 25, 2010 If she's still in a relationship with that guy, then maybe he's starting to treat her badly. She's sad or lonely and expects you to "be there" for her. You're no longer obligated to be her therapist, especially if she's still with her BF. Your answer no longer matters, and she needs some kind of reassurance that maybe she's "lovable." Ignore it. She needs to deal with her downfalls without you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author poorguy Posted October 26, 2010 Author Share Posted October 26, 2010 She texted me the other day about if I am still smoking...Once again in the morning. Why in the morning?? Wht would shae care if i stoppped smoking??? She wanted to let me know that she had a solution and we could meet up so she could tell me about it??? Link to post Share on other sites
ImGrowing Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 She's just bored in the morning. Ignore all her text messages. There are no "hidden" messages in any of those. Continue NC and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author poorguy Posted October 26, 2010 Author Share Posted October 26, 2010 Ok so now she texted me asking how my father's wedding was??? I told her some people were asking where she was. She said that would have killed her if people were asking where I was at a wedding. So why's that?? I will tell you she is being very sincere Link to post Share on other sites
atage26 Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 I think LS has a lot of ppl who got burnt and some have turned out quite bitter. I noticed esp males and their feelings towards the females. Anyway, not every situation is the same. But I've been doing this sorta thing to my ex. You clearly stated u wanted to know wat this means. IMO, it means she must have either managed to hold her thoughts and feelings and tried to FORGET and go NC with u but she failed and thus the text. OR She did forget you until perhaps u kept poppinginto her mind and she decided to text u. and the rest of the texts prolly means that since u responded, could b she's testing the waters and wants a way back to ur life. At least, that's how i feel abt my ex. I don't outrightly tell him that i miss him and that i want him back because i wouldn't want to do that til i'm 100% SURE. So whenever i think of him or i'm curious abt wats happening with him, i'd send him a text or watever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author poorguy Posted October 26, 2010 Author Share Posted October 26, 2010 A few weeks ago she texted me that I am the one true love of her life and how nobody will ever ever compare and that she loves me and misses me and does'nt think that feeling will ever go away-I did'nt say that back to her but I agreed.... Do you think that actually meant something-as in was she serious??? Would that mean she wants to get back together?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author poorguy Posted October 26, 2010 Author Share Posted October 26, 2010 Then last night she wanted to know how my father's wedding was?? Why-I just don;t want to get the wrong impression Link to post Share on other sites
strangeways Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 Fact is no one but your ex has any idea why she is contacting you. You could torture yourself trying to figure it out or you could just get on with your life. Unless she clearly states that she wants to give it another go I wouldn't reply to any of these messages. Link to post Share on other sites
Author poorguy Posted October 26, 2010 Author Share Posted October 26, 2010 We live about 15 miles apart. It's a big tri-city area. So she just told me that she took a job in my city about 2 miles from my actual house. That's really strange because there are several and I mean several branches of that company all over the place but only one in my area. What's up with that??? Link to post Share on other sites
JP2009 Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 Maybe that was the only place that had a job opening??? Link to post Share on other sites
Nkognito Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 (edited) Truth is, you're reading too much into it. She is getting replies from text so the puppeteering will continue. You really need to call this girl out, she obviously keeps you in her thoughts. What I would do is flat out let her know that you're very busy lately and keeping up with texts has become difficult. Then I would ask her if she wouldn't mind meeting for coffee or somewhere casual but during mid-day. After you set this up stop texting her. Leave her dangling and she will assume you got someone or are invested in something that is important and if she wants to compete with that then she needs to step up. Set your meeting up for a saturday and then meet with her, keep it short (30-45 minutes) and then let her know you have a prior commitment and bounce. Don't talk about the relationship. Keep the topics light and don't fake being okay with things. Talk to her like she is interupting your saturday morning cartoons. Listen closely to what she says, let her do most of the talking. Leave and then wait for her, the ball is in her court. Right now you're just giving in to her verbal whim and you need to stop. The more you keep dangling around on texting the more she will know how wrapped you are. If she realized she made a faux pas with ending it with you then she needs to fix that herself, not you helping her hold the mop bucket. I know I might be coming off a little tout but you need to man up and stop being available to her. Right now she is feeding off your attention and you need to cut that tentacle loose. Her saying you are the one love in her life and blah blah blah is not so convincing in a text message. If she is not stepping up to the plate, she is making you her rebound of her rebound. Everyone in this thread will give you the 3rd player view from the outside but to me, you're are just her emotional lilly pad. Read the first part of your first post 5 times before you realize that your 3 year relationship got a set of new tires a few weeks after yall split. and then you go on to say she had no problem show boating about it to you. Now her rebound flopped like stock in paris hilton colonge and she is running back?!?! My friend, I don't know you but you sure as hell don't deserve that, you deserve better. Edited October 26, 2010 by Nkognito Link to post Share on other sites
strength-abounds Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 You're reading too much into it. Cowboy up and reinstate NC. Link to post Share on other sites
atage26 Posted October 27, 2010 Share Posted October 27, 2010 If she realized she made a faux pas with ending it with you then she needs to fix that herself, not you helping her hold the mop bucket. But he's the one who dumped her. Link to post Share on other sites
loverofloveandstuff Posted October 27, 2010 Share Posted October 27, 2010 She's just bored in the morning. Ignore all her text messages. There are no "hidden" messages in any of those. Continue NC and move on. Agreed. Definitely bored. I send messages to exes and random people I haven't spoken to in ages out of boredom. Nothing more, nothing less. Link to post Share on other sites
Author poorguy Posted October 27, 2010 Author Share Posted October 27, 2010 Well she texted me all day yesterday. It was'nt anything crazy we were just friendly back and forthing every once in a while..Nothing about us or anything like that. She did want to make it clear that she's only a few miles from my house to which I did'nt really acknowledge-then I did have somewhere to be last night so I just stopped replying and just got on with my night Link to post Share on other sites
Author poorguy Posted October 27, 2010 Author Share Posted October 27, 2010 Oh by the way I'm bt no means giving her any type if impression that I'm missing her or worrying about anything...I'm just sort of nonchalant about everything. Although I do think I'd like her back Link to post Share on other sites
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